My mum is a micromanager, so I have been on the other side of being micromanaged; that’s why I know how frustrating it is.
However, as a woman, I also understand that the training we get from childhood makes it difficult for us to delegate and let people handle things.
Many times, women just feel that they can do certain things better, and I get it because sometimes, it’s valid.
But trust me when I say working with a micromanager is frustrating.
You end up always expecting to fail, which makes you walk on eggshells around them.
I love my mum and understand why she is like that, but I dislike cooking with her in the kitchen, for instance.
She pokes her nose in everything and corrects your every step.
When I was younger, I used to stomach the criticism and often stayed away from the kitchen.
But now that I’m older, I have found my voice, so I politely ask for space to cook the way I want in peace.
In essence, I’m saying nobody, including your husband, likes to be micromanaged.
After a while, he will surrender the job to you since you feel you can do it better anyway, and trust me, you don’t want a man to do that.
Having said that, let’s take a look at the signs you are micromanaging your husband.
9 Signs You Are Micromanaging Your Husband
1. You Constantly Correct How He Does Things
As I said of my mum earlier, micromanagers constantly correct your every move.
If you find yourself correcting your husband’s every move, chances are you are a micromanager.
For instance, he may be washing dishes, and you point out that he’s not stacking them right.
While you might mean well, this habit can make him feel inadequate.
As I also mentioned, he is soon bound to wonder why he has to do it since you already believe he can’t do it right.
It is a joy to have a man involved in house chores, especially with so many entitled men around who believe domestic chores are a woman’s job.
But he might not do it exactly the way you want it done.
Try to look away, understanding that everyone has their own style.
I know it’s difficult, but let go of small details and focus on the bigger picture – he’s helping.
So, trust his process and resist the urge to always step in with corrections.
2. You Struggle To Delegate Duties To Him
One thing I know about micromanagers from my experience with my mum is that they are often stressed and tired because they try to do everything themselves.
If you are a micromanager, you will struggle to delegate tasks to your husband because you believe you will do it better.
You might even try to delegate sometimes, but you always end up doing it.
For instance, you might tell him to throw the trash, but you go ahead and do it yourself when he doesn’t do it that instance.
If you are like that, you are a micromanager.
You need to believe he is capable of doing things, so ask him for help and trust he will achieve it at the right time.
If it’s not an emergency, don’t be tempted to time when tasks need to be done.
This is for you as well, not just him.
You get help and get to rest.
3. You Give Him Detailed Instructions For Every Task
This is something else micromanagers tend to do – they give you detailed instructions, even ones you can figure out as a sane adult.
Honestly, some things can be left to one’s discretion – not everything has to be spelled out.
However, micromanagers will likely hand their husband a shopping list with every detail written out, including brand names, sizes, store aisles, and other details.
While it might seem helpful, this level of control can feel patronizing.
It’s okay to trust him to pick the right toothpaste or milk; just tell him to get it.
I mean, he uses those things, too, so he knows.
If he doesn’t, he will ask you.
A friend once told me about how her husband joked when she sent him to the grocery store, “Are you sending me on a scavenger hunt or grocery shopping?”
The man must have felt overwhelmed by the details she included, but thankfully, she was able to retrace her steps.
4. You Follow Up Excessively Qn His Responsibilities
Do you often ask your husband, “Did you call the plumber?” or “Have you taken out the trash?” multiple times a day?
If yes, then you are a micromanager.
I understand that you might think you’re being thorough, but it can come across as nagging.
Put yourself in his shoes for a minute; wouldn’t it feel overwhelming if he kept following up on something you know to do every minute?
Trusting your husband to handle his responsibilities without constant reminders not only shows you respect him but also builds his confidence.
Instead of stressing over when he will do something – especially when it’s not an emergency – a simple “Let me know when it’s done” can work wonders.
5. You Redo Tasks He’s Already Completed
This is another telltale sign that you are a micromanager; you never accept what he has done and always feel the need to redo it.
If you often redo the bed he made or fold the laundry after he has done it, you’re essentially telling him his efforts aren’t good enough.
Again, he will soon stop bothering to do it, and that’s worse than him doing it differently from you.
Instead of redoing things, appreciate his effort – even if it’s not how you’d do it.
It encourages him to keep helping, and honestly, it’s less work for you – at least, that’s how I see it.
6. You Insist On Being Involved In All His Decisions
There is a difference between wanting to be involved in your husband’s life as his life partner and being controlling.
You are micromanaging your husband if you feel the need to weigh in on every choice he makes.
For instance, why are you in his wardrobe or his work emails?
Honestly, I don’t see any reason why his work emails should concern you except that you notice something fishy.
Conversely, with his wardrobe, I can understand wanting to up his style, but instead of criticizing him or constantly choosing for him – especially if he doesn’t ask for it – get him the things you would like to see on him, and with time, he will catch on.
If you go this route, you are likely to get more results than if you are over-involved, which can feel suffocating.
Give him space to make choices, and he’ll appreciate having the autonomy to handle things his way.
7. You Feel Anxious When He Handles Things His Way
I discovered that one of the reasons my mum micromanages is that she has found a way to do something, and she has convinced herself that’s the best way.
I mean, valid – her way often makes sense and looks good.
However, there is never just one way to do things, which is something micromanagers don’t understand.
Yes, your way is valid, but so is the way your husband handles something.
If you are often uneasy when he handles things differently than you would, you are micromanaging him.
You need to learn to approach things with a different perspective that your way is not the only way.
Trust me, by letting go, your husband might surprise you with his efficiency or creativity.
Plus, trusting his method of doing things strengthens your bond, as it shows that you believe in his abilities.
8. You Struggle To Trust Him To Manage Anything Independently
If you find it hard to let your husband take charge of anything, you’re likely micromanaging.
If you are always involved or in anxiety when he is doing something in your absence, you are a micromanager.
You need to learn to give him the reins without interference.
He is not a child; let him do it without feeling controlled.
9. You Take Over His Responsibilities Without Being Asked
Frequently stepping in to “help” without being asked can seem helpful – it might even be, if not overdone.
But if you are constantly doing it, you are a micromanager, and your husband might feel like you are undermining his role or distrusting his ability to handle it.
Instead of doing that, communicate – ask him if he needs assistance before stepping in.
He’ll feel respected, and you’ll avoid unnecessary resentment or frustration in the long run.