9 Signs You Are In A Loveless Relationship

I have been in a loveless relationship, so I will be the first to tell you that it’s not pretty.

Like the average woman, I had always fantasized about being in love and enjoying a beautiful relationship with the love of my life.

So, I latched onto the first man who seemed like he was going to offer me that.

However, eventually, I realized I was living in denial; not only was he not offering me that, but he didn’t love me at all.

On the other hand, he was waiting for me to get the idea and break up, but I didn’t because I couldn’t identify the problem.

I thought I was the problem, and if I did things to please him, our situation would improve.

But I was wrong; the only issue we had was that there was no longer love in the picture.

So, I know from experience that it is not always easy to identify a problem, especially when you are still in the heart of it.

Therefore, to help you, this article contains signs you are in a loveless relationship.

9 Signs You Are In A Loveless Relationship

1. Little Or No Communication

It might seem like an overstretch when we talk about how much a relationship is anchored on communication.

But it is not; communication really is the lifeline of any relationship.

Without it, you and your partner might as well be two strangers sharing the same space.

This is why it is the first sign that you are in a loveless relationship.

Now, this doesn’t mean you don’t talk at all, but what are you talking about?

If you are married, are you only talking about the kids, chores, and bills?

And if you are not, does it look like conversation with your partner feels like you’re pulling teeth?

If yes, something’s broken.

Let me say here that we are not saying you must be talking at every moment; there are times when you will enjoy comfortable silence.

But in a loveless relationship, silence will feel awkward, heavy, and tense.

It is because you are both not comfortable; even if you don’t consciously know it yet, it is registered in your subconscious that something is wrong.

So, you will reflexively be uncomfortable around them.

A couple in a relationship where everything is happy are comfortable talking about the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And they also enjoy comfortable silence when situations call for it.

2. There Is No Intimacy

When was the last time you genuinely reached for their hand?

Or they kissed you just because?

When last did you get random hugs and cuddles?

And when was the last time you enjoyed deep conversations where you were both vulnerable and laid things bare?

These are the things to look out for in a loving relationship – the couple are automatically intimate.

Note that intimacy isn’t all about the bedroom, as some people are celibate in their relationship.

So, you can achieve intimacy without getting physical.

Intimacy involves random touches, but it also includes knowing someone deeply and knowing what they are thinking without them saying a word.

So, when that’s missing in a relationship, there is really no need to think too far; it is very clear that something is wrong.

If you love each other, you will be close.

3. No Shared Goals

A popular Bible verse says, “Can two walk together except they be agreed?”

The point of every relationship – romantic or not – is a shared or common goal.

That’s why no relationship can work if there is no common vision.

Therefore, it goes without saying that when you are in a healthy relationship, you are expected to have shared goals and dreams.

Happy couples make silly, wild, and serious plans; they are constantly planning.

Sometimes, they even dream about far-fetched things, but that’s beside the point – the most important thing is that they are dreaming.

So, a good sign of a separation in the heart is a separation in vision.

A loveless relationship is evidenced by how the couple no longer have anything in common.

Please understand that I am not saying you must agree on everything, but you must have core things in common and have goals that intertwine.

None of that is a sign that your bond has weakened.

One of the things that served as a lightbulb moment for me in that relationship was when I brought up things we could dream about, and my ex shrugged like I was talking about what we would have for dinner.

Those moments made me realize that we weren’t building anything together anymore, and he didn’t see me in his future.

So, I told myself some hard truths, and you might have to.

4. You Are Not Happy

Honestly, if you are not happy, I don’t know that there’s a need for further discussion.

But you need to be honest about it when asking yourself the question: Are you actually happy?

Like, truly, in your heart?

Or are you just existing next to someone because it’s familiar?

If you are happy, then there might just be some other things you need to look into to put your relationship in order.

But if you aren’t, there is no bigger sign than that.

To be clear, happiness in a relationship doesn’t mean you will have constant sunshine and roses, because life will throw curveballs occasionally.

Sometimes, you will be upset at your partner and vice versa, and sometimes, external issues like a job loss can trip up the relationship a little.

But the difference is that you will feel safe, loved, and generally good being with them.

If you spend more time feeling drained, irritated, or just… numb, something’s wrong.

You shouldn’t be happier in their absence than in their presence.

If your partner is another source of sadness you are dealing with, you are likely in a loveless relationship.

5. You Are Lonely

There is loneliness that comes from being single.

But there is a worse loneliness when you are in a relationship or marriage with someone who doesn’t see you anymore.

Loneliness inside a relationship cuts deeper because you can see that it is due to your partner rejecting or neglecting you.

You shouldn’t be with someone and still crave connection or to be chosen by them.

If you feel invisible in your own relationship, that’s your heart showing you that you are dealing with an absence of real love.

6. High Criticism

Another sign you are in a loveless relationship is when one of you or both of you become highly critical, depending on who is no longer in love.

Trust me, when you love someone, even when they upset you sometimes, you will find the strength to make excuses for them.

But when there is no love, everything they do will get on your nerves.

You will find that the way they chew, the way they breathe, even the way they exist, will feel like an offence.

So, if you or your partner are beginning to criticize everything – emphasis on EVERYTHING – you are dealing with resentment, and the love is standing on shaky ground.

7. You Don’t Argue

Conversely, not arguing at all is also another sign that there is trouble.

Now, there is a kind of peace where you both have gotten used to each other, know what to avoid, and how to resolve issues without even addressing them.

This could happen after years of being together.

That is different from what I am talking about.

This kind of peace feels eerily quiet and almost dead.

It is a sign that one or both of you no longer care to argue, and you are not interested in fighting for each other or the relationship.

Sometimes, it could be that you’ve gotten to the point where you have given up hope that anything can be fixed.

On the other hand, you don’t even care if everything goes to blaze.

If you have reached that point, it is a sign that love is absent.

8. Infidelity

Although sometimes cheating can be physical, it could also be a sign that there is no longer love with the first partner.

Don’t misunderstand that I am trying to justify cheating, as the cheater has the option of communicating their desire to end the relationship with their partner instead of cheating.

I’m just saying sometimes when someone is cheating, it is a way to communicate they are done with the relationship.

As wrong as it is, that’s how some people deal with issues.

And in other instances, because they are no longer in love with their partner, they are open to falling in love with someone else.