Women and emotions are very related; it is argued that they are more emotional than the male gender.
This is not a problem, but it becomes something to really worry about when the woman can no longer control these emotions or when they get the better of her.
When a woman has gone through some difficult or not-so-pleasant experience that makes her behave in a way contrary to her usual self, then she can be said to be emotionally ruined.
These could be as a result of past hurt from either a close relative, loved ones, or even a stranger.
Some women have experienced sexual abuse, physical abuse, and even verbal abuse.
All these experiences have a way of shaping them into who they become in the future.
Some people have been hurt so much in the past that it has affected who they are now, even though the incidents happened a long time ago.
For some, it could be because of their upbringing; if you grow up in a family that does love or show love, you might find the concept of love weird or absurd.
Most times, these women don’t even know they are emotionally ruined, and some of their actions are not intentional; they mostly can’t help but behave in such ways.
It doesn’t mean they are wicked or bad; it is just their way of expressing themselves or protecting themselves from harm.
Here are some ways to help identify an emotionally ruined woman.
8 Signs Of An Emotionally Ruined Woman
1. She doesn’t trust people
I believe trust should be earned and not given easily, but what should we do to someone who doesn’t want to believe anybody?
She will doubt you and everything about you.
This can be condoned for a while, but after some time, it can become annoying.
I once had a neighbor whose wife would always doubt her husband even when he spoke the truth.
It’s always a case of her accusing the husband of what he didn’t do.
This went on for a while until the husband couldn’t help it and had to seek solace from other women outside.
I am not justifying his cheating in any way.
I am just saying that it can be very frustrating to be distrusted by someone close to you; it just gives a sense of betrayal and hurt.
An emotionally ruined woman trusts no one and believes everybody is out there to hurt her, and she has to protect herself from “everybody.”
Think of an injured cobra spitting in every direction; that’s the image of an emotionally ruined woman.
2. She suffers from a low self-esteem
No matter how beautiful and intelligent she is, she will always second-guess herself.
She just doesn’t believe she is beautiful or intelligent or even smart.
She doesn’t even believe she can be those things.
This could be because she has been verbally abused at some point in their life, and this experience has made her believe she can never be anything good.
In fact, she will never believe you when you genuinely compliment her; she might even see it as you being sarcastic or mocking her.
Yes, it’s that bad.
Most of the time, she has no idea what she does to people through her actions.
She lacks self-confidence, and no amount of pep talk can make her feel better.
She also tends to please people because she believes she is lesser than them and finds it hard to say no.
She thinks about everybody but ignores herself.
3. She transfers aggression
You wonder why this person is always angry or always reacting to certain things in a different way, well, it might be because their emotions have been tampered with.
Think of a person grabbing an AK 47 to kill a mosquito…
An emotionally ruined woman flares up at any given opportunity, and she finds ways to make others around her irritable or uncomfortable.
She makes others uncomfortable because she is uncomfortable.
It’s more like, “I am not fine, then no one else can be fine,” and in the real sense, it is unfair.
But most of the time, it’s her way of coping with her hurt, and she often cannot control it.
She knows she is not doing the right thing or handling her emotions well, but she just lets it happen.
She is often perceived as wicked, rude, uncouth, and sometimes naughty.
4. Her mood swings are erratic
Have you ever met someone who switches their mood faster than flipping a book page, and you wonder what went wrong?
She just switched from an energy level of one hundred percent to x percent, and you are wondering what happened.
Be assured, it’s not you; it’s her emotions doing the most at that point.
I have seen this happen, and each time I remember, I still wonder.
It is funny and not funny at the same time.
It is funny when you are told about it until you actually see it happen.
At first, it came as a shock to me because I hadn’t seen that before.
I was just chatting with this lady, and when I mentioned something, she went from laughing to keeping quiet.
I asked her what went wrong, and she replied, “Nothing.”
I couldn’t wrap my head around it for a while.
We met later, and she apologized, and since then, I’ve known that about her.
Anytime it happens now, I follow her tempo.
If you are not used to or understand that, it may be hard for you to accept and even make you think you are at fault.
It could also strain your relationship with her.
6. She self-blame a lot
She always blames herself even when it is not her fault.
It’s like a default setting to accept fault and blame.
When something goes wrong, she believes she caused it.
This attitude makes it easier for people to shift the blame on her and, most times, cloud her judgment.
Even when the truth is presented to her, she thinks about what she could have done or not done to prevent the accident, even when it is obvious there is nothing she could have done to prevent it.
It is easier for her to blame herself than to think of a solution.
This could, most times, lead to self-harm because she believes it is the best way to punish herself for her “wrongdoing.”
This is because she believes she is at fault and deserves to be punished.
7. She hates love
It is one thing for a person to be distrustful of love, and if we are sincere, many times we want to be sure.
It is like going to the market to buy something and checking it to see if what you saw and paid for was what you got.
Sometimes, people are a little distrusting, and that’s okay, but an emotionally ruined woman goes overboard.
She throws out the baby with the bathwater and shows an absolute disdain for love and anything that represents romantic love around her.
She hates to watch romantic movies or attend events that remind her of the larger-than-life villain in her mind – LOVE.
She refuses to be happy for others who are happy and detaches herself from happy events because what’s there to be happy about?
8. She believes the worst about life and people
Hurting people always hurt others, no doubt, and when you think of an emotionally ruined woman, think of gloom.
Her emotions have been shattered by past experiences and relationships, and she now sees through the lenses of her trauma.
Every human being is bad and evil.
Everything about life is evil, and there is no silver lining in her sky because she can’t see it.
Somehow, our belief about life and our hope is what keeps us anchored.
No wonder a wise man in the bible was quoted to have said, “When there is life, there is hope.”
An emotionally ruined woman cares not a hoot about the hope life brings.
An emotionally ruined woman is stuck in the shadows of the past, and even the future looks bleak.
As far as she is concerned, all hope is lost.
For this reason, she isolates herself mostly and waves the “Keep off!” warning sign at anyone who dares to come close.
Emotional ruin is not a curse, nor is it a terminal disease, so you don’t necessarily have to run away from them or totally avoid women like this.
They also need help because they usually behave unseemly because they are broken, sad, angry, confused, and lost.
You can introduce them to therapists or counselors, lead them to support groups that are beneficial to them, do things that will lighten their mood, be supportive, and make them feel they are not alone.
It may be a bit hard to get them to seek help, as they may think you are judging them, but you have to be very patient with them, and eventually, they will see your good intentions.
If you stick around long enough, you will realize behind their hard interior, they are actually good people.