LOVE… the most abused world in the world!
Yes, I said it.
Often, what we call love is not love; it is just selfishness masquerading or infatuation.
In fact, obsession could take on a form of love, but it’s only a smoke screen.
It is not love because you both look so adorable smiling and dressed in matching pajamas or because you have Instagram-worthy pictures that make people go ‘ooh, ahh’.
Or TikTok videos that make some people tense and ask, “Am I a stick?”
True love goes beyond all those, even though those expressions are not bad in themselves.
True love is dynamic and rare.
People search vigorously for true love because it is not like the sands of the beach.
True love makes people do incredible things and act out of character positively.
When people are truly in love, it brings out the best in them.
Today we will be looking into the things a woman will never do if she truly loves you.
This may also help you measure the love meter of the woman you love, who claims to love you with all her being.
Just to be clear, even though the focus is on the female gender, males should equally assess if the love they profess is true or fake.
Please read on.
10 Things A Woman Will Never Do If She Truly Loves You
1. Intentionally hurt you
True love makes you feel like the other person is an extension of you.
Just as you wouldn’t want to intentionally cause harm to yourself, you will find that you are careful about hurting the one you love.
Because we are infallible beings and erring is a part of our human experience, you may fall short occasionally.
However, a woman who truly loves would feel deeply sorry that her words or actions hurt her man unintentionally.
She would also take steps toward fixing things.
People who intentionally hurt others don’t care a hoot about them, and that is a far cry from true love.
2. Cheat on you
True love and cheating are parallel lines that can never meet.
A woman who truly loves you would never cheat on you.
She’d be fully sold out to you and committed to your relationship.
I have heard all sorts of misplaced and trauma-triggered suggestions to people to cheat on their partners just to prove a point or make them afraid of the possibility of losing them.
That is not true love, at best it is infatuation.
I don’t know about you, but the question of whether a woman can love two different men at the same time irks me.
A woman can NEVER truly love two different men at the same time.
So, if your lady cheats emotionally or even physically with other men and comes back to tell you the world’s most famous three words – I LOVE YOU, then it’s safe to say she doesn’t truly love you.
When you are truly in love with a person, it is like a soul knitting, and you are so connected to them.
In that state of connection, cheating would neither occur nor appeal to you because your heart already belongs to one.
3. Disregard your emotions
A woman who truly loves you would never disregard your emotions or wave off your words.
In fact, when you are truly in love, you would always long to see your lover in their best mood.
When they are down, you’d feel burdened by how they equally feel, and you’d find ways to make them feel better.
Women in love even go to great lengths to organize surprise parties, send surprise gifts, or crack dry jokes just to see their men smile.
I am a lover girl, and I love to see my husband happy.
Anything that touches his emotions is bound to touch me and have me looking for ways to get my man back.
I care about how he feels, and sometimes, I intentionally look into his eyes to see how he is really doing.
This is just to say that when you truly love a man, you’ll care too much about his emotions to even attempt to disregard them.
4. Speak ill of you
Isn’t it ironic that the tongue is such a small body part but responsible for causing the worst betrayals and even sponsoring wars worldwide?
I personally believe that before a person can speak ill of you, they have to think ill of you.
After all, it is “out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks.”
So here is the thing: if there’s truly love in your heart for that man, you won’t be able to talk bad about him.
Love and hatred are like oil and water; they can never mix, so if what you have is true love, it will be pure and devoid of other negative emotions.
Now, I am not advocating that you become a sycophant all because of love, but true love stems from a true heart.
Your lover might not always do things you agree with, but you won’t go as far as tearing them down with your words, especially behind their backs.
5. Throw you under the bus
You may throw people under the bus because you desire self-preservation, but this isn’t the way of true love.
When a woman truly loves a man, she’ll defend him and stand up for him.
Not to mess with your mind, I don’t mean she’ll unleash her inner Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee on anyone who opposes him.
Instead, she shows loyalty and won’t allow him to be spoken about the wrong way.
In the previous point, we talked about not speaking ill of him, but here, whether in his presence or behind him, she’ll refuse to cast herself in a good light at his detriment.
Honestly, there is no love without loyalty!
6. Hide things from you
I usually joke that if you don’t want another soul to hear something, you probably shouldn’t tell me because I won’t tell another soul o, but my husband will hear, lol.
Well, that’s just on a lighter note because I counsel people, and they confide in me, and I don’t share with my husband.
But my point is that when a woman truly loves you, she won’t hide things from you.
I advocate for full disclosure in relationships, but I also think the balance is that full disclosure should be about personal things or things that directly or indirectly affect our relationship.
It would be wrong to expect me to break the confidence of my clients by sharing their issues with my man because I love him.
As far as I am concerned, that is unethical and gossip.
Anyway, when a woman loves a man, she will never hide information about herself or information that impacts their relationship.
It is very heartwrenching to be far gone in a relationship only to discover that your woman isn’t who she claimed to be and she has skeletons in her wardrobe.
Mehn! True love doesn’t do that to others.
Some secrets don’t stay buried, and certain ghosts don’t hide forever: love always compel one to choose truth.
7. Break your confidence
Quite similar to the previous point, a woman who loves you would never break your confidence.
It is the height of irresponsibility and wickedness to break the confidence and trust of the one you love.
Haba!
For instance, he confided his struggle with masturbation and pornography in you, and the next thing all your friends know: and the news keeps spreading like wildfire in the harmattan season.
That is not love, abeg! (please)
Love is beyond butterflies in the belly, and I believe that only mature minds should venture into romantic love because “wetin be this?”
True love doesn’t have a leaking mouth and isn’t irresponsible.
When you truly love a man, and he shares things with you, you uphold that trust and stand by him.
8. Control you
I have heard people use the word “tame” in the same sentence as love, and it “flabberwhelms” (a self-coined word that means the combination of the words, flabbergasted and overwhelmed – now you get the picture) me!
For instance, “I love him, but he needs to be tamed.”
Tame?
As in tame a lion?
How is that even love?
When a woman truly loves a man, she doesn’t try to control everything about his life.
Those military shenanigans have no bearing to true love, and of course, love isn’t mindless.
Oftentimes, controlling women who fall in love find that they can’t maintain the Margret Thatcher stance because of the new way they feel and how fiercely they love this man.
Such love comes with honor, and when control is an element in the conversation of love, there is definitely no honor.
And that, my dear, is not true love.
9. Manipulate you
Manipulators are just what Nigerians like to call “werey dey disguise.”
I know that when we talk about narcissism, more than half the time, the male gender is the culprit, but hol’ up… there are narcissistic women, too.
They are out there to manipulate and gaslight their victims.
Under the guise of true love, they perpetrate this evil and sometimes get away with it.
Any form of manipulation has nothing to do with true love, and I can tell you this for free.
10. Belittle you
Bettling people is one of the worst ways to treat another human being, so I can’t imagine that this is the disposition of a person who truly loves you.
Unfortunately, some men are in supposed ‘love’ relationships where their woman yells at them, talks down on them, insults or undermines them.
When a woman truly loves a man, she NEVER belittles him.
In fact, no one should belittle another human being for any reason.
It is despicable and has no roots in love.
I know many times we focus on what love is but also understanding what love IS NOT will ‘breakfast’ proof your heart.
You’ll certainly thank me for this now or later.