When two people get married, they are obligated to love each other unconditionally.
You chose and married each other—hopefully —nobody did that for you—so now it’s your duty to love them forever.
Many people do their best to fulfill this obligation no matter what their partner does or does not do.
But the truth is that although the love itself may be unconditional, the level of love and value an individual places on their spouse is largely related to the things that spouse does.
A person can not consistently treat their partner like crap and still expect them to treat them like the best thing after jollof rice.
It doesn’t quite work like that.
Every time I see a man who cherishes and values his wife above everything, I usually say that it reflects the man’s quality and not really about the kind of wife he has.
But that’s not completely true, many times, it has a lot to do with the kind of person the wife is and what she does.
Even if you love and respect someone for no reason, there are things that person may do that will make you value them even more.
So, what do these women do that makes their husbands prioritize them?
Men Who Truly Value Their Wives Have Wives Who Do These 7 Things
1. Respect them
Men value women who respect them.
Whether that woman is their wife or not.
When a woman communicates honor to a man in the language he understands, she rises to the top of his priority list.
So, it’s best when that woman is his wife.
Respecting your husband tells him that he’s important to you, and you see him as a big deal.
A wife who communicates respect to her husband through her words and actions will always be valued.
And when I say respect, I don’t mean anything weird, like bowing before him or beating yourself down to elevate him.
It is as simple as speaking to him with kindness and not belittling him in private or public, avoiding spiteful sarcasm or dismissing his opinions, even when you both disagree and letting him know you admire and appreciate his efforts.
These things show a husband that he’s well respected by his wife.
It shows that she values him, and value begets value; a man who feels valued by his wife is very likely to value her in return.
Speaking highly of her husband to others is also a language of respect.
My friend once told me that ever since her husband overheard her defending him and speaking highly of him to her family behind his back, his respect for her has multiplied.
He now cherishes her so much and never wants to hurt her.
It’s like he appreciates the pedestal that she has placed him on and does not want to do anything to fall short of her glory, haha!
But it’s simply a mind thing – everyone wants to feel cherished and respected, but even more, a man in his home.
When a wife chooses to defend her husband behind his back, never tear him down, and choose to show gratitude publicly for the things he does instead of always complaining about the things he’s not great at yet, she makes him feel like a King.
Respect can also be expressed as prioritizing.
By being intentional about spending time together, even in the middle of life’s busyness, she makes her husband feel like a priority and not an obligation.
These things make a man feel esteemed and he’s not going to joke with the woman that makes him feel this way.
2. Respect themselves
These women are also about respecting themselves, not just their husbands.
How people perceive and value you is sometimes influenced by how you carry yourself.
Women whose husbands value them are women who value themselves.
They don’t just venerate their husbands, they honor themselves as well.
They carry themselves with class, dignity, and honor, knowing that they’re an asset to the man’s life and not a liability.
Women like this commit to taking care of themselves inside and out.
They communicate their boundaries and preferences and don’t settle for just any form of treatment, even from their husbands.
My aunt’s husband was at a gathering one time and made a statement that stuck with me forever.
He said, “One of the reasons I cherish and respect my wife is how much she respects herself. She doesn’t tolerate intimidation, disrespect, and toxicity. She is kind and affectionate, but she also has boundaries and is unapologetic about them. These things make her even more attractive.”
You see, many women think the way to becoming a valued wife is by making themselves doormats, but the reverse is the case.
Showing up as your highest self is always going to earn your respect than trying to feign humility.
The cherished wives usually focus on growing spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, because they know that a fulfilled woman inspires her man and they’re only going to be valued to the degree to which they are women of value.
You may want to read that a second time for it to stick.
So, you’re going to find these women, chasing their dreams, staying confident in their identity even beyond being a wife, maintaining personal hygiene, and dressing well, not just for their husbands but for themselves too.
3. Give wise counsel
I know people who always seem to have the best advice to give in every situation.
No matter how bleak and confusing a situation looks, these people somehow always present an intelligent perspective that helps untie the knots.
Needless to say, I don’t play about those people, they mean a lot to me.
This quality is one I’ve also seen in many valued wives.
They are solution providers.
They’re not magicians or perfect in everything but they somehow know how to bring stillness to chaotic situations and their husbands love them for it.
When he has issues that border around his relationships, work, or even general life, he knows she’s likely to say something that will help make things better.
4. Make good decisions
This is like a spillover of the previous point.
If she’s great at giving great advice, of course, she’ll be great at making decisions too.
Husbands cherish their wives more when they see that they’re great at making decisions.
They see that the women allow them to lead and trust their leadership, but also take charge of their own lives and make useful contributions to their joint decisions.
And the results of those decisions are usually amazing.
For instance, she’s not choosing to buy a Birkin when she has more pressing issues to handle with money, or going to random events where she’s not needed when she could be using her time more productively.
Her decisions just generally show that she’s wise.
And it’s also seen in how she plays her role as a wife.
She’s always willing to choose peace over unnecessary battles.
She prefers to keep her home a place of comfort and joy and create an atmosphere of warmth, peace, and happiness in it.
You’re very not likely to find her stressing unnecessarily over things that don’t truly matter, making the home a place her husband looks forward to returning to.
This kind of lifestyle makes a man see his wife as a blessing in his life.
And this is expressed even in their conflict resolution as a couple.
Women like this would rather handle conflicts with wisdom instead of nagging or shouting.
This is not because they’re afraid of confrontations; it’s simply because they prefer to choose their battles wisely, not make everything a fight, and bring peace to the home rather than unnecessary drama.
5. Have their backs
This is a very essential quality of wives who are valued by their husbands.
These women are solid supporters!
They’re their men’s number-one OG sidekick.
In good times and times that are bad, they’re there, not moving an inch.
They’re supporting, encouraging, motivating, praying, and looking out for him.
They create emotional safety for the man, choosing to be his safe space where he can be vulnerable without judgment.
They let him know that he is allowed to express his emotions freely, including his fears and weaknesses.
If he’s pursuing something like an opportunity or a dream, they’re there pushing, helping, encouraging, and believing in him even when he doubts himself.
Sometimes, they even help him strategize and think through challenges when he asks for input.
They know that they have someone to stand by them during hard times.
Someone who will not withdraw love and support when they’re struggling but will pray for and with them, reassuring them that their worth isn’t tied to temporary failures.
6. Are a blessing to other people
Have you ever watched your loved one show up for other people in amazing ways and just love them more for it?
This happens a lot.
Seeing how much value your person brings to the world makes you cherish them even more.
It’s one of the secrets of cherished wives.
They’re not only good to their husbands; they’re a blessing to the world in their own unique ways.
They’re like a ray of sunshine on a gloomy and dark day, bringing light and happiness to many lives.
Whether it’s through their job or business, a word of encouragement to a weary person, giving someone food to eat, or just hosting people and making them feel loved, they’re sprinkling good vibes everywhere.
This can make people speak highly of them and make the husband see even more how much of a treasure he’s blessed with.
7. Keep things spicy
Men love it when their wives know how to keep the fire burning.
When the woman knows that she might have a lot going on in her life, but her connection with her husband remains a priority.
So, she prioritizes intimacy, through both physical and affectionate actions, making her husband feel desired and attractive.
She maintains her A-game when it comes to looking good and does things her husband loves and finds attractive.
She makes the move and initiates romantic moments instead of always waiting for him to do it.
She’s an asset in many ways and the bedroom is not an exception.
These things make husbands treasure their wives more and more because beyond what she does, they see who she is on the inside: a woman who loves, respects, understands, and supports them in a way that makes them feel like the best version of themselves.
Who wouldn’t value such a spouse?