An African proverb in my local dialect says, “If there’s no crack in a wall, lizards can’t have access to the wall.”
It’s usually said in the context of marriage to mean that if couples don’t create access, intruders can not come in between them.
These days, many marriages fall apart easily due to the negative effects of intruders. Intruders are not only people; they can be anything.
Couples have the responsibility of keeping these encroachers away from their marriage.
Today, we’ll look at things from the man’s perspective.
What should a married man never allow to come between him and his spouse?
Nothing should be allowed to come in between them, but let us look at some specifics.
11 Things A Married Man Should Never Allow To Come Between Him And His Spouse
1. Work
For a lot of men, their work is like their second wife.
In fact, for some men, the work almost replaces the actual wife.
Men give much time and dedication to their work because they derive a sense of fulfillment from chasing the bag.
Also, no thanks to the financial pressure and burden a lot of men have to deal with.
However, a married man needs to know how to strike a balance and not let his work interfere with his relationship with his spouse.
Some men prioritize their woman over work only in the dating phase or when they’re still chasing her.
Once she becomes their wife, she takes the back seat while work takes the front.
This can have bad effects on the marriage.
2. Third parties
Third parties also include his family.
A married man shouldn’t give unnecessary access to third parties and external influences in his marriage.
And they don’t necessarily have to be negative influences or people.
Even loved ones, family members, friends, or colleagues should be made to understand that boundaries exist and can’t just come between a man and his wife.
It’s essential that men prioritize their marriage and not let others interfere unnecessarily.
3. Other women
Can I get a mic to make this louder for the married men seated at the back to hear?
Dear married man, never let another woman come in between you and your wife.
Never let that happen.
Infidelity is bad, hurtful, inexcusable, and can leave terrible and indelible negative marks on your marriage.
The devastating effects side chicks have caused to many happy homes can’t be fully explained.
Homes fall apart because a man is not able to overcome the temptation of another woman’s bosom and thighs.
A man must be determined to prevent another woman from coming between him and his wife.
Sometimes, it’s not even about cheating.
Just hanging around a woman your wife isn’t comfortable with or prioritizing her over your wife can do equal damage.
It’s important to remain committed and faithful to your spouse.
4. Lack of communication
Lack of communication is a malignant cancer that seems benign at the beginning but ends up eating deep into the fabric of whatever marriage it’s allowed into.
The burden of communication doesn’t lie on one person’s shoulders; it’s both parties’ responsibility.
A married man shouldn’t sit back and relax when the communication in his marriage is waning.
He should never let a communication breakdown come between him and his wife.
He should be open and free to talk about feelings, concerns, and needs.
5. Unforgiveness
Misunderstandings and disagreements are not unusual, but they’re not meant to linger.
When unforgiveness steps into a marriage, it creates resentment and can tear a couple apart.
A married man should avoid this tension in his marriage by embracing forgiveness.
Addressing issues promptly and finding solutions together is the way forward in any marriage.
Holding onto grudges and refusing to forgive will only create a toxic environment in the marriage.
If allowed, unforgiveness can come in between a man and his wife.
6. His bad habits
We all have flaws and not-so-great habits.
Nobody can claim to be perfect, but what makes an adult responsible is the ability to recognize when their excesses are negatively impacting their important relationships and nip it in the bud.
Bad habits such as dishonesty and lying, lack of support, addiction, neglect, ego, insecurity, and selfishness can each create a strain between a man and his spouse.
It doesn’t stop there.
Other habits, such as lack of appreciation, silent treatment, lack of empathy, rudeness, and so on, to mention but a few, are also implicated in this.
A man’s negative habits may be manageable when he’s single or just dating, but in marriage, they can become such an issue that they tear the marriage apart if not stopped.
7. Overfamiliarity
“See finish” is among the first-grade marriage killers.
It’s subtle in its working because it may not make the marriage end, but it’ll make it stale and unexciting.
A married man has to ensure that over-familiarity doesn’t step into his marriage.
He is to create a determination within himself to see his wife as fresh and new every day, discovering new and exciting things about her daily.
Failure to do this can make him get used to her and feel like he’s seen all there is to her, so there’s no more excitement or fun.
This, in turn, will lead to disrespect, which is another huge gap creator between couples.
Treating your partner with respect, dignity, and kindness is nonnegotiable.
A man must not allow disrespect to come between him and his wife. Belittling or demeaning behavior and arrogant words should be kept very far away.
8. Finances
For some reason, when some men go through financial challenges, their behavior changes.
The impact of their unpleasant reality makes them act weirdly.
Similarly, when some men seem to be having it good in their bank accounts, it alters their behavior.
A married man should understand that money is important but not as important as their marriage and thus prevent it from coming between them and their wife.
Your wife should be your priority, whether you’re in abundance or not in a good financial place.
Hopefully, your money is not the only reason she married you.
You both can work together as a team when the chips are down, manage your finances, and make decisions that are in the best interest of the marriage.
9. Distance
Long-distance relationships are hard; how much more long-distance marriages?
But if a couple finds themselves plunged into long-distance, the best they can do is make the best of the situation.
The fact that they’re holding on to each other regardless of the distance is a sign that what they share is strong.
A married man should always remember where his commitment and loyalty lie no matter how far he is from his wife.
His heart must remain connected to her.
10. Lack of intimacy
Lack of intimacy can come between a couple and make them seem like strangers.
That’s because intimacy is an integral part of marriage.
Sex is great, but intimacy is not limited to sex.
It can be physical, but it can also be emotional, communicating, bonding, and nurturing their connection.
A married man who wants his relationship with his wife to thrive must be determined not to let a lack of intimacy come between him and his wife.
11. Unrealistic expectations
It takes a good level of maturity to admit that sometimes life doesn’t work as it does in our heads.
And this doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have expectations and desire great and nice things in your life and marriage.
It just means that even when your reality isn’t what you want yet, you should be willing to embrace it as long as it’s not toxic or life-threatening while you work towards the reality you desire.
If a married man keeps his mind fixated on what he thought marriage would look like and how his reality isn’t matching it, he will create distance between him and his wife.
And this can lead to a plethora of other issues.
To maintain a healthy and strong relationship, a good husband would ensure that the abovementioned things do not come between him and his wife.