8 Things Guys Say When They Are Cheating

Cheating is a despicable act.

While many men may have excuses for why they have cheated on their partners, the truth is that there is no excuse for cheating.

Cheating is never okay, no matter the situation.

This is why no one tells a lie as much as a cheating man.

Lies and gaslighting are just normal everyday tools in the hands of men who cheat.

And because their partners love them, they are very inclined to believe the lies and feel guilty for not trusting them.

The saddest part is that when they are finally caught in the act, cheating not only hurts their partners.

It also makes them question their judgment.

How could they have been so blind?

How did they not catch on to the signs instantly?

It is a terrible phase to go through, but they would have to learn to trust their own judgement once again.

Anyway, I am here to save you the stress and the hurt of going through all that.

Most guys usually follow a predictable script when they are being unfaithful.

If you have ever had the gut feeling that something is off, there are some classic lines you need to pay attention to.

Because sometimes, what they are not saying is louder than what they say, if you know what to listen for.

Here are the things guys say when they are cheating.

8 Things Guys Say When They Are Cheating

1. “We are just friends”

This is the oldest trick in the book.

I have lived for quite some time, and this line has never gone out of vogue.

Over the years, unfaithful men have used this excuse to justify inappropriate communication with the opposite sex.

This is the commonest line in the book.

Now, don’t get me all wrong.

I am not saying that your man shouldn’t have female friends.

Of course, he should.

You both need to maintain healthy friendships outside the relationship.

However, if their friendship is giving you sleepless nights, it could be a cause for concern.

If he spends so much time with her that he hardly has time for you, red flag!

If he does inappropriate things with her and says we are just friends, it’s a red flag!

If he talks to her at all hours of the day, even late at night, red flag alert!

If he is secretive with his communications with her, it’s a red flag!

And finally, if he gets so defensive every time you ask about her, it’s a red flag!

The truth is that if he is just friends with her, their relationship wouldn’t have any of these appearances of inappropriateness.

When a guy says “We are just friends” in this situation, he usually means “We are definitely more than friends, but if I say it confidently enough, maybe you will believe me”.

2. “You are being paranoid and insecure”

Now, don’t get it twisted, there are many insecure ladies who distrust their men because of their insecurities.

So, before you latch on to this, you must have ascertained that you are actually not insecure.

If you struggle with trusting your partner even when he hasn’t given you any reasons to distrust him, you may just be paranoid and insecure.

However, cheating guys use this phrase as a tool for gaslighting their partners.

It’s Gaslighting 101.

The simple translation is “I am doing something terrible, but I need you to doubt yourself instead of me”.

So, he says you are paranoid whenever you call his attention to the inappropriateness of some of his interactions with females.

I have seen this happen several times.

A few years back, I had a neighbor who was cohabiting with his girlfriend.

They used to act so much in love that you wouldn’t even expect anyone to cheat on the other.

At some point, the guy started entertaining ideas and playing around with a certain lady who happened to be their coursemate.

His girlfriend wasn’t cool with his relationship with her and started complaining about it, but he made her feel like she was overthinking things.

One day, she finally realized that she wasn’t overthinking things and that he was actually actively having an affair with the other lady.

The realization shattered her.

The truth is that if your intuition is screaming that something is wrong, don’t let him convince you that it’s all in your head.

Especially when his actions just keep on raising doubts all the time.

Cheaters love making their partners question their judgment to avoid being held accountable for their actions.

Once a man can mess with your mind, he can practically control you.

All he needs to do is to make subtle suggestions to you.

3. “I need space”

That sudden need for space…

I think many females have experienced this in their relationships.

It can be quite annoying and frustrating when a man demands space unexpectedly.

The truth is, I am a guy, and I get the need for space.

Everyone needs space from time to time, but “space” doesn’t have to mean ghosting and disappearing for weeks.

That’s no longer a need for space.

It is beginning to resemble something more sinister.

When a guy expresses a sudden and unexplained need for space or “time to figure out” a nameless matter, it could be a sign of danger.

It could be an attempt to get the freedom to do whatever they want without you noticing.

Because it is more difficult to cheat with you breathing down his neck all the time.

So, if he has consistently asked for space within a short period of time and has disappeared during those periods, it could be a sign that he is cheating and his demands for space are just an attempt to get the freedom he needs to cheat without looking over his shoulders.

4. “Work is just really busy right now”

Don’t get me wrong, work can indeed get so busy that it could reduce the amount of time you spend with your partner.

I am not trying to dispute that.

So, don’t just start disbelieving your man because he says work has been busy.

Work can truly be busy.

However, if things are so terrible that he is missing dates, spending late nights at the office all the time, and going off the grid without any heads-up, this can’t just be a result of an increased workload.

These signs are suspicious, and something other than work is to be blamed for his absence.

Work is good, but in the hands of a cheater, it becomes a dangerous tool.

It is a way to disappear for hours or days without any explanation.

He could be going on a weekend trip with his flame, but he could tell you he is going to attend a work conference.

The sad thing about this is that most of the time, you have no way to confirm if it is true.

However, in all of these, you should also note that he could truly be going to a work conference.

So, if you haven’t seen suspicious signs of cheating in your relationship, it is important that you don’t just start doubting everything your man says.

5. “My phone battery died”

One time, I had this particularly toxic relationship with a lady.

That relationship was a struggle.

The funny thing was that she told me that she had cheated on her previous boyfriend, but I felt it was nothing.

I must have been thinking that I would be a better boyfriend.

I really did think she wasn’t going to cheat on me.

And in the beginning, things were fine.

However, at some point, everything just went sideways.

She would just go off-grid without saying a word and return days later, saying that there was a blackout in their area that lasted for days.

I know this may be surprising to you, but I could relate with the excuse.

Electricity outages are quite normal in my country.

Well, it turned out that I was naive because she later confessed to me that her disappearances had nothing to do with electricity issues and everything to do with some other guy.

I was devastated.

So, I am including this based on my experience.

In 2025, saying your phone died every time has to be the lamest excuse ever.

His phone dies too often to be realistic.

He is usually unreachable at weird times, and the only thing he can tell you is “My phone died.”?

His phone battery is not the issue.

His loyalty is the issue.

When people use this excuse too often, it usually means “I was with someone else and couldn’t risk you calling”.

6. “Trust me”

It is not wrong or unusual for a man to want his partner to trust him.

Trust is very important in relationships.

Without trust, a relationship is on the verge of collapsing.

However, trust is not something that can be demanded.

It has to be earned first, and that’s the problem.

When some guys say “trust me”, they are saying “I am not trustworthy, but you just have to trust me”.

I remember one time, a guy was complaining to us about his girlfriend.

He said she didn’t trust him and was always accusing him of cheating.

The other guys were sympathetic to him, but my response was shock.

This guy was actually cheating on his girlfriend, and we all knew it, yet he felt that he could complain to us about being distrusted.

When I mentioned this, everyone turned against me.

You would have thought that I was the guilty person.

When a guy says “trust me” and his actions say the opposite, it is a sign that he doesn’t deserve the trust.

Men who cheat say things like this and even try to guilt-trip their partners to ensure that they don’t get questioned all the time.

7. “I have just been really stressed”

Stress happens.

We can’t just discount the role of stress in the tension you feel in your relationship.

Stress could make him short-tempered and preoccupied.

However, if this happens all the time, it is beginning to look really suspicious.

How can a person always be stressed out?

That’s no way to live life and build a relationship.

So, if he is distant all the time, picks fights with you over trivial things, and avoids any form of intimacy, it could be a sign that he is cheating.

He may just be redirecting his guilt into frustration with you.

Either way, if he is always stressed, it is worth looking into.