“I still got joy in chaos. I’ve got peace that makes no sense.”
The lyrics of this song keep on resounding in my head as I consider writing to you today.
We live in a world filled with hustle, bustle, and chaos.
The world is noisy and keeping your sanity may just be dependent on how well you can maintain a peaceful internal environment.
This is because searching for external peace may be an exercise in futility.
The external world is characterized by an endless rat race to make a living and to achieve the “American Dream.”
The craziest part is that achieving the “American Dream” doesn’t stop the endless race.
It still feels like you are always chasing after something or trying to keep ahead of something.
In all of these, your heart yearns for peace.
You just want to feel that calm even in the storm of life.
Today, I want to help you achieve this.
In this article, we will explore the habits of people who enjoy inner peace in our turbulent world.
Perhaps, your inner peace is just one habit out of reach from you.
Let’s get started!
People Who Enjoy Inner Peace Have These 9 Habits
1. They are mindful
In our world, we usually have so many things to do in so little time that our days seem to go by in a blur.
We get so overwhelmed by the sheer thought of what we want to do that we spend most of our days thinking about what to do and not exactly doing it.
When I was working on my undergraduate thesis, I remember feeling overwhelmed by the entire work.
I had taken on a heavy responsibility by conducting my research the way I chose to, and it was so hard trying to keep up with it while having to work and perform my other academic duties.
I would wake up thinking about all I needed to do throughout the day without doing it because I always ended up zoning out and just scrolling through social media all day.
You can’t continue to live life on autopilot.
It doesn’t help.
The people who enjoy inner peace have come to realize this and are usually conscious of the moment and what they have to do.
They don’t waste time worrying about all they have to do.
They break tasks down into fragments and deal with those fragments rather than consider the whole mountain of tasks before them.
They are fully engaged in the present, performing whatever tasks need to be done and not dwelling on past mistakes or future tasks.
This is one way to keep from being overwhelmed by the world.
Even when you have so many things to do, you need to stop and take a breath.
Strategize and break tasks into smaller manageable segments.
Be mindful while you are at it, and you will start feeling more at ease with yourself.
2. They are appreciative
Appreciation is another key aspect of life.
Here, I am not only talking about appreciating what others have done.
I am more focused on self-appreciation.
A former president of Nigeria once said, “If an agama lizard falls to the ground while climbing an Iroko tree and no one claps for it, it will clap for itself”.
Sometimes, the reason why many people don’t experience peace is because they don’t know how to appreciate their own efforts.
They don’t know how to be thankful for the little growth they are experiencing.
They want everything to happen to them at once and because of this, they don’t feel at peace within themselves.
Despite achieving something already, they are not at peace because there is still more to do.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not asking you to settle for a mediocre life.
I am only saying, “Take some time to celebrate your little wins.”
Even if you want to conquer the world, celebrate when you conquered a house first.
This is one habit people who enjoy inner peace have learned to have.
They know they can’t achieve all they want at once.
So, they celebrate their little wins and this fosters a feeling of self-improvement.
3. They are self-compassionate
One time, I made a mistake with something at school and felt so down.
I imagined what my lecturer was going to say to me.
I beat myself so much, but when I got to him, he only said, “Do better next time.”
No criticism, no insults, no disappointment…
Then I realized that day that most of us are harder on ourselves than other people are on us.
We are so used to self-flagellation that it doesn’t strike us as weird.
Inner peace starts with learning to be kind to yourself.
Everyone makes mistakes, so why should you be so hard on yourself for being human?
Think about it.
If a friend made a mistake and was so torn up about it, what would you say?
You would probably say it was just a mistake, and they shouldn’t let a mistake define them.
During my thesis defense, I made a mistake with some facts and felt down because of this.
I answered other questions well, but that mistake was still on my mind.
Well, the results were posted, and I got an A.
It turned out that I had beaten myself up for making a mistake during a presentation that my professors considered worthy of an excellent grade.
The point is that you have to be compassionate to yourself to experience inner peace.
People who enjoy inner peace have learned to stop being their own harshest critic.
Rather, they are kind to themselves when they make mistakes.
A quick disclaimer: this doesn’t mean that you should not care about the quality of what you do.
It just means that mistakes happen so that we can learn from them.
Take the relevant lessons and stop being too hard on yourself.
4. They set firm boundaries
Having relationships without boundaries is tantamount to inviting trouble into your life.
People will encroach into your personal space if there are no boundaries in place.
They would still attempt to do this if you set boundaries, but you must be firm.
People who enjoy inner peace know how to set firm boundaries.
They have come to realize how much energy it takes to please people around you and how much you neglect yourself when you have no boundaries.
Hence, they set boundaries.
Of course, you have access to them.
But they ensure that your access to them doesn’t result in something detrimental for them.
To enjoy inner peace, you need to set firm boundaries in your relationships.
When you do this, you will realize that you are happier and more fulfilled because you are not stretched thin trying to satisfy everyone else.
5. They prioritize quality relationships
Growing up, I used to make the mistake of calling everyone my friend.
So, if I had a cordial relationship with you, I interpreted that as friendship.
At some point, I had to realize that everyone can’t be my friend.
I had to decide on whom to let into that inner circle.
We have all faced this difficult choice at some point in our lives.
Who do you let in, and who do you let out?
People who enjoy inner peace have a formula for this.
I call it a formula for lack of a better word to describe it.
They prioritize quality relationships.
So, they reflect on their friendships and pick out the strong ones.
Those are the ones they let in.
They have realized that quality is always better than quantity when it comes to human relationships.
Too many friends of the wrong kind will only bring you trouble, headaches, and heartbreaks.
A few quality relationships will give you the peace of mind you need.
Focus on building meaningful relationships for yourself and you are well on your way to attaining inner peace.
6. They don’t hold grudges
Resentment is a trap you should never be caught in.
It disturbs your internal equilibrium.
You must learn to let go of grudges.
It is normal for even the best of friends to hurt themselves.
You shouldn’t hold on to past grudges because of that.
It creates a very toxic environment for your relationship.
As someone who has kept malice and held grudges in the past, I can tell you firsthand how it weighs you down.
You may notice that you are bearing a lot of weight.
However, when you let go of your grudges, you will feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
People who enjoy inner peace know that holding grudges can destroy their inner peace, just like one rotten egg is enough to affect a crate of eggs.
Let go of the grudges and start experiencing peace of mind.
7. They don’t get involved with toxic people
Sometimes, it is best to avoid involvement in situations that will take your peace of mind away.
You shouldn’t feel guilty because of this choice.
It doesn’t make you a coward.
Rather, it means you are someone who carefully considers the consequences of your actions.
Some people experience turbulence in their lives because of the kind of toxic relationships they have cultivated with toxic people.
There is no way you can be in a relationship with a toxic person without the relationship becoming toxic.
People who enjoy inner peace know this and have made it a habit to avoid any form of relationship or entanglement with toxic people.
This also includes toxic situations.
You are allowed to avoid interfering in something that has the potential to take away your inner peace.
In fact, you must learn to do this because if you don’t, you won’t be able to maintain your inner peace.
8. They have a great sense of humor
Laughter is a great way to relieve tension.
If you smile or laugh often, you will find that it makes you look younger and it makes you feel better.
A good laugh can lift your spirit, and people who enjoy inner peace know this.
This is why they usually have a great sense of humor.
A friend was just telling me that I was the only one she had unserious conversations with.
Her life is so serious that she is official with just about every other person in her life.
But she realized that laughter doesn’t hurt anyone; instead, it is healthy.
So, she considers any conversation with me to be a stress reliever.
I was happy that I could do that for my friend.
Look, laughter doesn’t mean you are not serious about your life.
It just shows that you won’t let the pressure of life get you to the point that you can appreciate the funny aspects of life.
Laughter has a way of making life seem less scary and less uncertain.
So, I laugh.
I don’t do it because my life is all figured out but because I am at peace within myself and hopeful for the future.
Learn to have a good laugh, dear reader.
9. They know when to ask for help
Finally, this is an important habit of people who enjoy inner peace.
They know they can’t do everything by themselves.
So, they don’t attempt to.
Rather, they ask for help from friends when they are overwhelmed.
If you don’t know how to ask for help, you may end up struggling with things that could have been easily done with others’ help.
You end up heightening the pressure and stress on yourself when you attempt to do everything by yourself.
Ask for help.
It won’t kill you!!
It will help you do things better and increase the peace you feel within yourself.
Inner peace is not necessarily attained through Zen meditation and yoga.
These simple habits can help you relax, though.
However, you must note that being at peace within yourself doesn’t mean you are living a perfect life.
Rather, it is just about how you react to the pressures of life.
It reflects your hope for a better future.
Most of all, it reflects contentment with your life.
As you embark on your journey to attaining inner peace, I wish you all the very best.
Cheers!