You may have heard this absolutely ridiculous line: Men want respect while women want love.
Now, although I get where the peddlers of this saying are coming from, I still think it is absolutely ridiculous.
This is because I am a woman and I know I want both.
If I do, I am sure many women feel the same way.
However, respect is not always automatic; it is earned.
If you keep doing things that attract disrespect, that might be all you will get.
But if you want a man to respect you, you have to demand it and earn it by not doing the things that make him disrespect you.
But what are those things?
I address them in this post.
Keep reading.
If You Keep Doing These 8 Things, He’ll Never Respect You
1. Accepting Disrespect
Like I established earlier, respect is unfortunately not always automatic.
If you want to be respected, you must be ready to demand it.
We would like to hope that every human being is decent and knows how to act right, but some people take a while to get there.
It doesn’t even always mean they are bad people; they are just treating you the way you agree to be treated.
Let me take a little detour and let you know that in romantic relationships, to be respected, you cannot afford to be desperate for a relationship or be afraid of singleness.
If you are, you will accept anything and everything to keep a man.
Some men are not worth your time at all.
For these men, when you stand your ground against disrespect, they might threaten to leave or even leave because they cannot operate beyond the level they are.
So, you must be ready to let go of any man unwilling to respect you even after making your desires known.
I broke up with my recent ex because he had a habit of going MIA when he was going through issues.
I mean, all my calls and messages went unanswered until he was ready to speak to me.
After he had done it twice, I had had enough, so I told him that was the last time I would accept such behavior, and if he did it again, he shouldn’t bother coming back.
I was ready to listen to him if he had issues and even give him time if he asked for it, but I couldn’t tolerate being ghosted any time there was an issue.
All I asked for was communication, but if he couldn’t provide that, I told him he could move on without me.
And I stuck to my guns.
When he did it again, I sent him a message to wish him a good life without me, and I never looked back.
So, you see what I mean?
If you want respect, you must be ready to be alone if that is what it takes; if you ask me, that’s better than being in a disrespectful relationship.
I always say that people treat you based on what you allow.
The more you accept disrespect, the more it becomes your normal.
You must firmly uphold your standards.
If a man knows you’ll always stay no matter what, he has no incentive to treat you better.
2. Disrespecting Him
You cannot demand respect when you are treating others with disrespect.
Not only do you not have the moral right to, but you won’t get it because respect is a two-way street.
If you constantly belittle your man, talking down to him or making him feel small, don’t be surprised if he treats you the same.
Only a few percentage of the human race will not treat you ‘aura for aura’ like we say where I come from or more universally, bar for bar.
That means disrespect for disrespect.
Not to mention, he will soon check out emotionally or distance himself from the relationship.
No one wants to feel like they’re in a relationship with someone who sees them as less than.
A man can’t feel safe or loved in a space where he’s being disrespected.
So, if you want him to treat you like a queen, treat him like a king.
Please note that I’m not saying you should ignore red flags; it just means you should approach your issues with maturity and kindness.
3. Relying on Him For Everything
It’s okay to need your man sometimes; we all do.
But when you depend on him for your happiness, your finances, your self-worth, and your direction in life, it might breed disrespect.
Remember what they say about he who pays the piper – he determines the tone.
So, when your survival is completely based on your man, he might treat you with disrespect even when he doesn’t mean to.
Plus, it honestly makes you look needy instead of empowered.
Men respect women who bring something to the table.
Even if you don’t do that financially, you can do that emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Make sure you add value to his life, rather than draining him; it earns you respect.
4. Losing Yourself For The Relationship
There’s nothing cute about forgetting who you are just because you’re in love.
If you drop your passions, ditch your friends, and start molding yourself into whatever he wants, you’re not being loyal; you’re disappearing.
And if you think that will endear you to him, you have another thinking coming.
I am sorry for sounding harsh. I just want more for my fellow women.
Trust me, if you lose yourself for a relationship, your man will soon start to lose respect for the version of you that only exists to please him.
The best relationships are between two whole people.
Don’t lose your voice trying to keep a man.
If anything, let him fall in love with the parts of you that are uniquely yours.
After all, those were the parts he knew when he wooed you or asked you out.
So, why are you making them disappear?
5. Clinging To Him
There is no way a man can respect you when you are constantly smothering him.
If you constantly blow up your man’s phone, demand all his time, or panic every time he doesn’t text back immediately, I’m honestly not surprised he doesn’t respect you.
You are being insecure, and insecurity doesn’t attract respect.
You need to give him room to breathe and space to miss you.
Trust me, when a man truly values you, he won’t need you to chase him.
But he also deserves time for himself. If he is not getting that, you will repel him rather than attract him.
6. Being Lazy And Unambitious
The same way women find a lazy man unattractive is the same way men don’t respect a lazy woman; they also respect drive.
I know there is a wrong prevalent mentality that makes it look like women can get away with sitting on their a$$ all day doing nothing because the man is supposed to be the provider.
But in reality, a man will respect you more when you have goals, dreams, and a hustle.
Now, I am not saying you have to be perfect or have it all figured out, but you do need to have vision.
Plus, this doesn’t mean chasing a high-powered career; you don’t have to if that’s not for you.
However, it does mean striving to be better in whatever lane you choose.
When you glow up for yourself, you naturally earn respect from others, including your man.
7. Lying To Him
I mean, this goes without saying – nobody can trust or respect a liar.
Once a man realizes you lie—even about little things—he loses respect for you.
This is because he starts to question your intentions and character.
And if it keeps happening, he’ll stop taking your words seriously altogether.
Plus, I honestly cannot imagine how embarrassing it is to be caught in a lie repeatedly.
I understand if you tell little white lies occasionally—you are human, after all—but being known for dishonesty is not a good look.
8. Not Prioritizing Self-Development
Some relationships ended not because the parties stopped loving each other, but because they outgrew each other.
One party was either developing themselves while the other was comfortable in their state.
But besides this, a man will likely respect you when you are investing in your growth mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually.
You cannot afford not to evolve and remain stagnant.
You must keep working on yourself by reading more, learning a new skill, or just taking care of your mind and body.
Moreover, you shouldn’t even wait for someone to push you; grow for you, and the respect will follow.