love,  marriage

THE MOST PAINFUL LESSON I HAVE LEARNT IN MARRIAGE SO FAR

Even though I talk and breathe relationship, I learn from people who share their marital struggles with me, I read about love matters, and also learn from people’s stories, yet, there are some lessons one can’t take seriously until you have experienced them yourself. Trust me; you learn them the hard way.

I’m trying hard not to think about the events that led to the quarrel which gave me the most painful marital lesson so far. It’s not a palatable experience. Ish. But the point is: my husband and I had a quarrel, which is a normal occurrence in every human relationship. But what did I do?

Arrrgggghhhhh. I talked too much. Rather, I wrote too much. It was a text message. I gave a six paragraph reply to his one paragraph message, saying things I wasn’t supposed to say, threatening to do things I knew I couldn’t do. Jeez!

That’s actually the downside of being a creative/fiction writer. Hehehe. Your creative part possesses you during a quarrel and you begin to cook up ideas in your head that will put you into trouble.

   Eventually, it was my message that became the crux of the quarrel, not even what led to the quarrel initially. I’ve learnt not to say too much or watch what I say when I’m angry because even if you’re the one on the right side, you can lose that position and flip to the wrong side if you talk too much.

The one who speaks little during a quarrel is usually more justified because they seem to obey the warning, ‘’You are advised to keep quiet as anything you say can be used against you in the court of law.’’

And yes, nothing can be picked from your silence.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t vent during a quarrel or when you are angry, but the point is: VENT WITH SENSE!

Do I still type too much when angry? Yes! But I do it with sense. I hate to be on the wrong side!  
So that’s it.

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