When people get married, it is with the intent that the marriage is forever.
Nobody gets married, planning that it won’t last.
But the thing about marriage is that simply wishing doesn’t create a happy and long-lasting home.
If you want a healthy marriage that stands the test of time, you need to put in the work.
Therefore, smart wives who don’t want to lose their marriage don’t make certain mistakes because they know how dangerous those things are to the health of their marriage.
This post highlights the costly mistakes wives make that cost them their marriage.
So you can avoid them and have the marriage of your dreams, as I believe you want to.
6 Costly Mistakes Wives Make That Cost Them Their Wives
1. Lack Of Intimacy
Married couples tend to fall into this trap of not having time for each other because of the different legitimate things in life.
Do you see how I admit that they are legitimate?
That’s because they are indeed legit.
After all, you must tend to the kids, work, and pursue your passions and dreams.
However, the trick is to find a way to do all these things and not neglect your friendship with your husband.
Yes, it’s challenging, but it’s important to sit down with your spouse – if needed – to agree on making time for each other.
You must not lose your friendship.
You should have times when you two catch up, discuss issues, and enjoy each other.
Many women also neglect the aspect of physical intimacy, which is sometimes understandable given the number of things they have to do.
Honestly, who can blame a woman for falling asleep immediately after she lays on the bed after all she had to deal with during the day?
However, if sex is completely done away with in marriage, it can cause havoc – the worst of which is infidelity.
Now, I know you are thinking a man should not immediately resort to cheating because he is not getting some at home.
I agree.
But let me say it’s better that we keep ourselves from fire than test ourselves with it.
So, wives should help by ensuring he is not missing out on that area.
The tiredness problem can be solved by communicating with the husband that she needs help with domestic work if he’s not hands-on.
A reasonable husband will adjust once he hears that.
Also, she can look into outsourcing tasks so she isn’t overwhelmed.
2. Constantly Criticizing Their Husbands
Another thing most women are guilty of is criticizing their husbands for every little thing.
At the risk of sounding stereotypical, many men are not as domesticated and organized as women.
So, it is expected that she will probably already know how to keep and nurture the home while the man might enjoy the chaos.
In such a situation, I understand how frustrating it can be when your husband doesn’t know how to do the most basic things, like returning his shoes to the shoe rack.
Despite all these, constantly criticizing or belittling your husband does no good for your marriage.
Nobody wants to feel like they’re never good enough, especially in their own home.
If you constantly point out what he’s doing wrong, it can damage his self-esteem.
Over time, it can push him away emotionally.
He might stop sharing things with you because he fears judgment.
It can even lead to losing connection, where he starts looking for validation elsewhere.
Like I said, I understand how frustrating it can get when he misses something you expect him to get and you are already stressed from everything else, but turning every little issue into a critique isn’t healthy.
Instead, try to approach things with kindness and focus on the positive.
Encourage him in the areas he does well and give him room to improve gradually in the areas he is weak.
3. Lack Of Effective Communication
Anytime the subject of marriage or relationship comes up, you will be hard-pressed not to find communication on the list.
It is almost becoming a cliche, but things are cliches for a reason – they are true.
Therefore, it needs to be repeated that a lack of effective communication can cost a marriage.
Another aspect of communication is that every couple – or at least a lot of couples – talk, but communication is more than just asking each other to pay the bills or what to eat for dinner.
It includes it, but communication is more about sharing your thoughts and things that matter to you.
It’s easy to assume your partner understands what you’re feeling or thinking, but misunderstandings and resentment can build up without open communication.
You miss out on a real connection when you stop talking or only share surface-level conversations.
You must talk about everything and never jump to conclusions without getting clarification.
When you see something that could cause an issue, ask your spouse about it and give them an opportunity to explain.
You should also be transparent and give information without being asked.
These are the ways to avoid misunderstandings that build resentment over time.
Don’t avoid tough conversations because you don’t want conflict or because you may be so caught up in your own thoughts that you forget to share them.
Bottling things up doesn’t make problems disappear; it just makes them harder to solve later.
On the flip side, poor communication can also mean lashing out in anger without really addressing the root of the issue.
It’s important to talk openly and listen actively, even when the topic is uncomfortable.
Clear, honest communication builds trust and keeps both of you on the same page, avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings and helping your marriage stay solid.
4. Letting Themselves Go
Neglecting your physical appearance or hygiene might not seem like a big deal, but it can negatively impact your marriage.
Life gets busy, I know.
Between work, kids, and everything else, it’s easy to slip into a routine where you throw on ugly but comfy clothes and skip the makeup (or even a shower) just to get through the day.
But if you stop making the effort, it can send the message that you’re no longer invested in your relationship.
Yes, attraction is more than just physical, and I want to believe your husband is in love with your heart, too.
However, physical appearance does play a role in how your husband sees you.
Men are moved by what they see.
Plus, your husband wants to feel proud of you, just as you want to feel attractive and desirable.
So, taking the time to care for yourself shows you value yourself and the relationship.
Try to maintain a regular self-care routine and dress up regularly to impress your husband.
It doesn’t have to be perfect, but a little effort goes a long way.
5. Refusing To Compromise
Marriages need compromise to survive.
This is because you and your husband are different people and will sometimes see the world differently.
Of course, you should agree about essential things, which should be settled before marriage.
But you wouldn’t agree about everything – even twins who shared a womb don’t.
So, you must both be ready to compromise to accommodate the differing views.
Refusing to do so and always needing to be right can create a rift in your home.
If you dig your heels in every time a disagreement arises, your husband may feel that his feelings and perspectives don’t matter.
A healthy marriage requires teamwork and finding common ground.
Be willing to listen and consider his point of view – even if you don’t completely agree – to show respect.
Instead of always insisting, let some things go if they don’t matter that much, and if they do, talk it through with him respectfully until you both find a solution that works for both of you.
6. Ingratitude
Someone I know once told a story about how her husband cooked for her when she was pregnant because she couldn’t stomach cooking.
However, her husband isn’t the best cook, so she always complained about how the food turned out.
An older colleague heard her at work one day and berated her, telling her she was one of the lucky few who had a man willing to cook despite being bad at it.
Hearing that woman changed her perspective, and she started appreciating his effort instead of criticizing it.
Many women can relate to this woman with the way they focus on the imperfection of a deed instead of the effort that was put into it.
The problem with this is that he will soon get discouraged and stop completely.
Even if he’s not getting what you want him to get right, be grateful for those he does, no matter how little.
Thank him for throwing the thrash, cooking the salty dinner, and paying the bills, and you will see that he is encouraged to do more.
It will show him that you see and value him.
So, make it a habit to express your gratitude regularly, and you’ll likely notice a positive shift in your relationship.
Long-lasting marriages don’t just happen; they require work.
So, if you want to keep your home, consider avoiding these costly mistakes wives make that cost them their marriage.