Cheating hurts!
There is really no other way to put it.
It can be frustrating when you consider the fact that your lover, with whom you believed you would spend your life together, is cheating on you.
That break in trust and lack of consideration for you can be depressing.
However, some people might say it is better if the cheating is solely physical – especially if it’s the man doing the cheating.
Some women might be willing to overlook a solely physical indiscretion.
Unfortunately, we both know that cheating is not always physical; sometimes, it is also emotional.
In fact, in some situations, the men begin to fall in love and build a life with the other woman.
If your husband has another woman and you suspect their relationship is deepening, you need to read this; it will show you what to look for to determine whether your man is building a life with the other woman in his life.
Let’s check them out.
8 Signs He’s Building A Life With The Other Woman
1. He Starts Spending Less Time At Home
Human beings are inherently selfish; we hardly spend our time on things or people who don’t pay us.
Whoever someone spends more time with is who they really want, or, in this context, with whom they are building a life.
Therefore, one major sign that he is building a life with another woman is if he starts spending less time with you and more time with her.
Like I said, we don’t invest our time in things that don’t pay us.
So that he sees her more in his future, he clearly shows this by making time with her a priority.
Besides that, when we love someone, we want to spend time with them because we enjoy being in their presence.
Your husband spending more time with her than with you shows she is the one he really wants to build a life with.
By repeatedly choosing to spend time with her, he is clearly emotionally detaching from you and moving to her.
2. He Avoids Discussions About The Future With You
You may ask, “We are already married; what future are we still discussing?”
Well, think about it: don’t you have plans as a couple, such as a college fund for your children, building or buying a house, retirement plans, and so on?
I’d bet you do.
This is because talking about future plans is a natural part of any committed relationship; there is always something to do and look forward to.
So, if, in your case, it is a relationship, you should already know there is a lot to look forward to in the future.
And when two people are in love and a committed relationship, they see the other person as a part of their life in the present and future.
Therefore, whoever your husband is speaking more about the future with is likely who he sees there with him.
After all, there is no point in talking to someone about a future that they will not be a part of.
If your man suddenly becomes uninterested in discussing long-term goals with you, it means he no longer envisions you in his future.
It is not normal for your man to dismiss these conversations, change the subject, or give vague responses when discussions about the future come up.
If he is not having those discussions with you, it is safe to say he is having it with the other woman since she is a visible presence in his life.
If there had been no woman in his life, this could point to other things, but the presence of another woman makes it safe to infer that she is now the one he is talking about the future with.
3. He Starts A Family With Her
I don’t believe that there is a clearer sign that a man is building a life with another woman than starting a family with her.
Of course, there are times when affairs—or heck, even one-night stands—turn into pregnancies, but the context is always different if it was a mistake.
For instance, a man who didn’t expect to have a baby in his affair will likely be more apologetic about the incident than one who considers her an extension of him.
While he may still keep it a secret because he does not want to deal with the fallout, he will approach your finding out with a sense of nonchalance.
He won’t have the remorse of a man who was caught in a mistake but one who thinks, “Oh well, so bad you found out that way.”
Another sign is that he will be protective of the new family.
Men are naturally protective when they are in love or consider you theirs, so that would spill out.
He will feel the need to protect her from you.
Remember that he considers her as more of his woman than you, so he will deliberately start a new family and protect them from you, even if it means going against you.
4. He Becomes Emotionally Distant
Like spending time away from home, we only invest in a relationship where we see a future.
This is probably the biggest way people who are having an affair show they are no longer interested in their partner.
Of course, if it was just an affair, he might try to hide it, but it still spills out because you can’t share your feelings between two people equally.
However, in this case, where he is building a life with another woman, he might not feel the need to be subtle.
He will boldly detach from you and invest his emotions where he really wants to be – the other woman.
Therefore, you will find that he is less engaged during conversations or uninterested in what’s going on in your life.
He will likely withdraw affection, avoid deep discussions, or seem disconnected when he is with you.
In some extreme cases, he might even withdraw physical intimacy.
Men are largely physical beings, so some of them don’t need emotions to get off.
Therefore, some of them will still be active physically, but you can never go wrong with judging through emotional intimacy.
It is usually directed to the one we prioritize and want to be with.
5. He Introduces Her To Family And Friends
I will start with something I always say: When a man loves you and wants to be with you, you will know.
Do you know why?
Because he would shout it to the rooftop if he could.
So, one major sign that a man wants to be with a woman is how much he flaunts her.
If she didn’t matter, she would be hidden.
But in this case, where she matters – that’s why he is building a life with her – he will introduce her to his family and friends.
In some cases, he might keep her away, especially if he has a family that he knows won’t approve because they know the first woman.
Often, because birds of a feather flock together, he may not have that problem with his friends.
If you hear his friends randomly mention her name in conversations, as if they are very familiar with her, then she likely means more to him than just someone he sees by the side.
That means he has introduced her to them.
The same thing applies to his siblings – siblings are usually more lenient with this than parents.
6. His Finances Don’t Add Up
Most men feel financially responsible for the woman they are with because of societal conditioning.
So, buying her gifts or doing her favors comes with the territory.
Generosity is a kind trait, so a generous act here and there might not mean much.
However, if his finances no longer make sense, it may be pointing to something deeper.
For example, if you know his income, you can deduce what he can afford; if he suddenly can’t afford it, his money is likely going somewhere.
If you cannot pinpoint where it is going – like an extensive project that you know of – his money could be going where his affection is.
He is likely buying her expensive things or investing money to make his transition from you to her smoother.
It could be taking care of their child, setting her up, or getting a place for them to stay together.
7. He Stops Including You In Major Decisions
When someone starts building a life with someone else, they often exclude their partner from significant decisions.
After all, since he is no longer building a life with you, he doesn’t feel the need to tell you about his financial moves, career changes, or other big life choices.
He will make those decisions with the other woman because she is the one that matters to him now.
So, if your husband is consistently leaving you out of major decisions, it’s a strong indicator that his priorities have shifted.
8. She Influences His Decisions
When we love someone, they automatically influence us – dressing, perspective, and decisions.
This influence is not always deliberate or obvious; it is often a reflex action because we want to impress the person.
So, if your partner’s dressing changes and he starts making strange decisions, someone is likely behind it.
These decisions are not strange because they are necessarily bad but because you are clueless about them.
Self-improvement is great, but in an innocent situation, you can trace the source of the changes because he has discussed them with you.
However, the other woman is likely the reason why he suddenly changes and withdraws from your relationship.