I will be the first to tell you that I had so many myths about women and physical intimacy.
Not only did I believe some of these lies, but I also parroted them.
The funny thing is that even when I started having some personal experiences, I still held on to these age-long beliefs.
I mean, who can blame me?
Old habits die hard.
Needless to say, my feelings and experiences confused me.
But to save myself, I concluded I was an outlier.
After all, there are exceptions to every rule, so I must have been the exception.
Thankfully, I found a group of women who weren’t afraid to talk about these things that didn’t seem to be permitted for women to talk about.
That was when I discovered that I wasn’t an exception; most of them were just myths.
Or, more accurately, it’s not the same for everyone.
Anyway, before I bore you with stories you didn’t come here to read, this new-found knowledge led me to do more study on the woman’s body and sexuality.
I will share the things I found:
8 Myths About Women And Physical Intimacy
1. Women Don’t Think About Sex As Much As Men Do.
I love how people like to think women are saints when it is simply societal conditioning and perception.
Believe it or not, women think about sex too, maybe even as much as men.
The idea that men are always consumed by sexual thoughts while women are too busy dreaming about romance is just wrong.
Of course, this is not true for all women and even men, but plenty of women have active, healthy, and even high sex drives.
The difference is that society encourages men to talk about their desires, while women are often shamed for it.
Therefore, women are often quiet about their thoughts.
But trust me, women can and do have sexual fantasies, desires, and spontaneous thoughts about intimacy just as much as men do.
They just might not announce it to the world because they are shamed for it.
2. Women Only Enjoy Sex For Emotional Connection.
Sure, emotional intimacy can make sex even better.
And yes, when a woman is in love, physical intimacy might mean more to her when there is also an emotional connection.
But does that mean women only enjoy sex for the emotional bond?
I would be lying to you if I told you that was true.
Understand that the emphasis here is only because, like I said, women can enjoy it for the emotional bond.
However, they can also crave intimacy purely for physical pleasure – just like men do.
They also do it to relieve stress, out of curiosity, or just to have fun.
Like men, some women enjoy casual sex, some prioritize emotional connection, and others fall somewhere in between.
Basically, what I’m saying is that every woman is different, and assuming they all experience intimacy the same way is a huge mistake.
3. If A Woman Loves You, She’ll Always Be In The Mood.
Love and libido are very different things.
Although love may influence pleasure beyond just the physical, it doesn’t mean a woman is always ready to jump into bed with her partner because she adores him.
Many other things affect a woman’s readiness for physical intimacy.
For example, if you are stressed or exhausted, sex will likely be the last thing on your mind.
So also, hormones can affect someone’s libido, including women.
No matter how much such a woman loves her man, if her hormones cause a reduction in her libido, she might not be as interested in intimacy.
She might do it because she loves him and wants to satisfy him, but that doesn’t mean she is in the mood.
A woman’s love for her partner doesn’t automatically override everything else going on in her mind and body.
If she is happy, she might be more interested, and if she is stressed, she might lose interest, but that doesn’t mean she loves her man any less.
So, instead of assuming she’s lost interest, have a conversation with her.
4. Women Don’t Enjoy Casual Sex.
If you had asked me this some years ago, I would have sworn that it was true.
This is the biggest myth peddled around, especially by men who want the privilege of cheating but cannot take what they dish.
You may have heard things like, “Men can love their wives and still cheat on her. When women do it, it’s because she has feelings for the person.”
As much as we might want it to be true, it isn’t.
The actual truth is that some women love casual sex, and some don’t.
Unlike what many people believe, it’s not a gender thing; it’s a preference thing.
The only reason the myth persists is because society tends to shame women for enjoying no-strings-attached intimacy while praising men for it.
But plenty of women enjoy sex for the fun, thrill, or pleasure of it without needing deep emotional attachment.
5. Women Can Only Orgasm Through Vaginal Sex.
I believe this is one of those myths that has caused unnecessary frustration for both men and women.
Here are people trying to satisfy each other, but they can’t seem to get the woman to get there because they think it only happens through penetration.
I also didn’t know this was a thing until I heard a woman say she could orgasm from breast stimulation alone.
If you are just hearing this for the first time, you must be as surprised as I was when I first heard it.
But she is actually not the exception.
Most women don’t orgasm from penetration alone.
According to a study that sampled a thousand plus women in the United States, only about eighteen percent reported that intercourse was sufficient for orgasm.
Sure, some women can orgasm from penetration, but for most, they need external stimulation to get there.
That’s why men must encourage communication during intercourse and also take time to understand their woman’s body.
6. Sex Drive Increases During Pregnancy.
Another myth I believed.
I know, but don’t judge me, though.
Let me share a funny tidbit.
Because I believed this myth, anytime there was a pregnant character in a movie, and I didn’t see them turn into sex machines, I was always miffed because I felt they didn’t accurately depict the reality of pregnancy.
I honestly can’t believe how silly I was.
Thankfully, I know better now.
And what’s factual is that it depends on the woman in question.
Some women experience a higher sex drive during pregnancy due to hormonal changes, increased blood flow, and heightened sensitivity.
Some others may feel the exact opposite.
If you are feeling nauseous, fatigued, and have general discomfort, I bet sex will be the last thing on your mind.
So there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this.
7. Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage Or Kids.
This myth is so ridiculous; whoever started it needs to be persecuted.
I’m kidding, but still…
Why would anyone think marriage or motherhood automatically has anything to do with a woman’s sex drive?
That’s absolutely untrue.
Rather, what happens is that marriage and motherhood can be stressful and exhausting.
Naturally, that can shift a woman’s priority from her sexuality, but that doesn’t mean women stop wanting intimacy.
If you have so much to do in a day and can hardly find time to breathe, intimacy might be on the back burner because you don’t have the time or strength for it.
It doesn’t mean you no longer want it.
If she has a supportive husband and more help, you might be surprised that she will get her groove back.
In fact, many women rediscover their sexuality in new ways after marriage or childbirth.
So, NO… marriage and motherhood in itself doesn’t affect libido, but the things that happen in it can.
8. Women’s Sexual Peak Is In Their 30s And 40s.
You’ve probably heard that men hit their sexual peak in their late teens, while women supposedly reach theirs in their 30s or 40s.
There is no such thing.
Sexual peak isn’t determined by age – not in this context.
The only context where age matters is the natural decline in libido as one becomes older.
For instance, a 30-year-old might be more interested than a 70-year-old; it is simply a natural progression in age at work.
However, in this context, women’s sexual peak is not determined by age but by confidence, experience, and personal circumstances.
While some women do feel more sexually liberated and in tune with their desires as they get older, others may have had a higher sex drive in their 20s.
Other things like hormones, lifestyle, stress levels, and relationship dynamics all come into play.
Age does not have much to do with it.