We are all creatures of habit.
We have those characters and traits that determine our response to different situations in life.
These habits affect everything we do.
They affect our relationships and interactions with others.
Our love lives are not excluded from the list of relationships that can be affected or influenced by our habits.
Love is a wonderful experience, but truth be told, it is not always smooth sailing.
The beauty of roses doesn’t take away the fact that they have thorns.
Love is just like this.
Whether you are single and searching, in a budding romance, or safely ensconced in a long-term relationship, certain traits can transform your relationship life from ordinary to extraordinary.
Single people may be wondering how these traits help them.
Well, these qualities don’t just make you a better partner; they also make you a magnet for partners who want deep and meaningful relationships with you.
If you have ever wondered why some people seem to have it all when it comes to love while you keep attracting people who are not ready for anything serious, the answer may lie in these traits.
Cultivate them, and you may just experience a turn of fortunes in your love life.
Let’s get started.
If You Have These 8 Traits Your Love Life Will Never Be The Same
1. Emotional intelligence
It’s not just enough to claim to be in love because love alone doesn’t sustain a relationship.
Sometimes, I see teenagers trying so hard to be in relationships with people just because they love them.
Most of the time, these relationships don’t work out because the truth is that most teenagers at that age are still just beginning to come to terms with their emotions.
Even many adults still struggle with emotional intelligence.
For instance, you and your partner may be hurting at the same time.
It is emotional intelligence to acknowledge that you are hurting and they are hurting as well.
Many people lack the ability to do this.
I remember being “friends” with this really dramatic lady once.
I was in school, and I think people usually underestimate how tight school schedules can be.
She always complained when I couldn’t spend as much time with her as she wanted.
One time, I was writing exams and had a very busy timetable, and she complained about how we weren’t talking frequently.
She couldn’t just wrap her head around the fact that we were just friends, no matter how much she liked me.
Things deteriorated so much that we stopped talking.
The truth she would never know is that I was beginning to like her till I discovered how much she lacked emotional intelligence.
She was always concerned about her feelings alone, and I just thanked my stars that I hadn’t asked her out when I wanted to.
A lack of emotional intelligence can drive people away from you.
Inversely, when you have emotional intelligence, you attract people.
In relationships, it allows you to navigate conflicts with grace, offer support during tough times, and build a deep emotional connection with your partner.
If you can master this trait, you will find that your relationships become more harmonious and fulfilling.
2. Self-awareness
I remember how I used to tell my elder sister about the girls I liked when I was younger, and she would say I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet.
She was right.
The key to enjoying a successful relationship is first getting to know yourself.
After knowing yourself, it is easier to understand your partner.
Knowing who you are – your strengths, weaknesses, triggers, and desires—is the foundation of a healthy love life.
Self-awareness allows you to communicate your needs clearly, take responsibility for your actions, and show up consistently in your relationships.
Many people think they are self-aware, but the truth is they are not.
They are more aware of what other people do.
Well, this can’t continue if you want to enjoy a successful relationship.
A successful relationship is built on the ability of partners to take responsibility for their actions.
I have a friend who used to be quite oblivious to her offensive actions.
When I got tired of it all, I told her she couldn’t continue to be oblivious to other people’s feelings and her own actions.
That is no way to keep a relationship.
You should be conscious of your actions and their effect on your partner—at least, you should be conscious of the majority of your actions.
When you understand yourself, you’re better equipped to understand and connect with others.
3. Authenticity
I am a Nigerian, and we have this telltale accent when we speak English that identifies us.
I have seen people work so hard to erase any trace of the accent.
While I am not opposed to this, the silliest thing I have ever seen was when a friend traveled and spent two weeks in New York.
He returned with this fake accent, as if trying to sound American.
Actually, he only succeeded at sounding silly.
The truth is that there is nothing more attractive than someone who is unapologetically themselves.
The courage to stand out and still be unfazed by your uniqueness is a wonderful attribute to have.
Apart from the fact that it draws people to you, it also helps improve your love life.
Authenticity means showing up as your true self, flaws and all, and allowing your partner to do the same.
The truth is that no one can be perfect.
So, why do you try to be perfect?
Do you think your partner or prospective partner expects a perfect person?
If they do, they need to instantly snap out of their fantasy.
They are not perfect themselves.
While we can work on ourselves, no one is ever going to be perfect.
So, you need to let go of the need to pretend to be perfect.
A deep connection does your love life a whole world of good.
So, authenticity is just like that one good thing that brings other good things into your relationship.
4. Gratitude
Sometimes, I see posts on social media of people asking for advice about their relationships, and I wonder how they can’t see what is clearly staring right back at them.
I remember one because it is the story of many guys I know.
This guy started by mentioning that he had run into financial trouble and was living from hand to mouth, but his girlfriend’s birthday was around the corner.
He wanted to do something for her but couldn’t afford something grand.
So, he arranged a lunch date and got her a book from her favorite author.
When she turned up for lunch, she was already grumbling because she expected a big party like the one he threw for her last birthday.
To add insult to injury, he had the guts to give her a book as a gift.
She threw the book at him and stormed off.
His question was, “Should I apologize to her because I love her so much?”.
Well, I wasn’t expecting that particular question because gratitude is one thing I expect in relationships.
When it is not forthcoming, it is a deal breaker.
Gratitude is the exact opposite of taking your partner for granted.
It is how you show how much you appreciate all their efforts in the relationship.
The keyword here is “all”…
It is funny how some people think they should only appreciate grand gestures.
The truth is that you are meant to appreciate every little effort of your partner.
Even if you think it is their duty, you still need to appreciate them for doing their duty.
Appreciating your partner for little things–like how they make you laugh or how they always remember your favorite snack—helps you create a culture of positivity and mutual respect in your relationship.
The transformative power of a simple “thank you” needs to be studied seriously.
It can transform a struggling love life into a blossoming one.
5. Kindness
It is not just enough to appreciate your partner for their kind gestures.
You should also be able to reciprocate.
I was recently shocked by the realization that many people are in relationships where everything is one-sided.
They do all the work in the relationship and get little appreciation for their efforts.
They are in relationships with people who never show up for them.
If you are in that kind of relationship, you need to exit that travesty of a relationship.
Kindness is important in relationships because you can’t claim to love someone yet be unkind to them.
Kindness is not just about being a nice person.
It is about having a genuine desire to make your partner’s life better.
It is about showing up with compassion and generosity.
Small acts of kindness, like a thoughtful text or a surprise cup of coffee, can create a ripple effect of love and appreciation in your relationship.
These acts of kindness are the things that nurture love in a relationship.
Be kind, and you will discover how much your love life will be transformed.
6. Patience
Patience is important in a relationship.
If you are impatient, you can’t thrive in a relationship because love isn’t always easy.
Love can expose you to some of the most beautiful emotions and also make you feel some of the worst emotions.
Anger, sadness, jealousy, and despair are all emotions you can feel when you are in love.
A relationship is not meant to be a bed of roses.
There are times of bliss, and there are times of sadness.
You need patience to be able to navigate these periods successfully.
Whether it’s a disagreement, a period of distance, or an external challenge, patience helps you to handle relationship issues calmly and keep moving forward.
It’s this trait that turns obstacles into opportunities to grow.
7. A good sense of humor
Life is serious enough.
Your love life doesn’t always have to be serious.
You don’t need to be uptight in your relationship.
Learn to loosen up around your partner.
Smile…
Be playful.
It brings joy, laughter, and lightness to your relationships.
Whether it’s a silly inside joke, a spontaneous dance party in the kitchen, or a playful competition, this trait keeps the fun alive and reminds you not to take everything so seriously.
Life is short, so my advice is to love hard, play hard, and create memories.
For single people, a good sense of humor is totally attractive.
The fact that you smile and see the positive side of things all the time makes you more attractive.
So, smile.
Be a little spontaneous.
Have fun with friends.
Just enjoy yourself, and you may just start developing the love life that you have always imagined.
8. Commitment to Growth
People usually mistake authenticity as being yourself without attempting to grow.
Well, it’s not.
In life, development is crucial.
In our personal lives, we should be devoted to growing and improving every day.
This should also be the trend in our relationships.
The best relationships are those where both partners are committed to growing—individually and together.
This means being open to feedback, willing to work on yourself, and dedicated to nurturing the relationship.
Don’t be averse to correction or constructive criticism.
You should also not be shy to give your partner feedback, even when it feels like criticism.
Healthy relationships thrive on constructive criticism and a readiness to improve.
The truth is that when you prioritize growth, you create a love that gets better with time.
Ultimately, your love life is a reflection of who you are and how you show up in your relationship.
Cultivating the traits above will not only make you a better partner – you will also attract the kind of love you deserve.
Whether you’re single, dating, or in a long-term relationship, these qualities have the power to transform your love life in ways you never imagined.