At first, it’s annoying.
Then, it’s frustrating.
And before you know it, these “little things” turn into marital crises.
When it comes to marriage, no one knows it all.
Heck! No one knows even half of it.
But you can learn from people’s experiences and your past mistakes and choose to do better.
Sometimes, the things that put marriages in a compromised position are not the big or serious issues.
It’s sometimes the absurd and seemingly little things that one or both of the partners do.
For instance, a husband who keeps leaving wet towels on the bed like it’s part of the home’s decor may not think he’s doing anything major that can ruin his marriage.
But he just might be.
In this post, we’re going deep into the interestingly weird ways many husbands unknowingly destroy their own marriages.
From the innocent habits to the more serious mistakes, we’re not leaving anything out.
So sit tight and get ready for a new world of knowledge that may save your marriage.
10 Weird Ways Husbands Sabotage Their Own Marriages
1. Weaponizing incompetence
I never fail to talk about weaponizing incompetence whenever I get the opportunity to because it’s been so normalized, yet it’s killing many marriages.
According to Care.com, “Weaponized incompetence is a form of passive-aggressive behavior where an individual deliberately performs tasks poorly or pretends to be incapable of completing certain tasks. This manipulation tactic is often used to avoid responsibility, forcing others to take over and perform the task instead.”
Many men do this but have no idea how awful it is.
I once heard a woman at my gym boot camp complain about how terrible her husband was at doing basic household chores.
Even something as basic as putting his dirty socks in the laundry basket or looking after their kids.
He has gotten so bad that he sometimes leaves his socks in the freezer.
I thought I was dreaming when I heard her say that, but I wasn’t.
It started innocently: a sock on the couch, then on the bed in the bedroom.
The next thing she knew, her husband left socks in the freezer.
At that point, she complained bitterly, wondering if he was trying to start a new fashion trend or just secretly hated her.
When she asked him why, guess his answer; “Oh, I forgot.”
The sheer ridiculousness.
Some men do weird things, like intentionally fumbling at basic house chores or handling their kids poorly, just so their wives get frustrated and do it by themselves.
It’s like they’re intentionally plotting against their wives’ sanity, and they do not realize how much they’re jeopardizing their marriage by doing this.
2. Keeping score of who does more
Marriage isn’t a competition, but some husbands seem to think it is.
They keep a mental tab of how much work their wife does versus what they do.
Especially in situations where the man is the sole provider or earns more than the woman.
What makes this bizarre is the fact that many myopic men fail to recognize the unique contributions their wives bring.
They restrict their minds to just one dimension of usefulness in the marriage and give themselves a crown they don’t deserve.
3. Providing solutions when all she needs is a listening ear
Sometimes, all a wife needs is someone to listen.
She doesn’t need to hear a dissertation on the seven ways you think she could have done things better.
Or the five possible solutions you have for her going forward.
Women sometimes just need a listening ear and a little comforting “That sucks babe, but I’m here for you.”
However, some husbands would rather immediately jump into “fix it” mode, offering solutions to a problem that might not even need fixing.
They end up leaving their wives standing there, not feeling heard at all, but more like a client in a therapy session she never asked for.
If your wife is venting, just listen!
You don’t need to solve everything.
Sometimes, the best solution is to be present and attentive.
Being too logical as a man is not always the way to go, especially with your wife.
4. Allowing intruders
It’s always strange seeing a husband who lets his friends or family take over the affairs of his home.
He might have a clear conscience and innocent intentions, but that doesn’t make it okay.
Allowing third parties to influence the decisions in his home, especially negatively, sets his marriage up for failure.
Every wife wants to know that her husband upholds their privacy as a family and makes it number one.
He doesn’t let just anyone have a say in his marriage or talk to his wife anyhow.
This shows that he respects her, and it strengthens their marriage.
5. Forgetting important dates
This one is an ongoing battle that has existed as far back as time itself.
Husbands forget dates, anniversaries, special events, and even their wives’ birthdays.
I’m sure that no one wants to be that guy—the one who forgets the anniversary and his wife’s birthday.
However, somehow, many husbands still manage to mess this one up.
But c’mon, I mean, it’s the twenty-first century already; life has literally been made easy.
With mobile phone reminders, you don’t have to keep a million dates in your head anymore.
Gentlemen, here’s a pro tip: write it down, set at least ten reminders, and even mark it on the calendar.
You won’t regret it, and your wife definitely won’t forget it.
6. Throwing blames
Some husbands are masters at throwing blame and not taking responsibility.
But they don’t know that this is the ultimate marriage-sabotage move.
Never admitting when you’re wrong and having an “I didn’t do anything wrong” mindset is a good way to perish your marriage.
Another interesting side to this is always blaming your wife or telling her, “I told you so,” even when you didn’t.
Using those words after your wife has made a genuine mistake (and clearly learned from it) is like pouring salt into a wound.
It’s still the “I’m always right, and you should have listened to me” mentality.
7. Condemning her cooking, especially when they can’t cook
Some husbands take their wives for granted in many ways, and this is one of them.
Criticizing your wife’s cooking can be a slippery slope, especially when your own skills in the kitchen are limited to microwaving leftovers and ordering takeout.
Being a food critic is so easy and convenient when you don’t lift a finger in the kitchen.
Some husbands are too blind to realize that the food they’re condemning might be the result of a long day at work, screaming kids, or a tight schedule.
Men need to understand that overlooking their wives’ contribution to the home and failing to appreciate her is them taking her for granted and will only make their marriage a terrible one.
It’ll make the wife feel invisible, and resentment will start to build.
8. Talking over her
While some women enjoy a good debate, it can be frustrating when they get constantly talked over by their husbands during a conversation.
What’s odd about this is how men like this think they always know what the wives want to say.
Not only is this rude, but it’ll also make the woman feel unheard.
Women are delicate beings who want to be cherished and respected, especially by the man who means the most to them.
Husbands need to learn to respect their wives’ turn to speak.
Let her finish her thoughts and listen to what she has to say; it’ll improve your communication and save you from unnecessary arguments.
9. Underestimating her need for affection
This one is more common than many people realize.
Many husbands get caught up in the routine of life, forgetting that affection isn’t just reserved for special occasions or when they’re in the mood.
They go days without showing some warmth and romance to their wives, and they think all is well.
The funny part is that their wives may have been dropping hints for weeks that they missed the spontaneous hugs and kisses they used to share.
But Mr. Husband is wrapped up in work, family, and Netflix, assuming that marriage means she no longer needs those small gestures.
10. Assuming she doesn’t want a night out
Getting married doesn’t automatically bury a person’s social needs.
Sometimes, husbands assume their wives would rather stay home than go out for a date night or hang out with their friends.
Marriage is about sharing everything, including emotions, responsibilities, and even social life.
Sometimes, husbands unknowingly ignore their wives’ need for social interaction, assuming they’re fine staying in.
This is not always true.
Sometimes, she wants to go out with you, with her friends, or alone.
That might be what recharges her batteries, just like your solo time with the guys.
11. “Accidentally” eating all the snacks
This might look like a simple thing that shouldn’t mean much, but that’s what makes the whole thing weird.
It seems simple, but it can cause serious damage.
You bought that pack of cookies as a special treat for your wife; maybe she had a hard day, or maybe it was just because.
And before you know it, you’re down to the last cookie, crumbs all over your face, and a sheepish smile.
You do this over and over and think an apology will fix it, but it won’t.
It’s beyond the snacks; it says something deeper.
It can be a sign that you don’t respect her much, that you lack self-control, or have narcissistic tendencies.
Marriage is meant to be a beautiful union, so when one partner unknowingly becomes the other’s worst enemy, the foundation of the marriage is rattled.
Handling situations like this requires a lot of patience. These weird ways might seem like little hiccups, but if not checked, they can build up over time and lead to bigger issues.
The key is recognizing these habits before they snowball and taking action to change them.
A little love, attention, and self-awareness can go a long way in saving your marriage from self-sabotage.
To be forewarned is to be forearmed.