Communication is very important in relationships.
In fact, the more intimate a relationship is, the more important communication is to the success of the relationship.
Marriage is the most intimate relationship, and communication is the life wire of every successful marriage.
Take communication away, and it all falls apart like a pack of cards.
This is the honest truth.
It is quite sad that many couples are presently in unhappy marriages because they neglected this one thing.
I often see women complaining thaton’t like to open up to their wives.
While many men have issues with vulnerability, many others just feel they can’t talk to their wives.
There are many reasons husbands feel this way.
Some men have been trained right from birth that women can’t handle certain truths, while others may have wives who exhibit judgemental attributes.
Either way, it all results in one thing: a breakdown in communication, which is crucial to the relationship.
If you have noticed that your husband doesn’t talk to you as he used to, it could be a sign of even worse things to come.
Here are some signs your husband feels he can’t talk to you and what you can do to remedy the situation.
7 Signs Your Husband Feels He Can’t Talk To You
1. He is emotionally withdrawn
Emotional withdrawal has never been a positive sign for any relationship.
So, even without knowing the reason behind it, you can always guess that it is caused by something terrible.
When a man feels he can’t talk to his wife, he withdraws from her emotionally.
He stops speaking about his feelings and thoughts.
Instead, he is more interested in doing other things than sharing his thoughts with you.
If this continues for a long time, you may start to feel like your husband is more of a stranger than the person who vowed to love you in the best and worst circumstances.
It can be quite sad when things like this happen, especially when you don’t know why your husband is emotionally distant.
It just feels like he is acting up unnecessarily, and at some point, you just get tired of reaching out to him.
It is normal to feel tired if your efforts to reach him have bounced back like hitting against a formidable wall.
But the truth is sometimes, you need to check how you go about reaching out.
One time, I remember sharing something with a girl.
It was a really sad event, and I spoke to her about it.
I confided in her about how much I regretted my role in that event.
Guess what she did?
She blamed and judged me for what happened.
I ended up leaving her company, feeling worse than when I first arrived.
So, I started distancing myself from her.
Your husband can’t just decide to be emotionally withdrawn without a reason.
You need to find out the reason.
2. He avoids certain topics
There are certain difficult topics couples need to talk about in marriage.
However, these discussions are not easy to have, even for those in successful marriages.
What makes those marriages successful is that regardless of how difficult a topic is, they talk about it.
Well, if your husband has displayed a marked disinterest in discussing certain topics with you, it could be a sign that he feels that he can’t talk to you about them.
In my last relationship, I used to avoid certain serious conversations.
Though, in my case, it was because I didn’t have any plans for the relationship.
I wanted something casual, but she somehow felt I wanted something more.
Hence, her many questions about my plans for the future.
If you realize that your husband usually avoids talking about topics like finances, physical intimacy, or responsibility around the house, it could be because he feels he can’t talk to you and make you understand him.
I remember once, a man was talking about his wife, and subconsciously, I immediately started praying never to have a wife like that.
He was going through a terrible period financially, had no job, and had kids being sent home from school while his wife had a booming business.
He asked her to use the money to pay the kids’ school fees, but she insisted that it was her business capital and that she couldn’t take a dime out of it.
The man said a friend helped him settle his kids’ school fees while his wife did nothing.
His conclusion was that it is the man’s job to always take care of the family and that even when he has issues, he no longer shares them with his wife.
My mind rebelled at that instantly.
I don’t want a fairweather wife.
I want a wife who would be there in the best and worst times.
That’s the true test of love.
If your husband is hesitant to discuss certain topics with you, it may be because he has realized that discussing them with you will not help him.
It is sad, but this is one of the reasons some husbands feel they can’t talk to their wives.
When these prickly topics arise, they just evade them tactically to avoid causing more problems.
3. He is constantly seeking for solitude
Solitude is the comfort of a man who does not want to talk.
Introverts know this a lot.
When you don’t want to talk, you go to quiet places to think and reflect.
I usually do this, especially after spending long hours in the company of other people.
I just look for a quiet spot to stay.
Everyone needs this from time to time– time away from the noise of this world.
Everyone does this occasionally.
The problem with your husband is that he does it all the time.
He is constantly withdrawing and seeking solitude from you.
When he is at home, he just wants to spend time alone.
He wants to watch the news on TV in peace.
He wants to watch sports on TV without any interruption, and when he is done, he wants to sleep.
If he has done this for a long time, you may be tempted to say, ” He is always like that.”
But the truth is, he was not always like that, and it is important to discover why he suddenly seems to be in love with solitude.
He might feel that being alone with his problems is better than trying to communicate with you and being misunderstood.
4. He prefers to seek advice from others
There could be several reasons for this.
Some men are egoistical, so they believe they can’t get advice from women.
Thankfully, with enlightenment, the number of such men is reducing.
However, if your husband used to talk to you about his opinions, feelings, and challenges in the past but suddenly stopped, it is a sign that something is wrong.
It gets even worse if he prefers to ask others for advice than talk to you.
You are meant to be your husband’s confidant.
If that’s not the situation in your relationship, it is a sign that things are already going south and should be addressed immediately.
Your husband shouldn’t ever have to feel like he can’t talk to you.
So, the best thing to do is to create an environment that encourages him to confide in you.
I had a friend who always wanted us to confide in her, but she was always judgemental.
So, we stopped confiding her at some point, and she would occasionally say, “Nobody tells me anything anymore.”
How do you expect us to tell you anything?
5. He is increasingly irritable
When you feel like you can’t communicate with your partner, you face everything head-on without assistance from them.
Regardless of how successful you are at surmounting your challenges, the fact that you are doing it alone may begin to make you feel some level of resentment for your partner.
It is just normal.
If your husband is easily irritable or short-tempered, it could be a sign that he has a lot of unresolved emotions.
When a man feels he can’t talk to his wife, he keeps his problems to himself, which can lead to a buildup of resentment.
When a man is resentful, he gets easily annoyed at you.
The things you would get away with previously may cause an explosion that may seem surprising.
Pay attention to what triggers these reactions; it might be a clue to the underlying issues.
6. He exhibits the “fine” syndrome
A friend asked me how I was doing and intentionally added that she didn’t want the generic response of “fine.”
She wanted me to tell her everything that was going on and when I started talking, I realized that I actually wasn’t fine at the time.
I would have answered with the standard “fine” response if she hadn’t asked for a detailed response.
A sign that your husband feels he can’t talk to you is when his response to every question about his well-being is “fine.”
We all want to be fine all the time, but no one can always be fine.
The fact that he has chosen not to tell you about his struggles shows that he actually feels he can’t talk to you.
7. He is dismissive
When a man feels he can’t talk to his wife, he becomes dismissive.
He minimizes her concerns and makes her feel her worries are not valid.
One time I was going through a really tough phase and a friend noticed that I was struggling.
But when she expressed her concerns, I dismissed them because I didn’t want to share my struggles with her.
When a man dismisses your concerns or says, “It’s not a big deal,” it is a sign that he feels he can’t talk to you about what he is going through.
If you were just a friend to him, this wouldn’t have been such a concern.
But as a wife, the thought that your husband feels he can’t confide in you has to be really disturbing.
So, what do you do in this situation?
The first thing you should do is to ensure that your home and your relationship are safe spaces for open and honest communication.
Let your husband know that his feelings and thoughts are valid and important.
Approach conversations with empathy and without judgment.
Also, you need to practice active listening.
When your husband speaks, really listen.
Show that you’re engaged by nodding, making eye contact, and responding thoughtfully.
Avoid interrupting or jumping to conclusions.
Sometimes, just knowing that you’re truly listening can make a world of difference.
You can also encourage your husband to share his feelings by being open about yours, too.
If, after all these, the communication issues still persist, you can consider seeking the help of a professional counselor or therapist.
They can provide valuable strategies to improve communication and strengthen your relationship.
Reconnecting with your husband may take a lot of intentional efforts.
But it’s an investment worth making, so you both can enjoy a successful and healthy marriage where everyone feels heard and understood.