TO LOVE AND TO HOLD: ”SEX WAS NOT REGULAR AT ALL!”
October 17, 2017
The cuteness of this couple is alluring, I couldn’t help staring at their pictures over and over again. Much more than that, their interview is so rich, engaging, and very honest. I hope you learn one or two things from them. Enjoy!
Jumoke, a Nurse-Midwife, is married to Joseph Ekundayo, a flight dispatcher and station manager, also into woodwork construction. How long have you been married?
Jumoke– Legally, two years plus.
Joseph– For over 2 years now.
How did you meet?
Jumoke- We met in GTBank. Funny enough, I saw him before he saw me. I thought I saw his lookalike enter before he actually entered the bank. Immediately I told my friend, “hey that guy Twinnie walked in not quite long”. Then we started the ‘ultimate search’ looking for his twin all around the banking hall, but to no avail. On getting outside the bank we met him waiting, he beckoned to me, and that was it. I later got to know he doesn’t have a twin anyway. God showed me him before he showed him me!
Joseph- I met her in the bank, when I went to make a bank lodgment for my company. I was on transfer from Lagos to Akure then, in company of my Station Manager. I saw her and her colleague, I immediately got a message in my mind that she’s my wife; despite the fact she wasn’t ready for marriage at that moment. It took her much time to decide, but at last, here we are!
In a few words, describe your spouse and how he/she complements you.
Jumoke– I hope I would really describe him in ‘few words’. He has a “soft heart”, an extrovert (not on Social Media though), a free giver, diplomatic both at work and at home. He’s such a thoughtful being. Thoughtful enough to know what the house needs per time, from food stocks to toiletries to the baby needs. He buys everything without being told, checks the house almost every day and notes what is needed when I don’t even know or think about it.
He thinks beyond the moment, thinks about the future. He knows when to spend and when to save, he balances it equally. He hardly complains, even if he’s not so cool with a situation.
God is so good to give me such a polyvalent man. For me, I be Ondo babe, so, “soft heart” is not really near to me, an introvert, though not stingy, but where he will give #3000, I will give #1500, you get?.
Most times I live for the moment. I tried to be as thoughtful as he is, but he’s just always ahead of me. I can complain for Africa. When I’m not cool with something I talk about it till I start to feel it myself that I’m complaining.
Joseph- She’s cute, fun to be with, lovely and intelligent. Sometimes her level of reasoning baffles me.Always wanting to give a helping hand in all I do, whether she has the ability or not. She’s always on her toes for the family. She doesn’t want me discussing our issues with third party at all.
Even when my judgment is right, she still wants to be carried along She loves reciprocation, appreciation and attention. She’s future conscious. She initiates a lot of things. Always full of surprises! She complements me in all these. I’m still studying her though.
Which (pet) name do you call your spouse?
Jumoke– Honey, Temi.
What do you wish your spouse improves on?
Jumoke– I wish he becomes more organized, such as when he eats alone, he should pack his plates promptly, cover left-over meal he’s still gonna eat, dispose used cotton buds in the dustbin, not in the sink or on the bed without being begged.
I also wish he could just SURPRISE me by doing a particular house chore when I least expected, as simple as making the bed…Lol. I wish he can be more reserved with strangers or those he’s not really close to. I wish he does not trust people so easily, because when they eventually disappoint, it really gets at him.
Joseph- She should improve on how she accepts correction. Accept correction without argument or flaring up.She should watch my favorite film, sports and programs with me. I gladly watch hers with her, but she complains a lot when I watch mine.
What were the challenges you faced in the first year of your marriage?
Jumoke– Distance…quality time not spent together.
Joseph- Distance! Distance!! Distance!!! Intimacy, food, sex, outing was not regular at all. We are better now though. We are getting there.
What do you enjoy doing with your spouse?
Jumoke– Outing, gisting, and talking about the future. Teasing him too. I enjoy doing this a lot.
Joseph– Seeing movies together, chilling out in the evening/night away from home. Attending occasions together (though we have not really done much of this), eating together because it gives me appetite to eat more, in fact I end up eating larger part of the food, unlike when I eat alone.
Which house chores do you take care of?
Jumoke- Laundry, washing of plates, cleaning the house, cooking… In short, everything.
Joseph– None… I wish to, but I really do not have the time. She knows. I have changed our baby’s pampers few times though.
What was the happiest moment you’ve had with your spouse?
Jumoke- Lots of happy moments. The moment that would have actually been the happiest was when I realized I was pregnant with our first child, but unfortunately, we were not together at that time.
Joseph- First was on our wedding day. My surname came to pass that day (Ekundayo). I cried tears of joy. Second was when she called to inform me she was pregnant, after months of waiting.
What was the saddest moment you’ve had with your spouse?
Jumoke- When we were still TTC, whenever I did the pregnancy test and it read negative. He was strong then, he consoled me a lot.
What are the most important lessons you’ve learnt in marriage so far?
Jumoke- Focusing MORE on one’s spouse’s strengths than his/her weakness. Not waving the weakness aside always though. Understanding and accepting your spouse for who he is. Show appreciation often. Don’t take little things for granted.
Joseph- To love even when you have no reason to, as in when situations around you doesn’t warrant, forgiveness, perseverance, accommodation, tolerance, appreciation. Carrying your spouse along in everything you do. Things might work against you sometimes. Responsibility for nuclear family first! Others follow. Checking your doings with or without your spouse from time to time. Really, I have learnt a lot of lessons.
Do you know the passwords to each other’s devices?
Jumoke- We don’t have passwords to our devices. But we know passwords to each other’s Facebook account, Email/Gmail, ATM pin etc.
Joseph- No passwords to our devices. But I know the passwords to her accounts.
Is there anything you cannot forgive your spouse for?
Jumoke- None. Forgiveness is a vital ingredient in marriage.
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