Ideally, when a guy doesn’t care for you, he steers clear of you and focuses on the type of woman he is interested in.
But we don’t live in an ideal world.
In our world, people get into relationships or pretend to care about people they don’t have feelings for.
Although the reasons for this may differ, they are usually related to sex, money, loneliness, or a business connection.
When I had this experience, I liked the guy a lot, and I initially thought he felt the same way because he gave me the same energy.
After a while, I started noticing some attitudes that didn’t seem like he did.
Being the kind of person I was, I asked him if he had feelings for me or was faking it.
Of course, he denied it, but digging deeper, I realized he was keeping me by the side because he enjoyed having someone to talk to.
In essence, I was a placeholder until he found the one for him.
Thankfully, I discovered this and saved myself from the needless pain – not to say it still wasn’t painful – but finding out early saved me, which is why I’m writing this.
I realized that not every woman knows what to look out for; thus, they end up suffering unnecessary pain.
So, I decided to write on the signs to look out for to know when a guy is faking feelings for you.
Let’s look at them.
7 Signs He’s Faking His Feelings For You
1. He avoids making plans with you.
One way I knew my boyfriend was right for me was that he always made plans with me.
He’d talk about the future and include me in it, even before we started dating officially.
For example, while we were still talking, he mentioned taking his leave at a particular time because I would be on leave then.
According to him, we’d have time to spend together when we both took our leaves at the same time.
That sealed it for me; I was sure then that he really liked me.
I’m sure you already get where I’m going.
A guy who loves you will make plans with you, and the one faking his feelings will avoid making plans with you.
It is really that simple.
If he genuinely cared, he’d be excited about what’s next for both of you.
It doesn’t even have to be something big like getting married – especially if the relationship is still new.
But he will make date plans, trips, and other such arrangements to show that he plans to be in your life in the future.
If he constantly dodges these conversations or never mentions them, it’s a sign that something’s off.
2. His words and actions don’t match.
Another telltale sign he’s faking his feelings is when his words and actions don’t match.
Remember that the operative word here is faking, so he will say all the right things.
After all, he wants you to believe he has feelings for you, so he promises heaven and earth.
But somehow, you will notice they just don’t feel real.
Imagine someone constantly saying I miss you but rarely makes time to see you.
Or he tells you how much you mean to him but forgets to check in when you’re going through something tough?
It just doesn’t add up.
When someone’s genuinely into you, their actions will back up their words.
They don’t just talk the talk; they show you how they feel through consistent effort.
But if he’s just throwing words around to keep you around without putting in the work, it might be time to listen to your gut.
Actions speak louder than words, and it’s worth paying attention to if his actions whisper doubt.
3. He doesn’t prioritize spending time with you.
Another sign a guy might be faking his feelings is if he doesn’t prioritize spending time with you.
When someone truly cares, they find ways to make time, even when life gets busy.
Let me just tell you now, in case you don’t know: nobody is that busy; people make time for what matters.
Of course, he might have things to do that will prevent him from being available all the time, but he will still make a little time out of the day to say hi, check on you, and even go on dates.
Trust me when I say I’m not saying this out of the air.
My boyfriend is very busy.
He works Monday through Saturday and is active in church on Sunday, making that day busy as well.
Despite that, he is a clingy boyfriend, and I’m not saying he’s clingy in a bad way.
I’m saying that out of the two of us, he makes more time to see even though I am less busy.
I try to understand his busy schedule and tell him to go home to rest after work, but he still comes to see me thrice a week unfailingly because he misses me.
So, if a man is always “too busy” or constantly cancels plans at the last minute, it’s a red flag.
I understand that everyone has hectic days, but it says a lot if he’s squeezing you in as an afterthought or only shows up when he has nothing better to do.
In a real relationship, quality time matters.
If he doesn’t make it a priority, that could be a sign that he’s not that into it.
4. He avoids deep or meaningful conversations.
I know I’m talking a lot about my boyfriend, and you’re probably rolling your eyes now.
I’m sorry; I’m the stereotypical woman in love, so pardon me.
Anyway, one of the ways I knew my boyfriend was interested in me when we were still friends was how he wanted to know every tiny detail about me.
I remember a particular incident when he found out something from someone else and wasn’t pleased.
Of course, he didn’t come off strongly, considering he didn’t have a right then.
But he mentioned that I didn’t tell him, and he looked displeased; that was when I thought, “Hmm, it seems I mean more to this guy than I think.”
What am I saying in essence?
A guy who loves you will want to know you, and he will want you to know him.
He will confide in you and ask deep questions because he wants to know what makes you tick.
When a guy truly cares, he wants to connect on a deeper level; he’s interested in what makes you YOU.
He wants to know your dreams, fears, and how you see the world.
But if he’s avoiding deep or meaningful conversations, his feelings are likely not genuine.
If he always keeps things light and steers clear of anything too personal or emotional, he’s not ready – or willing – to fully invest emotionally.
He knows he doesn’t care to be there for the long term, so there is no point in getting to know you beyond the surface.
5. He’s inconsistent.
I always tell my girls that you will know when a guy is in love with you.
When you begin to doubt where you stand in his life, chances are you don’t stand anywhere.
A sign that someone’s really into you is that their affection is steady – you know where you stand with them.
If one day he’s showering you with attention and the next he’s distant or cold, he is likely not that into you.
He is just dropping a few things enough to keep you going so you don’t leave.
But he has no real intent to be with you.
When someone’s feelings are genuine, their actions don’t feel like an on-and-off switch.
If his affection is only there in spurts, it might mean he’s not as emotionally invested as he wants you to believe.
6. He keeps you away from his friends and family.
When a guy is genuinely interested, he wants you to be part of his world.
He will want to introduce you to the people he cares about to show you that you are important to him.
But if he’s always making excuses or keeps you at arm’s length from his inner circle, he’s likely intentionally keeping you separate from his real life.
Now, of course, certain issues might make it challenging to meet his family.
For instance, if there is distance, it might be difficult.
If he is also from a conservative culture where you can only bring a girl home when you are about to get married, that could also deter him.
But even if he can’t bring you around family, he will introduce you to his friends and maybe even his closest sibling.
If he doesn’t care to bring you around anybody, it’s worth asking yourself why he’s keeping you out.
7. He doesn’t make an effort to resolve conflicts.
Resolving conflict is a sign that someone cares about a relationship.
One way to know someone who has checked out of a relationship is when they don’t care to resolve conflicts.
It’s also how to know when someone doesn’t care about a relationship.
So, if a guy doesn’t try to resolve conflicts, it’s a sign he might not be as invested as he claims.
Real relationships have disagreements, but someone genuinely cares will want to work things out, even when it’s tough.
If he’s quick to shut down, ignore the issue, or dismiss your feelings, it’s like he’s avoiding the responsibility that comes with a real relationship.
A lack of effort to resolve conflicts shows that he is unwilling to do the work required for a committed relationship.
Chances are he is not in it for the long haul; he’s just faking it.