As a girl, one of the greatest weapons you can have in your arsenal is the ability to detect time wasters.
You do yourself a world of good when you can tell that a guy is just here to waste your time and when you can figure it out on time, too.
No matter how handsome he looks or how smooth his lines are, you can see beyond the deceit.
This ability will make you a superwoman.
However, if you don’t have this skill naturally, you can learn it because even though guys like this like to think that they’re smooth, they have loopholes.
No matter how good he is at his game, he’s bound to leave a trail of clues, including mixed signals, inconsistencies, and confusion.
When you see these things, just know that he’s a player.
If A Guy Does These 7 Things He’s Playing With Your Heart
1. His words and actions don’t match
The classical sign that this guy is just here to while away time is that he says one thing but does the opposite.
Time-wasting guys are usually smooth with their words.
He tells you, “You mean so much to me,” but he acts like he doesn’t care if you’re around or not.
He makes promises, but they evaporate like mist.
He claims he loves you, but he won’t commit.
Permit me to sit on this one for a bit.
Almost every girl has met a guy who claims to like her and enjoy her company yet for some reason, won’t ask her out or commit.
He’s a situationship guy, sweeping you off your feet with sweet words but never taking any actions to back them up.
A man who means what he says proves it with his actions.
If you keep having to decode what he really feels, he’s likely just stringing you along.
When a man truly loves you, he cares about you and everything that concerns you.
You see it in how he acts around you, takes care of you, and commits to you.
But when a guy is just playing, he’ll be all talk and no action.
2. Goes on and off with you
If I had a dollar for every young lady who contacted me to complain about a guy in her life being inconsistent, let’s just say that I’d have a lot of dollars.
The part that I find more painful is the fact that these ladies are usually in a state of confusion; they’re wondering if he likes them or not.
They try to create excuses for the guys’ on-and-off behavior bringing up different possible reasons but I can see what’s happening clearly; the guy is playing with their heart.
One minute, he’s all in, sending sweet texts, calling, and making the lady feel like she’s the only woman in the world.
The next?
He disappears like a WhatsApp status after twenty-four hours.
But sometimes, he doesn’t stay missing forever.
If he’s part of the special breed of players, he’ll be back.
He resurfaces when he feels like it, but when you need him emotionally, he’s either too busy or uninterested.
If he truly cares, he won’t only call you when he needs you or show up when it benefits him, he’ll always be there.
Love is consistent, not seasonal.
3. He confuses you
Another way to know a deceiver is the confusion he brings.
My best friend was once in a situationship with a guy whose actions confused the heck out of her.
I kept trying to make her see that he was a player, but love blinded her eyes.
This guy would be all over her when they’re alone, doing the most giving soft touches, calling her all the terms of endearment, and treating her like his queen.
But in public?
It was a different story entirely.
Whenever they were outside, he acted like they were just friends or acquaintances.
He never introduced her to anyone who mattered to him or posted her on his social media, and he used to post many things he liked there.
Thankfully, she eventually saw the signs for what they were and came out of that situation, but not without some level of emotional hurt.
The final straw was when she was talking with him about the future, and she noticed that he never involved her in his plans.
He could be talking about his future and say, “One day, I’ll get married and have kids,” and she’d sit there staring at him like a log of wood.
It became clear that this guy was here to play and not there for anything serious.
If a man truly values you, he won’t hide you or say things that conflict with the affection he professes.
Affection shouldn’t have a secret location.
Also, a man who sees you in his future will make it clear.
If you always feel like an option instead of a priority, you probably are.
4. Cheats on you
There’s no justification for cheating; however, we can still try to make a case for a guy who happens to cheat once for some reason but is remorseful and does better going forward.
We mentioned some possible reasons a guy who loves his woman might cheat on her in this article.
But make no mistakes, cheating, especially in a repeated and consistent fashion, is a sign that a guy is toying not only with your heart but with your head too.
When a guy commits to you through his words yet still chases after other girls, you don’t have to ask if he’s serious about you or not.
It is clear that he’s not.
Whether he comes back after each cheating episode to apologize and try to get your forgiveness or he denies, or he even admits but does not show remorse, the results are all the same.
He’s a heartbreaker who you shouldn’t take seriously because he doesn’t take you seriously.
5. You don’t feel secure in his love
Instead of feeling secure and cherished, maybe you feel anxious and unsure.
You find yourself questioning whether he really cares about you, whether you’re overthinking things, and whether you should just settle and accept what he’s offering.
No relationship that leaves you asking numerous questions and constantly mentally and emotionally exhausted is a good one.
You may not be sure of the signs you’re seeing, but you feel it inside that something is off.
Many times, girls ignore their intuition in situations like this because somewhere in their hearts, they hope that they’re wrong.
But my girlie, the reality check is that love should bring peace, not confusion.
And let me hold your hand while I say this: if you feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster, then maybe it’s time to step back and reevaluate.
That guy is playing with your feelings.
6. Makes you beg for his attention
Some guys really believe they’re all that, so they don’t do the chasing.
They see themselves as the catch, so why would the catch be chasing?
But apart from this ridiculous superiority complex, another subtle reason for their pompous action is the fact that they are not ready for anything serious with you.
If you always have to be the one initiating conversations with him, making plans, and tryouts to keep things interesting, it’s time to stop.
He might even be unappreciative of your efforts, ignoring you and leaving you on read many times.
What you’re doing is chasing him, and girls don’t chase.
I always say that if you chase a man, you’re likely going to have to keep chasing him all your life, even after he eventually becomes yours (that’s if he ever does).
You won’t have to beg for the time, attention, or effort of a man who wants you and is serious about you.
7. He gaslights you
Gaslighting is one of the most potent tactics most players use.
And what is gaslighting?
It’s simply when someone tries to manipulate you, lie to you, and invalidate your feelings even in the face of very clear proof.
A gaslighter will treat you like crap and if you protest, he’ll call you an overthinker.
Even when it’s clear that he’s the problem, he’ll find ways to convince you that it’s you.
He’ll make you feel like you’re the problem for setting basic standards.
He acts like you’re rushing things if you ask him where the relationship is headed.
Guys like this subtly make you feel like expecting respect, consistency, and love is too much to ask for.
But the simple reality is that a guy who values you will respect your standards and not make you feel guilty for having them.
He won’t leave you confused because his love will be clear, consistent, and intentional.
If you find yourself making excuses for his behavior, hoping he’ll change, or feeling like you have to prove your worth, sis, my kind advice to you is that you step back and protect your heart.
A real man won’t play games with it, but the one showing these signs clearly isn’t one.