From a young age, I already knew what kind of man I wanted to get married to.
I had everything down to how he’d talk to me, how he’d look, and his personality.
I thought this was normal for every lady, but speaking with my friends informed me otherwise.
Many ladies don’t have a fixed spec when it comes to men; they just want someone nice who treats them well and spends money on them.
If you’re one of those girls, it’s very okay.
You don’t have to have a picture of your Prince Charming in your mind, you can keep your mind open to the beautiful options life brings.
However, even if you don’t know the type of man you want to marry, it is very important that you know the type of man you don’t want to marry.
Some men are the absolute worst when it comes to being partners or husbands.
Many times, it’s because they’re not great people generally, but sometimes, they are nice people.
They’re just the worst options to go for in marriage.
You may be wondering what type of men these are.
Don’t worry, I’m here to help you with that.
And you don’t have to thank me.
What are sisters for?
Winks.
12 Absolutely Worst Types Of Men To Marry
1. The bitter and misogynistic man
If you’re looking to get married, then I want to believe that you desire a happily ever after, a life void of bitterness.
If I’m right, then you need to understand that bitter men shouldn’t even be an option.
A man who has a negative disposition, who is always angry or violent, and especially so when it has to do with women, is a very bad husband candidate.
Perhaps because he’s been hurt before by his ex or another woman in his life, and he’s still holding on to the pain, he now blames women for everything wrong in society.
You know a bitter man not necessarily by how he appears and behaves, but by looking closely and detecting the toxicity hiding in his jokes and random comments.
Such a man will make a terrible husband because he’s carrying too much baggage.
Plus, they’re the kinds of men that tend to be physically abusive – and just in case you don’t already know, abusive men are the first on this list of the absolute worst types of men to marry, I just had to put that in there just in case you’re not aware.
But I digress.
I always wonder why these bitter misogynistic men who hate women still go ahead to get married and I never understand why.
Maybe they realize that even though they’re angry, they can’t do without a woman, or perhaps they’re intentionally getting married to mete out punishment for their pain on their wife.
Whichever their reason is, they’re not men any woman who loves herself should even for a second consider for marriage.
I once had an ex who was like this, he was a deeply traumatized young man but always hid his trauma under church activities.
I noticed how he was always talking about how women submit but never how men should love like Christ.
It gave me the Ick because even his scripture quotation was wrong; women were never asked to submit, wives were, and they were to do it only to their husbands.
I’m just glad I figured it out early enough because like I said, misogyny doesn’t wear a shirt that says “I hate women,” It hides in jokes, control, and superiority.
2. The insecure man
Any woman who plans to make anything meaningful out of her life should avoid this one like a plague.
Insecure men drain the life out of women.
Whether their insecurity has to do with when their woman is more successful than they are or it has to do with jealousy around the opposite sex, it’s still a bad one.
A man who gets uncomfortable when his woman is taking giant strides, making big moves, and earning a lot of money will make a bad husband.
It’s a sign that he has deeper issues to deal with; he’s not confident in himself, doesn’t love the woman as much as he claims to, and has an envy problem, and none of these issues are easy to deal with.
And it doesn’t matter how subtle it is, if it’s there, it’s there.
I’ve seen men who start as mildly insecure, but their insecurity grows over time, the more successful the woman becomes.
It gets to a point where they intentionally begin to sabotage the woman’s success, trying to halt her progress.
Similarly, men who can’t trust their woman, no matter how much she’s proven to be trustworthy, are not men to be joined in holy matrimony.
A little jealousy is normal, and even a sign that they love the woman and want her for themselves.
But when he begins to complain about every phone call, every text, and every single human in your life, he’s insecure.
3. The selfish man
For this man, everything is always about him; His dreams. His pain. His reputation.
He doesn’t think about anyone else, not even the woman he claims to love.
First of all, you’ll be well within your right to question the love such a man professes because selfishness is not a characteristic of love.
The selfish man never thinks about sacrifice or compromise, that’s too far-fetched for him.
It’s either his way or the highway.
He manipulates, guilt-trips, and gaslights you when you try to express yourself.
Simply put, he’s a narcissist.
Getting married to a narcissist is almost like self-harm because it leads to a slow erosion of your self-worth.
Your desires, preferences, and overall good will not be prioritized or even considered.
That’s a terrible man to marry.
4. The man who can’t apologize
One of the things I’m most grateful for about my husband is his ability to say “sorry.”
Seems little, but it’s beautiful.
I love it especially because I love to be accountable and take responsibility when I’m wrong, so being with a man who can’t apologize will put me in a situation where I’m constantly abused and taken advantage of.
But a combination of two people who can apologize is power.
A man who finds it difficult to apologize because he believes he’s never wrong even when he clearly is, is a red flag.
Guys like this will twist facts, deflect, or blame you just to protect their ego.
One of the common things I hear many happily married old men say in different versions is, “As a husband, you need to learn to apologize even when you’re not wrong because ‘happy wife, happy life’.”
While it might be a joke and shouldn’t promote a lack of accountability and responsibility from the wife, it does say something about the kind of attitude a husband should have: one that is humble, willing to let things go, and willing to say sorry.
A man who can’t apologize can’t grow.
And without growth, marriage breaks.
5. The mummy’s boy
Every sane person with a normal parent loves their parent.
It’s normal to cherish and appreciate your parents, especially mums since they’re the ones we’re talking about now.
Parents are cherished not only because of the boundless love they shower on us and the sacrifices they make, but also because of the guiding light they provide for us in many situations in life.
However, when you become an adult, the normal thing is to start making your own decisions.
I always find it weird when I see grown-ass men still living their lives solely by the instructions of their mums, unable to make their own decisions.
It’s weird and it shows that something is wrong.
If the mum did a great job, it should be seen in how well that man stands for what he believes in and makes his own decisions.
But sadly, we see some cases that are the reverse.
Some men are mummy’s boys, attached to the hem of their parent’s clothes and living their lives according to their dictates.
Marrying such a man is among the top three ways to become a frustrated wife and it’s not number three.
6. The irresponsible man
Growing up, I saw vividly how terrible it is to get married to an irresponsible man.
I knew many women in my immediate environment who were married to laid-back men, and I saw how much it affected the quality of their lives.
I saw that these women have to work extra hard and go above and beyond because their men had no purpose, zeal, drive, or direction.
It’s a terrible situation to be in.
Men who have no vision and are okay with coasting, complaining, and blaming the world are the absolute worst.
This irresponsibility, of course, reflects in their finances too.
They’re always broke but never broke enough to stop spending.
They have no savings, no financial goals, and no discipline.
Any woman who values her sanity and well-being needs to avoid lazy men with all her strength, no matter how she feels about them. Love may be free, but building a home takes a lot of intentionality, wisdom, and stewardship.
A man without a vision will frustrate your purpose, make you take on more than you should, and stunt your growth.
7. The nonchalant man
Nonchalant men are the absolute worst.
I know I’ve said this about most of the men I talked about above, but that just shows you that all of these men are truly terrible options; I can’t even decide which of them takes the crown.
Nonchalant men are irritants.
The irony is that they irritate you without even trying.
They’re indifferent and careless, barely showing any concern or seriousness.
He’ll end up being the kind of husband who doesn’t remember important things about you, doesn’t take care of you emotionally, materially, and financially, and doesn’t care.
Or the kind of father who forgets to pick up his kids from school and shows no remorse.
And if you’re the spiritual type as a lady, you want to avoid the spiritually passive man.
He has no spiritual direction, no hunger for God, and no desire to lead.
You’re always dragging him along spiritually.
If he’s not pursuing God now, don’t expect him to become a spiritual leader later.
This applies to every other area in his life.
8. The single man
Trying to get married to a single man is like trying to force a janitor to become a doctor by force.
Does that make sense?
No.
And when I talk about singleness and marriage in this context, I’m referring to mindset.
Some men are single in their minds and unwilling to change anything about it, they want to remain that way.
One of the ways to detect such men is their emotional unavailability.
You may notice that he shuts down instead of opening up. You never really know what he’s thinking or feeling, and he likes it that way.
Another thing you may notice is that he always thinks independently, never factoring in a wife or possibly kids someday.
Marriage without a united thinking and emotional connection is lonely and exhausting.
9. The liar
Have you met men who lie?
I mean chronic unprovoked liars.
If you have, then you won’t even need me to say much.
Chronic liars lie about small things, big things, and unnecessary things.
You may catch him often, but he always has an excuse.
How do you build a life with such a person?
Trust is like the oxygen of marriage.
Without it, love suffocates.
And you can’t trust someone who when he says “Good morning”, you have to look out to confirm.
10. The cheat
The truth is that some infidelity cases in marriage happen because one person made a mistake or “fell” not because it was intentional.
But that’s a minority of cases.
In most of the cases, the cheating didn’t just start.
The man must have had wandering eyes before they got married, or probably was a serial flirt or cheat.
Still, the woman chose to ignore him, or thought wearing a wedding suit would make his cheating behavior magically go away.
Of course, after getting married, they see the folly in those assumptions.
A man who is a serial flirt or a secret cheater will make you a sad wife.
He can’t be faithful in conversations, DMs, or friendships, but you expect him to be a faithful husband.
How?
11. The addict
Everybody has issues.
Nobody is perfect or completely thoroughly furnished, we all have areas of improvement.
However, some issues are beyond ordinary and not easy to deal with.
One such issue is addiction.
The addicted man who is unwilling to seek help is a disaster waiting to happen.
Whether it’s porn, alcohol, drugs, gambling, or even social media, if he’s not actively trying to break free, then he’ll continually be controlled by these things.
And if that’s his situation, then that’s what he should focus on dealing with, not getting someone to be married to.
I must mention that men who promise to stop, but never get help or become accountable are red flags too.
It’s okay to be there for him and support him but a whole marriage?
No.
At least not yet.
Love can support, but it can’t save someone who refuses healing.
12. The controlling man
Mr. Controller.
He dictates how you dress, who you talk to, and what you post.
He disguises control as protection or love but it’s really fear and insecurity.
Trust me, you don’t want to sign that man into becoming your husband.
A man who tries to control you doesn’t respect you.
You’ll see more signs like him dismissing, mocking, or shaming you.
One thing I always tell ladies is that when it comes to choosing a husband, respect is non-negotiable.
Don’t marry a man who hates you and doesn’t regard you.
At the very least, he’ll attempt to stifle you, but it could be worse; he can get aggressive, manipulative, and even abusive.
Love gives freedom; control builds cages and you don’t want that.
A man who tries to control you doesn’t respect you and lack of respect can kill love.
If he can’t respect you and your relationship publicly and privately, he’s not husband material.
The thing about these men mentioned is that they aren’t categorized based on superficial traits, but on patterns of character, behavior, and mindset.
These mindsets can destroy peace, unity, and partnership in marriage.
They are red flags that no amount of love, prayer, or potential can fix if the man is unwilling to change.
I’ll always tell ladies, “Don’t marry who you’re hoping he becomes. Marry who he is right now, in character, convictions, and consistency.”
It’s better to wait alone than to rush into a marriage that slowly destroys your peace, sanity, and identity.