No one lies better than a man trying to hide the fact that he is cheating.
Let’s face the truth: all men having an affair know that they are doing a terrible thing, hence the need to keep it hidden.
Most men who cheat can say or do just about anything to hide the fact that they are cheating.
I said “most men” because I know a man who doesn’t even bother to hide it anymore.
He brings the women to the house in broad daylight like he is daring his wife to get angry and leave the marriage.
So far, she hasn’t…
To the consternation of myself and perhaps the whole community.
Anyway, my point is that most men do all sorts of things to keep their affairs hidden.
They hide their devices, meet at faraway restaurants and hotels, and yes, they lie a lot!
Trust me, the lies can be really creative.
I mean, cheaters can think up lies on the spur of the moment.
Lies that unsuspecting partners may believe without asking too many questions.
However, there is a pattern to their lies that is only evident to the really observant or those who have experienced infidelity in the past.
There are some common phrases that they use frequently to hide their clandestine affairs.
We will look at some of these common phrases and how they can be used by men to avoid getting caught in an affair.
8 Things Men Say To Avoid Getting Caught In An Affair
1. “She’s just a friend.”
Now, this is the most overused phrase by cheating men.
Why do they like it?
It’s very easy to say it in a rush, and most of the time, you don’t even need evidence to prove that she is actually just a friend.
All they need to do is say it with that disappointed tone of voice that makes their wives feel like they are being unnecessarily insecure.
Well, the truth is that no one expects a man to have an affair with his enemy.
So, of course, she is a friend!
But do they behave like they are just friends, or is there something else happening behind the scenes – something you don’t seem to understand?
So, one time, I was feeling attracted to this friend of mine.
The worst part was that I was in a relationship with someone else.
I kept reminding myself that I had a girlfriend, which worked for some time until it stopped.
I was beginning to gravitate towards this friend of mine.
We talked for long hours every day –hours my girlfriend thought I was spending in work meetings.
She so enthralled me that my girlfriend knew something was happening.
She just didn’t know what it was, and whenever she asked me about my closeness to the other lady, guess what I answered with?
“She is just a friend!”
Well, I knew she was more than that.
I mean, I was already having a full-blown emotional affair with her.
If your husband has a suspicious relationship with a woman and his only explanation is that she is just a friend, she may be more than a friend.
This is especially true if he gets angry when you probe too much.
When men are trying to avoid being caught in an affair, this is their go-to phrase.
2. “You’re overthinking things.”
The truth is that you may actually be overthinking the relationship between your husband and the other woman.
It is a possibility.
However, even cheating men say this to turn the tables on their wives when accused of cheating.
It is a way of making their wives doubt their instincts.
Back then, at university, I had a neighbor who was cohabiting with his girlfriend.
He was quite close to me, so I was privy to most of the events in his relationship.
There was this time, he met a new girl.
He came back home and was gushing about the girl to me.
He started talking to her and apparently, his conversations with her were far from just friendly.
So, he would come to my room to have video calls with her.
He would tell his girlfriend he wanted to hang out with me, but he was actually calling another girl, flirting with her, and telling her he was single.
Well, one day, his girlfriend almost caught him, and when she kept asking him what he was doing, he said he was just hanging out with me.
She pointed out that I was on a long call myself.
He said she was overthinking things and that he was just waiting for me to be done with the call.
When a woman becomes suspicious of her man and asks questions, guilty men usually respond with, “Baby, you are just overthinking things. Nothing is happening.”
The truth is that you may actually be overthinking things, so don’t just take this phrase as confirmation that he is cheating.
Many men who don’t cheat use that phrase as well.
So, how do you spot the difference?
These are common signs a man is cheating.
Don’t accuse a man of cheating because he said you are overthinking!
3. “I’m working late again tonight.”
Cheaters usually spend little time at home because of their busy “extramarital” activities.
No wife will endure being with a man who is hardly present without asking questions about his whereabouts.
Well, when you ask a cheater about their whereabouts, he tells you a lie because saying the truth is usually not an option.
Excuses for absenteeism are one of the most important tools in the cheater’s bag of tricks.
One of the most infamous excuses of all time is “I’m working late, babe”.
Working late has long been a favorite excuse for cheaters.
There are several reasons for this.
Apart from the fact that it is very comfortable to tell your wife that you had to do extra work while you were actually spending quality time with another woman, this is an excuse many wives won’t question.
We live in a world where people have “9-5” on their employment contracts but work time may extend an hour or two longer on some specific days.
There are men who are truly working late but the issue with this phrase is that it has long become the favorite alibi for cheaters.
“Babe, why are you just coming home?”
“I was working late. Sorry, I was so swamped I didn’t even think of informing you ahead.”
The ambiguity of this simple excuse is what makes it an ingenious tool in the hands of cheaters.
It is ambiguous, but she won’t investigate it further because even if she asks for specifics, he already has something vaguely detailed to say.
This particular phrase is one that almost every working-class cheater has used.
It doesn’t mean that your husband doesn’t have times when he actually has to work late.
But the truth is that it can’t be a frequent occurrence.
If it is a frequent event, you need to be alert.
Something is probably wrong somewhere.
4. “I’ll be out with the guys.”
It is normal for a man to want to spend time with his friends.
I hate going out but still hang out with my friends sometimes.
In fact, after several months of hardly going anywhere, I am usually happy to go out and have fun with the guys.
I meet up with my guys every few months.
I would like to think that things will remain like this even after marriage.
The fact that he says he is hanging out with the guys is not the problem.
The real problem is that he seems to be hanging out with the guys almost every day.
That’s a red flag.
No matter how close they are, they can’t be hanging out every day.
That’s for young boys to do.
Men have a whole lot of other things to do other than hang out with the guys that frequently.
Cover stories involving a night out with male friends can be a smokescreen for illicit rendezvous.
Especially when it happens very frequently.
It could be a way of “innocently” accounting for the hours he spends away from home.
It is also a way of conditioning you for future occurrences.
The next time he disappears without notice, you may even be the one making excuses for him.
“He is probably with the guys.”
You would say this with a tired smile because even you can’t understand why married men need to hang out with each other so frequently.
5. “I am just taking some time for myself.”
I am an advocate for personal space in any relationship, even in marriage.
People usually need personal space to focus on other things like their careers and personal development.
As great as personal space may be, it could also be a weapon in the hands of a cheater.
When a cheating man uses this phrase, he uses it to carve out a large chunk of undisturbed time to do anything he wants.
It shifts attention from his unexplained absences because they make perfect sense in the light of his need for space.
I used this excuse myself when I was dealing with being attracted to my friend while I was in a relationship.
I used the excuse on my girlfriend so I could spend more time with my friend.
Things never got physical between my friend and me, but at some point, everyone around us commented on our closeness.
I think I could have given what we had any label, but the actual truth is that I had an emotional affair with my friend.
A demand for space by your husband could be a way of avoiding getting caught in an affair.
Yes, it could.
Does this mean you shouldn’t give him personal space?
No!
The truth is that the idea of personal space in marriage is not bad.
It also doesn’t involve unexplained absences.
People need to understand what it means.
It means alone time to reflect on life.
You could be in the same room with your partner and still have personal space.
So, don’t be deceived!
6. “You are jealous.”
Now, a little bit of jealousy isn’t bad for any relationship.
However, when it becomes irrational, it becomes a problem.
While this phrase can be a way for cheating men to avoid being caught in an affair, it could also be true.
So, you need to examine yourself.
Are you truly seeing anything suspicious or just jealous that your husband is attentive to someone else?
If you have answered this satisfactorily and the answer is you are not being irrationally jealous of any other person your husband interacts with, it could be a sign that something is wrong.
Cheating husbands usually accuse their wives of jealousy to avoid being scrutinized.
Suggesting that their wives’ suspicions are borne of jealousy is a way of diverting attention from answering their suspicions to something else entirely.
Cheating men usually do this to suggest that their wives’ accusations are caused by insecurity and not backed by adequate proof.
Introducing another topic is a classic way of dodging a problematic question!
Cheaters are usually great at doing this.
7. “You are cheating on me.”
If there is one thing cheaters excel at, it is projecting their actions on you.
Sometimes, it is not even done intentionally.
I discovered that people who do evil things usually suspect others.
This is because they can no longer maintain a pure outlook on life.
So, a husband who cheats on his wife may think she is also cheating on him because of his actions.
One time, an ex was cheating on me, and I didn’t even suspect her.
I just knew that there were times when she would go days without communicating, but I didn’t think anything of it.
She usually had excuses for those days.
Until she confessed to me one day.
I was disappointed, and that was the end of the relationship, but I never accused her of cheating once because the idea didn’t even cross my mind.
If your husband just seems to accuse you of cheating out of the blue without any evidence, it could be a way of hiding the fact that he is cheating himself.
So, instead of addressing your suspicions, he manipulates you into defending yourself and trying to prove your loyalty.
It is really diabolical.
8. “Your distrust is going to scatter this marriage.”
This phrase is right on one hand- distrust destroys relationships.
It suffocates love until the couples can no longer even remember why they fell in love with each other in the first place.
However, it is not a lack of trust to ask questions when you notice suspicious behaviors.
It is not a lack of trust to ask for your husband’s whereabouts.
It is part of your right as a wife.
If your husband responds to these questions by accusing you of being distrustful, this could be a sign that he is trying to hide something.
Defensiveness is usually the first response of a guilty person.
Ultimately, these are the stock phrases used by cheating men to avoid getting caught in an affair.
Of course, it’s important to note that these phrases are not exclusive to men; deception knows no gender.
Innocent men also use some of the phrases above.
So, you should note that these phrases are not evidence of guilt.
However, we all should also note that the best antidote to suspicion is honesty, transparency, and open communication.
Sometimes, the crisis people experience in marriage could have been averted if they had only applied these three things to their relationships.
Remember, trust is the foundation of any successful relationship.
When it is eroded, the relationship begins to experience issues.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of these phrases, perhaps it’s time for a heart-to-heart with your husband.
Let’s leave the secrecy for the CIA and rather embrace transparency in our relationships.