Marriage is one institution that you might regret not preparing for.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to bash the institution; I have a happy marriage, and I know many who do.
I have no reason to speak against marriage.
So, this is not about that.
I, however, also have to let you know the reality of things because marriage is quite literally the joining together of two souls into one.
It is a union of two souls with different personalities who are from different backgrounds.
Therefore, survival is heavily dependent on how prepared you are.
That’s why as a single woman who wants to get married someday, or even one who is preparing for her wedding, there are certain things you need to do before saying your vows.
These things will prepare you, but they will also put you in the right mental state for when you finally get married.
If you are ready, let’s look at those things.
10 Things Every Single Woman Should Do Before Marriage
1. Get To Know Yourself
You might be wondering why this is even on the list, but you’d be surprised about the number of people who don’t know enough about themselves.
They think they do, but spending time with them will show you they lack self-awareness.
Now, bear in mind that self-awareness does not mean you have to be perfect before getting married; it only means you need to know yourself to a reasonable extent.
I say reasonable because you really cannot know everything about yourself at any stage in life.
Life has a way of exposing different latent traits that we have.
Marriage, in particular, is a master of exposing us to us.
However, you should still have a good idea who you are before you link your life with someone else’s.
You need to know what makes you tick, what brings you joy, and what stresses you out.
Spend time understanding your personality, emotional needs, love languages, and quirks.
The reason this is important is that it’s easy to lose yourself in a relationship when you’ve never found yourself.
But the more you know and love yourself, the less likely you’ll settle for less than you deserve or expect your future partner to complete you.
So, get grounded in your identity now before sealing your future with someone else’s.
2. Know Your Values
Knowing yourself is quite similar to this, but because of how crucial value-system is in marriage, it needs to be a standalone.
Your values are the core beliefs that guide your decisions, relationships, and lifestyle.
Do you value faith, family, ambition, honesty, or independence?
Do you want children, and do you want a traditional family or not?
These are things you need to know so you can choose a partner who aligns with them, not just someone you are attracted to.
This is because when values clash, even the strongest chemistry can turn sour.
The best spouse is one you are attracted to and who also aligns with your values.
A good way to do this is to write your top five values down.
Then, be honest about what’s non-negotiable for you in a future marriage.
This clarity will save you from a lot of confusion and heartache down the road.
3. Identify What You Want And Don’t Want In Marriage
It’s not enough to dream about wedding dresses and cute couple goals; you need to define what kind of marriage you want.
Do you want a traditional setup or something more modern?
Kids or no kids?
A joint bank account or separate finances?
Also, what are your absolute no’s and your yes!?
The clearer you are about what works for you and what doesn’t, the easier it’ll be to recognize red flags and green lights when dating.
For instance, if you are not comfortable being a stay-at-home wife or you want a setup where you both work and contribute financially and domestically to the household, you may not be a good match for a traditional man.
The fact that you know what you want makes it easy to sift through men when dating.
4. Live Alone
Before I got married, this was something I fought to do because I am from a society where women don’t leave home until after marriage.
But I knew I couldn’t jump from one setting where I wasn’t totally independent to another.
It’s not that I hate accountability; however, I wanted to have the freedom to not be answerable to anyone, while also having the chance to be responsible for myself and my decisions.
Prior to that time, I was already working, but I hadn’t learnt budgeting because I was living at home where everything was taken care of.
I didn’t want to wait until marriage to learn that.
And I am glad I didn’t.
I learned a lot about myself during that period and acquired many skills I didn’t know how to do, such as managing money, sorting bills, planning meals, making decisions, and managing landlords and neighbors.
So, I am a big proponent of living alone before marriage; I believe it’s powerful.
You get to discover your rhythms, manage your own space, and grow your independence.
You also learn how to cook for yourself, budget without relying on anyone, and sit in silence without feeling lonely.
Trust me, living alone builds emotional strength and teaches you that you can do life on your own, even if you eventually choose to do it with someone.
So, I recommend it if you can.
If you can’t, make sure you learn all these in another way.
5. Enjoy Your Singleness
Singleness isn’t a waiting room; it’s a season of its own.
So, make sure to enjoy it.
Don’t spend it being gloomy, waiting to marry.
Travel, go on solo dates, laugh loudly, dance in your living room, and say yes to new adventures.
This is your time to explore life on your terms, without compromise; don’t waste it constantly wishing for a relationship.
When you fully embrace your singleness, you enter marriage from a place of fullness, not desperation.
A joyful single life is the best foundation for a joyful married life, because it means you know how to be happy no matter your relationship status.
6. Pursue Your Dreams
There is a tendency to want to wait until marriage before pursuing your dreams.
But that will be a big mistake.
Don’t wait until you’re married to go after what lights you up.
Start that business, write that book, take that course; whatever’s on your heart, chase it now.
The reason I said it will be a big mistake is because many of these dreams might be difficult to realize in marriage.
Not that it will be impossible, just that it will be more challenging because although marriage may bring support, it also brings more responsibilities, which can slow down personal ambitions.
So, build momentum while you’re single.
That way, you are not just preparing to be a wife, you’re also building a life you love.
7. Get Your Finances In Order
Money problems can cause serious tension in marriage, so you must make sure to sort out your financial habits now.
Learn how to budget, save, invest, and live within your means.
If you have debts, start working on clearing them up.
You should also work on building an emergency fund and even a retirement fund, if you can.
Another thing is to invest and get insurance.
Financial maturity isn’t so much about being rich, it’s about being responsible.
The more control you have over your money, the less likely you are to feel stuck or dependent later.
8. Read Marriage Books
Marriage is more than just mushy love and Instagram-worthy moments; it requires work, sacrifice, effective communication, and ongoing growth.
That’s why you must intentionally prepare for that work by reading books.
Reading books on marriage gives you a realistic picture of what to expect and helps you build the right mindset before you say “I do.”
You’ll learn how to handle conflict, communicate better, and understand your future spouse’s needs.
It will give you that much-needed pre-marital training.
So, don’t wait until the wedding to prepare for married life; start now.
9. Deal With Past Wounds And Traumas
Unhealed wounds have a sneaky way of resurfacing in marriage.
Therefore, you must make sure to deal with all wounds from heartbreak, family dysfunction, abandonment issues, or childhood trauma.
See a therapist if you must.
Pray, journal, reflect; do whatever to help you process your past.
Healing doesn’t have to mean you’ll be perfect, but it means you won’t bleed on someone who didn’t cut you.
So, don’t carry yesterday’s pain into tomorrow’s love story.
10. Polish Your Habits
Your daily habits become your lifestyle and eventually, your marriage routine.
So, make sure to deal with all bad habits and nurture good habits.
For instance, if you tend to procrastinate, overspend, or blow up during conflict, now’s the time to work on that.
Build discipline, practice patience, and cultivate emotional intelligence.
Trust me, these little habits make a big difference in how you show up as a partner, and even the survival of your marriage.
Plus, marriage doesn’t fix bad habits; it magnifies them.
So, use your single years to grow into the best version of yourself.