I don’t think that there’s anything that kills a marriage faster than unspoken regrets.
I mean, if anyone has a regret in their marriage, they should be forthcoming about it with their spouse.
Marriage is all about partnership and teaming up to make things work together for good.
So, when one opens up about one’s regret, they can work on and tackle it together with their spouse.
That’s how successful marriages work.
However, in a situation where one person harbors regrets, hides them, and pretends all is well, it’ll be very difficult for the marriage to make any progress.
The resentment and hate in that person’s heart will keep holding them back from being productive in the marriage.
Then again, this is why I am an advocate for couples being sensitive and aware to detect any changes in their spouse’s behavior.
No matter how good someone is at hiding how they feel, they’re bound to slip up one day, either in actions or in words.
Something will sell them out, and if you’re observant enough, you’ll quickly catch on and follow through to know why they harbor such feelings for you.
In this article, we’ll be looking at the signs your husband secretly wishes he never married you.
The tips here will let you know what to look out for, and help you know what you’ll do in your situation.
6 Signs Your Husband Secretly Wishes He Never Married You
1. He becomes passive-aggressive
Passive aggression comes about as a result of pent-up emotions.
A man is harboring a lot of negative emotions for his wife without ever opening up and talking about them.
These emotions will keep piling up inside him till they start looking for an outlet and that’s when he starts acting up.
He’ll snap at her at every little thing, and overreact at every slightest provocation.
In this case, such a man secretly wishes that he never married his wife, and that’s the root of his anger and unhappiness.
No matter how hard he tries to hide these negative emotions, they’ll find a way to show up.
That man is not saying anything specific that his wife did to him, but it’s clear that he’s not happy with her.
He’s showing it both in his words and actions that all is not well between them, although she has no idea what the problem is.
2. He becomes secretive
When a man starts keeping secrets from his wife, it’s a sign of a problem in the marriage.
It’s possible that he secretly wishes he had never married her.
Due to the fact that he considers the marriage a mistake, he’ll likely start to plan his exit his marriage and he’ll be covert with his moves.
He’ll start hiding things such as his whereabouts, who he’s meeting with, his financial details, and other important things that shouldn’t be a secret between couples.
For instance, if he’s meeting with a divorce lawyer for advice or to draw up divorce papers for him subsequently, he’ll keep it away from his wife.
He’ll tell lies when she asks of his whereabouts too.
Such a man will start putting plans in place for when he makes his move.
He’ll likely buy or rent a house, and furnish it for when he moves out of their shared house.
Of course, his wife will be in the dark about it.
He’s starting life all over without her in the picture.
He won’t want her to know about it till his plans are perfected.
3. He doesn’t talk about plans for the future
Having tasted both single and married lifestyles, I can tell you from the point of view of a married person that married people plan way more than single people.
Ha!
There’s always something to plan about once you get married — birthdays, anniversaries, moving to a new house, job, or country, kids, how to budget for bills, vacations, etc.
The list is endless and it’ll seem as if marriage automatically comes with planning.
It truly does, because everything in marriage should be planned to achieve maximum success, fulfilment and satisfaction.
If you don’t plan for the necessary things (which is almost everything by the way), you’re setting yourself up for colossal failure and unhappiness in the marriage.
A man who secretly wishes he had never married his wife will stop making plans for the future.
He might sit through the discussions with his wife doing most of the talking.
But she’ll discover that he’s no longer as excited as he used to be whenever talks about these plans come up.
He might resort to only making the financial contributions when it gets to the point of executing these plans but that’s all she’ll be getting from him.
For instance, he’ll provide the money for the children’s school fees, house rent, utility bills, etc. but he’ll stop talking about them.
Just give him the bills and he’ll pay.
He’s acting this way because deep down, he already wishes he never married his wife.
Consequently, nothing about the marriage interests him any more.
You won’t be wrong to say that he has mentally and emotionally checked out of the marriage.
4. He makes no move for intimacy
Except in an emergency or when things are very bad, I’ve never seen a man who doesn’t enjoy being intimate with his wife.
Men enjoy being intimate with their wives a whole lot.
By intimacy, I’m not just referring to only sex.
There are non-sexual ways couples can be intimate and it includes spending time together, having physical body contact with each other, exchanging love notes, reassuring each other of their love, among others.
One of the signs your husband secretly wishes he never married you is that he stops making the move for intimacy with you.
Before now, he used to be all over you and acting all mushy with you.
He can’t pass you without giving you a hug, kiss or peck.
Whenever you’re both having a conversation, he likes to hold your hands and play with your fingers while staring into your eyes.
He loves to cuddle you whenever you’re in bed.
Lately, he has switched off from being this way with you.
But it’s not just about stopping doing these things.
It’s about his body language, which is why I lay emphasis on being sensitive, aware, and observant around your spouse.
If you study him well, you’ll notice that he’s disconnected from you emotionally.
He might indulge you when you initiate contact but it’s so that you won’t sense that all is not well with him.
Also, he might also stop initiating sexual intimacy with you but he may not turn you down whenever you want to have sex.
However, you’ll notice that there’s a great difference between then and now.
The genuine love and warmth will be missing from your interactions.
Although he pretends like all is well, if you’re observant, you’ll know that he’s just putting up a front.
5. He avoids conflicts
If your husband starts avoiding conflicts, it’s one of the signs that something is wrong in your marriage.
Conflicts are not really as bad as they seem.
They come up from time to time in every marriage because the two people who are involved have different backgrounds and mindsets.
Reaching a middle ground and resolving these conflicts with love and understanding is paramount.
It shows that the couple care about and are willing to accommodate each other despite their differences.
However, when someone avoids conflicts, it’s highly likely that they don’t care about their partner anymore.
In this case, your husband will avoid conflicts and let you have your way whenever it tries to be a problem.
He secretly wishes he never married you and has checked out of the marriage.
Therefore, he sees no need to fight with you over anything as it’ll be a waste of his time.
6. He blurts it out
If your husband ever blurts out that he wishes he never married you, please take him seriously.
It had been living rent-free in his head and mind long before it made its way down to his mouth.
Sometimes, he won’t even know when he says it, or he may not be able to stop himself from saying it due to the circumstances surrounding you as a couple.
For instance, if you both never seem to see eye-to-eye on most topics, which leads to constant heated arguments and fights, on one of such occasions, he might be pushed by frustration to tell you outrightly that he wishes he never married you.
It might come as a rude shock to you and he might feel bad for saying it openly to you despite harboring it in his heart for long.
He might apologize for ever saying such, but I’ll advise you not to take it sitting down.
He only apologized because he said it to your hearing.
Most times, people say the things they’ve had in mind all along.
So, do not be fooled by his apologies.
He has been regretting getting married to you for long, even though it’s a secret.