A home filled with laughter is a happy one, and many of us wish for a marriage with plenty of humor and laughter.
Heck, I dread a dry marriage.
Because there’s something beautiful about having a partner you can laugh with.
Someone who gets your humor, who makes you belly-laugh at the end of a hard day.
You deserve it, in fact, you need it.
That said, marriage is not a stand-up comedy show.
Yes, laugh together.
Crack jokes.
Play.
Be silly.
But there are some things you should never joke about in your marriage because “I was only joking” will not undo the damage.
Not every topic should be open to jokes, especially not within your marriage.
7 Things You Should Never Joke About in Your Marriage
1. Joking About Divorce
Believe me, there are times my husband annoys me, and the “D” word crosses my mind. Lol.
Honestly, it does.
No matter how much in love you are, marriage is not a walk in the park.
It’s not always soft kisses and sweet cuddles.
There are hard days.
Days you wonder what possessed you to say “yes” in the first place.
Hehehe
But even on those hard days, there are lines you shouldn’t cross, and joking about divorce is one of them.
The word divorce carries weight.
It’s not just a random term you throw around when your spouse annoys you.
It’s a word that signifies the end of a promise and the breaking of a vow and commitment.
So when you casually say things like,
“I’m tired of this marriage. Maybe we should just get a divorce,”
“Better behave before I find myself another husband,”
Even if you’re just kidding, what your partner hears is not your humor; it’s your willingness to walk away.
It can build silent fear and send a subtle message that you see your marriage as disposable, not sacred.
Trust me, once your spouse starts to feel that your love has an exit door, it’ll be hard for them to feel secure in the relationship.
Because you can’t say you’re building a home together while joking about tearing it down.
I’m not saying you won’t get frustrated.
I’m not even saying the thought won’t cross your mind; I just confessed that it crosses mine too.
What I’m saying is: don’t speak it.
Don’t joke about it.
Don’t plant that seed because words are seeds.
Words have power.
And if you keep joking about leaving, one day, someone might take it seriously and follow through.
So even when your spouse is acting like they were sent from hell to torment your peace, take a walk, go and gist with your friend, eat a sandwich, and sleep.
But please, leave the D-word out of your mouth.
There’s nothing funny about threatening to end something sacred.
2. Comparing Them to Someone Else “Jokingly”
Let’s not kid ourselves, your spouse is not the best partner on the planet.
Yeah, they probably have some amazing qualities.
But I’m sure, very sure, they have habits that annoy you to no end.
Married for eight years now, I sometimes wish I could magically change some things about my husband.
Just a few tweaks here and there.
But you see, those thoughts become dangerous when they slip out of your mouth in the form of harmless jokes.
What you might think is a joke can attack your partner’s confidence.
No one likes to be compared, I don’t, especially not to someone who seems better than them.
There’s always going to be someone who’s doing something better.
A richer husband.
A more handsome husband.
A slimmer wife.
A more expressive partner.
That’s life.
But your job is not to keep score.
Your job is to love and support the one you chose.
Marry who you love, and most importantly, love who you marry.
You didn’t marry them because they were perfect.
You married them because you saw something special in them that felt like home.
So don’t start throwing that away by using other people as a standard.
3. Mocking Their Weaknesses or Insecurities
We all have our weaknesses and insecurities, and being adults with children doesn’t automatically erase this.
You know your partner more than anyone.
You know their soft spots, struggles, and their flaws.
You’ve seen them behind closed doors, when the makeup is off and the mask is gone.
You know the things they try to hide from the world, and it’d be a sin to use that information as joke material.
And maybe you both laugh… or maybe they smile, but it doesn’t mean you haven’t done any damage.
You’re not supposed to be the one who wounds the most important person in your life with words.
You’re supposed to be their place of safety.
Playful teasing has its place, so I don’t mean you should be uptight in your marriage.
Every couple has their silly moments.
But when your jokes are built on what your spouse is insecure about, that’s not teasing anymore.
That’s emotional cruelty, even if you don’t mean it that way.
Marriage is already hard enough with external pressures.
The last thing your partner needs is to feel unsafe with the one person who should know how to hold their heart gently.
There’s no trophy for the funniest spouse in the room if your laughter comes at the cost of your partner’s confidence.
4. Joking About Their Family
You may not like your in-laws.
Lord knows some of them can be a pain in the neck.
That’s fine.
You don’t have to be besties with your spouse’s family.
Maybe you have a mother-in-law who gives unsolicited advice, or your brother-in-law behaves like he owns the house whenever he visits.
Some sisters-in-law behave like you stole their man.
Annoying?
Yes.
But still not material for jokes.
Even if your spouse doesn’t always agree with their family, it’s still their family.
Blood is thicker than your sarcasm.
Might sound funny in your head, but they don’t land well.
Not at all.
When you insult or mock someone’s family, even as a joke, you’re attacking a part of their identity.
You’re touching on years of history, emotion, bond, and ties that you may not fully understand.
And whether they admit it or not, it stings.
Even if you and your spouse have ranted about a particular family member in private, that doesn’t give you the license to turn it into public comedy.
Your role is to support, not to ridicule.
If something needs to be addressed, talk about it maturely.
But don’t package mockery as humor, especially not about people who helped raise the person you love.
You don’t have to love their family.
You just need to love your spouse enough to be respectful, even when it’s hard.
5. Teasing About Cheating
Infidelity is not funny.
Like, nothing about cheating is funny.
I don’t care if you’ve never cheated or even thought about it; joking about it in your marriage is dangerous, especially when it keeps happening.
When you joke about cheating, you plant seeds of insecurity.
You open mental doors that should never be opened in your marriage.
You shake your spouse’s trust.
And the thing about possibilities is that once they enter someone’s mind, it’s hard to unthink them.
Your partner might start to wonder:
What if he’s actually serious?
What if she’s already talking to someone?
What if I’m not enough?
You may have meant it as a joke, but what they heard wasn’t.
Cheating, even in jokes, suggests that your loyalty has conditions and your faithfulness is something that can be negotiated with one wrong move.
No one wants to feel replaceable in their own marriage.
Well, I don’t.
I know some people joke like this to stir jealousy or test their partner’s reaction.
But it’s manipulative.
If something is lacking in your relationship, talk to your partner about it instead of pretending someone else is filling the gap just to make a point.
So please, don’t joke about stepping out.
It’s not funny.
6. Making Fun of Their Looks or Body
Even though I consider myself a pretty woman, I still feel insecure about my body, especially my flabby belly that has carried two heavy pregnancies.
Yes, when I see my two beautiful children, I don’t care about my imperfect body, yet I feel insecure about it.
Men are not left out; they have their insecurities too.
My husband is so scared of going bald. lol
See, we all change.
Bodies change.
Hairlines recede.
Bellies grow.
Skin stretches.
Wrinkles show up like uninvited guests who didn’t even call ahead.
It’s part of life and definitely part of marriage.
But one of the most hurtful things you can do is take those physical changes and turn them into punchlines.
I know these sound funny:
”Your pot belly is turning into a drum set.”
“You used to be slim when we married. What happened?”
“Your stretch marks look like Google Maps.”
Your spouse might even laugh on the outside… but inside?
I’m sure their confidence is shook.
Most people are already fighting battles with their self-image.
Most of us look in the mirror and wish we could change something.
So when the one person who’s supposed to love and accept us starts using our bodies as comedy material, it hurts.
You don’t need to be your spouse’s hype man every second, but don’t be their number one body critic either.
Especially not under the disguise of “just joking.”
For us women, childbirth, hormones, stress, and aging all take a toll.
For men, stress, metabolism, and yes, life, do the same.
We all carry evidence of our journey in our bodies.
Your words should make your spouse feel good, not shamed.
Desired, not inspected.
Safe, not self-conscious.
Your words can either heal or humiliate.
Choose wisely.
7. Downplaying Their Dreams or Efforts
Just because a dream doesn’t look big to you doesn’t mean it’s small.
You’d be surprised how many spouses casually mock each other’s passions and hard work, then call it play.
As a very ambitious woman, I don’t joke with my goals.
I’m very highly sensitive when it comes to my dreams, so I don’t tolerate any jabs at them.
When your spouse is building something, even if it’s still in its early, messy, crawling phase, your words can either fan the fire or kill it completely.
I remember when I first started writing. I wasn’t even sure if anyone would read what I was pouring my heart into.
But my husband kept saying, “Babe, this is good. Keep going.”
And those few words?
They carried me.
Now imagine if he had laughed and said, “So you want to be the next Chimamanda? Please pass me the remote.”
That’s what some spouses hear every day.
Discouraging words that make them wanna throw in the towel.
Look, you don’t have to understand the dream fully.
You don’t even have to see the vision clearly.
But if your partner believes in something, you are there to encourage and support.
Mocking your spouse’s dreams or belittling their efforts, even in jest, tells them you don’t believe in them.
And that’s one of the loneliest things someone can feel in a marriage, pursuing something they care about while constantly having to defend it from the person they love most.
You can be funny.
You can tease.
You can play.
But also be kind. Be thoughtful. Be safe.
So let the laughter in your home be the kind that heals, not the kind that hides bruises.