I had a friend when I was in college who was obsessed with this book, “Why Men Love B*tches.”
Although I never read the book, he spoke about it enough that I could get the gist – being a good woman doesn’t keep a man to you.
In fact, they prefer a b*tch.
As I said, I haven’t read the book, so I don’t know enough to speak for or against it.
Besides that, I wouldn’t categorically say that men don’t like good women.
Although, from what I understood, the man meant b*tches were women who knew their worth and were independent, while good women were women who accepted anything a man did.
Whatever the case, my definition of a good woman – at least in the context of this post – is a literal good woman.
She is a woman who has a good head on her shoulders, which is what the average human being would describe as good.
For such a woman, it is surely an irony that a man would want to cheat on her.
Well, men do – and that’s why we are here, or this article wouldn’t be necessary.
But why, though?
It still needs investigating.
I attempt to do that in this post.
7 Reasons Men Cheat On Good Women (It’s Not What You Think)
1. Boredom And Want For Variety
If you were expecting some philosophical reason, I’m sorry to disappoint you—that’s why the title includes the disclaimer that it’s not what you think.
Really, the reason some men cheat on good women is simply that they are bored.
It’s not that their woman isn’t good enough; it’s just that the routine got stale, and they were craving something new.
The thrill of chasing a woman, the excitement of doing something forbidden, or even just the feeling of being wanted by someone different is enough to push some men to infidelity.
I am not trying to excuse the behavior; I am just explaining it.
For some men, variety is more appealing than loyalty.
As selfish as it sounds, they don’t often care about the betrayal; the excitement is enough motivation.
2. Sexual Dissatisfaction Or Fantasy
Sex is a big deal in relationships, and while it is a sexual myth that only men are big on sex, they are more permitted by society to be physical.
For that reason, a man might see sexual dissatisfaction as a valid reason to step out.
For instance, if his woman has a lower sex drive, or things have become monotonous, he may cheat on her to get that need met.
Another thing could be fantasies he’s afraid to share because he thinks his woman is too vanilla to handle them.
Or he could have communicated it, and she wasn’t interested.
Either way, he might find someone else to fulfill those unmet desires.
3. Selfishness
Yes, men cheat on good women because they are simply selfish.
In fact, at the core of many affairs is pure selfishness.
Some men cheat because they want to, because they put their own desires above the feelings of their partner.
They convince themselves that as long as they don’t get caught, no one gets hurt.
For them, it’s all about their ego, so they have a total lack of regard for the emotional devastation they cause their woman.
You may give your all as a good woman, but if a man is only thinking about himself, it won’t matter.
The truth is that a man who cheats out of selfishness doesn’t lack a good woman; he lacks character.
4. Lack Of Self-Control
You may have seen some movies where another woman is seducing a man.
The audience can see that he did not exactly pursue her or may not even have been interested in her, but because she came at him, he didn’t have the strength to say no.
So, yes, some men give in to the moment when an opportunity presents itself because they don’t have the discipline to say no.
The reason varies – it could be alcohol, loneliness, or simply a lack of boundaries.
But at the core is a lack of self-control or discipline.
You find that the men that fall into this category often regret it afterward, swearing it was a mistake.
The only sad thing is that regret doesn’t undo betrayal.
Having said that, this only applies to a man who cheats once.
A repeat offender is not a victim of circumstance, he is choosing to prioritize his pleasure over his commitment to his partner.
5. Emotional Detachment
Cheating is easy for a man who has checked out emotionally.
It takes loving and respecting your partner to be faithful and committed to them.
When one doesn’t have feelings for them, some people may not feel the need to be faithful or have the motivation to.
So, if a man feels disconnected from his partner for whatever reason, he may seek that closeness elsewhere.
The woman may still be a good woman, but if, in his mind, the relationship has already lost its warmth, there would be no point in staying faithful.
Some may argue that he should have simply broken up instead of acting out, and I agree.
But some people choose the easy way out because they don’t want to have tough conversations.
It doesn’t make it right, but it’s something some do.
6. External Validation
Some men suffer from low self-esteem and need constant reassurance that they’re attractive, desirable, or still “wanted.”
The issue has nothing to do with their partner.
It’s not about you at all, it’s about their own insecurity.
They crave attention, and when they don’t get enough from one person, they seek it elsewhere.
This type of person needs constant compliments, flirtation, and attention to feel good about themselves.
And since one woman can’t fill that insatiable need, they may go outside to get it.
Understand that I’m not saying a woman cannot or should not give her man compliments and attention.
What I’m saying is that someone who craves it because they tie it to their worth has an insatiable need for it that no one person can fill.
So, they seek another or multiple women to get that validation that they lack internally.
7. He Wants To Leave
Another reason a man might cheat on a good woman is that he wants to leave.
As unfortunate as it is, the fact that you are a good woman doesn’t mean a man would automatically want you and want to stay with you.
There are so many reasons why someone might stay with another, and it is always about whether they are good or not.
It could be that they are not attracted to them enough or that the partner is not meeting their relationship needs.
It really could be anything.
But instead of the man taking a walk, he may cheat his way out.
Some people don’t like being alone, so they will cheat until they find a replacement and leave.
Some cheat because they are hoping the woman finds out and leaves.
For this set, they don’t want to deal with the fallout of breaking up.
So, it is easier to have her do it.
Whatever the case, some men may cheat on good women because they want to leave the relationship.