One-sided love is no love at all.
Yeah, you can quote me anywhere.
I know how love can be so sweet and make people do crazy things.
Well, the craziest thing that love can make you do is to stay in a one-sided relationship with a guy just because you love him.
Dear ladies, you can’t love a man into loving you back.
That’s not how it works.
So, if you are constantly giving, loving, and making sacrifices in your relationship while he does nothing, you are just setting yourself up to be taken for granted.
This is not a trial of faith in the quest for love.
By the way, who even says you have to experience trials before you find love?
You bend over backward to keep things running smoothly, yet somehow, he seems to overlook the effort, the devotion, and the sheer magic you bring to his life.
It’s frustrating.
But instead of doubling down and attempting to do more to show him you deserve his love, maybe you need to ask yourself a crucial question: “Am I making it too easy for him to take me for granted?”
Answering this question will require a lot of quiet reflection and brutal honesty with yourself.
Trust me, I am here to help you answer that question faster.
Here are six common habits that could be silently giving him the green light to take you for granted, and how to handle this situation.
6 Things You Do That Make It Easy For Him To Take You For Granted
1. You are always available
Miss Reliable!
That’s your name.
This is because he can always rely on you to show up anytime he snaps his fingers to summon you.
He is inconsistent and never shows up for you, but you are not fazed by that.
You just want to show him how much of a gem you are.
Maybe then, he will be more committed to the relationship.
But until then, you drop everything for him.
You respond to his texts instantly, even while you ignore others.
You are down for long calls anytime he is, but he is never available when you want to really talk.
The best (worst?) part is how you rearrange your schedule all the time to accommodate him.
You can cancel plans at the last minute because he wants you to meet up with him.
In fact, you go out of your way to show up for him.
It’s all good if you do this for someone who reciprocates, but if he doesn’t, you are only passing one message across: “My time is not as valuable as yours”.
This is the unspoken message of your actions.
It won’t be so shocking if you complain one day and he says, “But you don’t really have much going on for you”.
It won’t be his fault because you have promoted that message right from the start.
What do you do instead?
There’s something called “matching people’s energy”.
I promise you, it’s not so hard to do.
Maintain a life of your own.
Do things by yourself.
Have plans with your friends and don’t cancel those plans last minute just to accommodate him.
Let him get the message that you also have important things to do with your time.
If he wants to meet with you, he should show a little bit of intentionality and plan ahead.
Being reliable is good, but it shouldn’t make you feel unappreciated.
2. You always say “yes” to him
The day you learn to tell people “no” when they want something that doesn’t fit into your plans is the day you gain freedom.
The truth is that you may say “yes” to people all the time because you have good intentions, but if you are not careful, you will be taken for granted by the people you are trying to help.
One of the major things you can do to make a guy take you for granted is to always say “yes” to him.
You are the go-to person for his plans, problems, and last-minute favors.
One time, I used to be like this with my friends, and I prided myself on my consistent support for them.
Several years later, I look back at those days and shake my head in disappointment.
I allowed myself to become a tool that could be used whenever they wanted.
They never turned up for me when I needed help because they always had excuses, and so I learned a valuable lesson.
I learned to say “no” when I needed to.
It gets even worse if he never reciprocates.
So, practice saying “no”.
You can’t always be the solution to his problems when you have yours to worry about.
3. You over give without getting anything in return
Recently, I have seen guys complain about how some ladies don’t know how to give gifts.
I understand where they are coming from because I have experienced my fair share of ladies who don’t gift, but love receiving gifts all the time.
From that kind, I would always advise any man to flee.
There is a different breed of ladies.
These ones love to give.
They give their love, attention, and gifts to their man, but the sad thing is that they are doing all of these for a man who never reciprocates.
They do it without expecting anything in return, and that’s so noble.
Love isn’t a transaction, so it really shouldn’t be about what you can get in return.
However, love is a two-way street, and you can’t just keep giving without receiving.
If you are always the one planning dates, initiating conversations, or showering him with affection while he barely reciprocates, he will start expecting it, not appreciating it.
That breeds an entitlement mentality in him…
The saddest part is that when you stop doing it, he may start trying to guilt-trip you into going back to being that girl.
What you can do in this situation is to match his energy.
If you are receiving the barest minimum in the relationship, give him the barest minimum.
Give him the chance to realize his errors and see if he will step up.
A man who values you won’t leave you to carry the relationship alone.
4. You ignore red flags
One of the surest ways to set yourself up to be taken for granted is for you to ignore red flags.
Red flags are red for a reason.
They are supposed to give you a halt, and if you are wise, they are supposed to stop you totally.
However, it is sad how many ladies ignore red flags in the guys they love.
In fact, they even make excuses for them.
It is not bad to make excuses for friends occasionally, just until you can find out the reason for their weird behavior.
But if you find yourself making excuses for him all the time, it is a sign of trouble.
“He is busy.”
“He is bad at texting.”
“He has been through a lot.”
These are some of the excuses you make for him daily.
While empathy is good, constantly justifying his lack of effort and excusing him only does one thing- it teaches him that he doesn’t have to do better because you are such an understanding partner.
Instead, you should learn to start holding him accountable.
He is a grown man and he should be responsible for his actions.
If his actions don’t align with his words, don’t hesitate to call him out.
A man who cares about you will adjust and not make you lower your standards.
You really have to teach him how to treat you the right way.
If you don’t, he will continue taking you for granted.
5. You rarely express your needs
I know some women can be unnecessarily needy.
You know this too, and because of this, you rarely express your needs in your relationship because you don’t want him to call you a needy person.
This is not right.
You are merely adopting another extreme because you want to avoid one extreme.
Behaving this way doesn’t help your relationship.
Instead, it sets the stage for him to take you for granted.
If you stay quiet to avoid “rocking the boat” or act like everything is fine when it’s not, he will assume that you are content with the relationship even when you are not.
He will continue doing the barest minimum until you tell him how you want to be treated.
He will do things to upset you and he won’t apologize because you acted like everything is fine.
This is not the right way to build a relationship.
It should not continue in your relationship.
You need to speak up.
Don’t just expect him to know how to treat you; tell him how you want him to treat you.
A healthy relationship thrives on open and honest communication.
If he reacts poorly to your honesty, then you should take it as a sign to get out of that toxic relationship as soon as possible.
However, if he takes your correction, it is a sign that he values and respects you.
6. You forgive too easily
Everyone makes mistakes in relationships.
This is why forgiveness is essential in relationships.
However, forgiveness shouldn’t be given away so cheaply.
It should only be given to people who are truly repentant.
A man who apologizes without truly changing is going to repeat the offense.
So, if he knows you will always forgive him, no matter how many times he disappoints you, he has no reason to change.
You forgive without him apologizing.
You forgive without him even knowing he has done something wrong.
You are just setting the stage for him to do the same thing to you over and over again without feeling any form of remorse.
Instead, you should start by setting clearly defined boundaries in the relationship.
And when he crosses those lines, let him win your trust back through consistent actions showing his remorse, not empty apologies.
Ultimately, the most important lesson you should learn from reading this article is that you teach people how to treat you by what you allow them to do to you.
If you have recognized yourself in any of these habits, it’s not too late to change things.
You can start by doing some of the things suggested above.
If he doesn’t change, then it is a sign that you need to leave because he doesn’t value you.
The right man won’t take you for granted—he will cherish you.
So, ask yourself: Am I making it easy for him to undervalue me?
And if the answer is yes, remember—you hold the power to change it.