“Men can’t stay faithful in marriage!”
“Men are polygamous in nature.”
If I had a dollar for every time I have heard a woman say these things, I would be a millionaire.
Sadly, certain women have just come to accept unfaithfulness as part of the nature of men.
The truth is that no gender has a polygamous nature.
This is merely a means for weak and undisciplined individuals to justify their reprehensible actions.
Men can stay faithful in marriages.
It’s not necessarily easy to be faithful in a relationship, but it’s possible.
In a world full of distractions, temptations, and ever-changing priorities, staying faithful requires more than just love—it takes commitment and effort from the man.
Wives also play a part in ensuring their husbands remain faithful.
You don’t get a faithful husband by just wishing and praying for one.
You get a faithful husband when his commitment and dedication to the marriage also coincide with your understanding and doing the things that truly keep a man devoted to his wife.
Marriage is basically teamwork.
Everyone has a part to play, and if you want to have a faithful husband, here are some important things that can help a man stay faithful in marriage.
7 Things That Make A Man Stay Faithful In Marriage
1. Mutual respect
Women want to be loved, while men just want to be respected in marriage.
I remember arguing with some guys on this.
I disagreed with the statement on the basis that everyone desires respect in relationships.
They also want to be loved, regardless of their gender.
Basically, I don’t believe people can love each other without having mutual respect for each other.
If love exists without respect, it is a toxic form of love.
Run for your life.
My reservations aside, I believe one of the key factors that ensures a man’s faithfulness is respect.
Respect is the foundation of a lasting marriage.
Men love to be respected in their marriages.
And while we have many men who do not deserve the respect they seek, there are several men who are truly deserving of respect.
To keep this type of men faithful, it is important that their wives respect them.
Men love to be valued in their relationships.
When they feel valued, they are more likely to remain loyal.
They don’t just want to be valued for their role as providers.
They want to be appreciated as a person and partner.
So, if you want to have a faithful husband, you must realize and harness the power of simple acts of appreciation.
You can thank him for his efforts and acknowledge his strengths.
This is the way to reinforce his commitment.
It is a way of saying, “I see you and all you do. I do not take you for granted.”
There is no greater form of respect than this.
Respect isn’t just about submission in marriage.
However, this brings me to another important expression of respect in marriage.
Submission.
In our day and time, this is gradually becoming more of a rarity.
I think the issue most people have with submission is that they don’t seem to understand what it means.
When they hear a submissive wife, they just instantly think of a robot being controlled by her husband.
This is far from the truth.
Submission actually involves being attentive to your husband’s opinions.
Including your husband in decision-making and deferring to him when he is right doesn’t make you a robot.
It makes you a wise person.
Women with faithful husbands know the importance of ensuring that their husbands feel involved in their lives.
This doesn’t make you any less independent; just as asking for your input doesn’t make him dependent.
2. Intimacy beyond the bedroom
Intimacy makes a relationship thrive, and while physical intimacy matters, it takes more than physical intimacy to keep a man faithful.
Does this mean that a lack of physical intimacy can’t be a factor in infidelity?
Of course not.
But the truth is, as much as several men have been unfaithful to their wives because of a lack of physical intimacy, there are several other men who have been unfaithful to their wives even when they enjoy an abundance of physical intimacy.
So, what keeps a man faithful?
A combination of both physical and emotional intimacy is important in keeping a man faithful.
So, don’t just focus on intimacy in the bedroom while being negligent about other areas.
It would be a terrible mistake.
Talk to your husband well.
Ensure that you are being vulnerable with each other because the truth is that we can’t truly understand other people until we really know them.
A man stays faithful when he feels desired and understood by his wife.
There is a level of connection that can be established between couples that makes faithfulness their default disposition.
You can build this connection by having deep and meaningful conversations, having occasional date nights, and engaging in shared activities like playing tennis from time to time, jogging together if you both enjoy staying fit, or even reading the same book and discussing it together.
Of course, don’t forget that physical intimacy also extends beyond the bedroom.
So, express your affection for him with little gestures, hold his hands, hug him, cuddle with each other, and leave little romantic notes lying around for him.
These gestures are very effective at ensuring your husband remains faithful.
Show him all the love he needs, and he will remain faithful to you.
3. Fostering a strong sense of partnership
Of all of my friends in school, I think I am still strongly connected to only one.
The reason for this is that she wasn’t just a friend who was around for the good times.
She showed up for me during those periods when things weren’t working well.
She made me realize that when she said, “We are in this together”, she meant it.
Marriage is a team effort.
It requires partnership.
When a man sees his wife as his true partner – someone who supports him, challenges him, and stands by him — he has no reason to look elsewhere.
People think that being married already proves you are partners.
Well, it does.
However, you must continue to show up every day to reinforce this idea.
This is the same for men, too.
You have to keep on showing that you have their best interests at heart.
Marriage is always a work in progress, and the way partners can prove that they are truly partners is the way they face the challenges of life together.
The keyword is “together”.
Sometimes, you may feel the need to blame your husband for something.
Please don’t.
Partners work together for the glory of the partnership, and when they face challenges, they try to ensure that they surmount the challenges together.
When you work with your husband towards achieving shared dreams and goals while facing life challenges without playing the blame game, you are highly guaranteed his faithfulness.
4. A happy and fulfilling marriage
We can talk about commitment and partnership all we want, but we have to face the truth – no one wants to stay in an unhappy marriage.
This is why I mentioned earlier that couples have their work cut out for them in marriage.
If you want a faithful husband, then you must first create an atmosphere that inspires faithfulness in him.
A man stays faithful to his wife when he is genuinely happy.
Marriage should be like an extended journey with your best friend.
It should be full of laughter, adventure, friendship, and shared joy.
When your marriage is like this, it will inspire faithfulness in your husband.
I’m not saying that everything has to be perfect in your marriage.
Of course, there will be times when things don’t go as you plan.
There will be periods of disagreement.
However, the periods of happiness should occur more frequently than periods of conflict.
It is also important to handle conflicts the right way.
One time, a man was talking about his relationship.
I was younger, and the way he described his marriage almost made me view marriage as an unpleasant relationship.
He mentioned that his wife had chosen him over another man she had been involved with in the past.
He felt like a conqueror then.
Finally, he was the best man in “May the Best Man Win,” but several years later, he regretted being the best man.
He was firmly in the middle class, with almost no hope of ever stepping into the upper class of society in terms of income, and he was comfortable with this.
But his wife wasn’t.
She started nagging and comparing him to other men, calling him lazy and making the house unpleasant for him.
He started to spend more time away from home because his house was no longer a safe space for him.
Several years later, the man was struggling with thoughts of infidelity and unhappiness in an unfulfilling marriage.
Dear wives and husbands, inspiring faithfulness is not an issue.
The issue is ensuring that you are someone who deserves faithfulness.
Introspect on your conduct in your marriage and ask yourself if you would stay in a relationship with someone who acts that way.
This is the best way to know if you are on track.
5. Open communication
Communication is key in relationships.
It is funny that for something that is meant to be so natural, communication is that aspect of relationships that many couples make a mess of.
Communication is not just talking and listening.
It is expressing yourself in a way that your partner will understand easily and listening to understand your partner.
In a marriage, it is important that couples talk about anything and everything.
Conversations should be honest, open, and constructive.
So, if you realize that you communicate more to your husband with silent treatments and cold shoulders, you are not helping your relationship.
I recall a time when I had a relationship with a woman who believed I was a mind reader.
She would suddenly become silent and act coldly without warning.
She usually did this for hours or days before she would speak about what was wrong.
Initially, I was quite worried, but eventually, I stopped worrying because I knew that if I didn’t, I would start developing wrinkles and worry lines on my face at a young age.
At some point, I decided that it was better to end that relationship.
A relationship with a partner who struggles to communicate effectively can lead to numerous issues.
A man who enjoys open communication in his marriage is a happy man.
Marriage has its challenges.
You don’t have to add more with poor communication.
Open, honest communication builds trust and keeps the bond strong.
A man who feels emotionally connected to his wife is far less likely to stray.
The best way to achieve this strong emotional connection is through communication.
So, talk to your husband and encourage him to talk to you.
When he knows he can share his thoughts, fears, and dreams without judgment, he won’t seek that intimacy elsewhere.
6. Boundaries and accountability
Boundaries are not bad.
In fact, they are beneficial in marriages.
Smart couples set boundaries—not out of distrust, but out of respect.
Men like to be free, but that’s the problem.
When a man is married, he isn’t free to just do anything.
There should be boundaries in the relationship that apply to both partners.
There should be things that are considered appropriate and inappropriate in your relationship.
I have a rule.
In my relationships, I don’t accept that another guy can be my girlfriend’s or wife’s best friend.
That’s unacceptable.
And I don’t keep female best friends too.
Another boundary is that my girlfriend can only sleep over at a male friend’s house in the most strenuous of circumstances.
Perhaps, a storm caught her at his place.
Otherwise, she could stay in a hotel for the night.
Of course, if he is her relative, I am a lot more relaxed.
Now, those are just boundaries.
I don’t need to police her to ensure that she follows them because I trust that she will.
My point is that to ensure faithfulness in relationships, both partners must have boundaries and also be accountable to each other.
In this case, if there are clear boundaries for the kinds of situations that could be tagged as “compromising,” it helps.
Avoiding compromising situations, being transparent, and maintaining mutual accountability— without exerting control —help prevent temptation before it arises.
Boundaries and being accountable to each other will help you do this.
7. Personal integrity and core values
The truth is that sometimes you can do everything, and yet a man will still be unfaithful.
It is sad but true.
It’s not something that you can activate with your actions.
If it is not there, your actions may just be in vain.
A man who values honesty, loyalty, and self-discipline will uphold his vows because they align with who he is—not just because of fear or obligation.
His strong moral principles, as well as your supportive actions, keep him grounded in the relationship.
It’s not like there won’t be temptations.
However, when temptations arise, the power of integrity and self-discipline should never be underestimated.
It’s not an exact science, but from the outset of courtship, a man who may have issues being faithful is usually easy to spot.
He has issues keeping his eyes straight ahead.
He is flirtatious.
He is secretive.
He keeps female besties and says things like, “There is nothing I can’t do with my bestie. I can even be naked in front of her”.
Don’t take it as a sign of self-discipline.
Instead, see it for what it is: he is a man who has no idea how to maintain proper boundaries in relationships.
Ultimately, faithfulness is a choice.
Staying faithful isn’t about avoiding temptation—it’s about choosing love every single day.
It is about making the decision to remain with that one person, regardless of the challenges.
While it is a personal decision, wives also have their parts to play in helping their husbands make the decision.
After all, a strong marriage isn’t built on perfection but on two people who are fully committed to making things work, flaws and all.