People who know me will tell you that one of my favorite things to say is that humans are complicated.
I usually say this when discussing an issue about something someone did that seemed out of this world.
That’s why I sometimes have an issue with attempts to categorize us because I feel like that’s an oversimplification of the complicated human mind.
I mean, if we weren’t so complicated, who would think that a man would have a problem letting go of the other woman in his life?
Surely, if there is going to be a problem leaving anybody, it should be with the main person.
But like I said, we are complicated, and for that reason, a man might struggle to let go of the other woman in his life.
If you are in this shoe and are wondering why your man seems afraid to let go of the other woman, I will share the possible reasons here.
Why He’s Afraid To Let Go Of The Other Woman – 8 Reasons
1. He Has Built A Strong Bond With Her
Feelings are not always black and white.
Sometimes, we develop feelings for people we shouldn’t like or, in this case, in relationships that shouldn’t exist.
For example, I have always said I couldn’t be with someone of a different faith because I understand the stress involved and don’t want to go through it.
However, I ended up falling for someone of a different faith.
Although I didn’t end up dating him, I still fell for him as his friend and struggled to reject him.
I say that to say that sometimes, emotions run deep with the “wrong” people or in the wrong relationship.
So, a man can build a strong emotional bond with his other woman, especially if he has been with her for a while.
This can happen for so many reasons.
It could be because he feels like she understands him in ways no one else does, or maybe she is now his go-to person when he needs comfort and validation.
In that case, leaving her means losing that emotional bond he enjoys, and for some men, that’s scary.
This is because he’s not just walking away from a person but from shared moments, inside jokes, and a version of himself that he has come to enjoy in her presence.
2. She Has Something On Him
Another reason a man might be afraid to let the other woman in is that she might have dirt on him.
He could have confided in her about his past, dirty dealings, or even his relationship with you, and he’s terrified about those things coming to light.
On the one hand, maybe she noticed he was planning to leave and threatened him with it.
Conversely, she might not even be blackmailing him, but the fear of being exposed can keep him with her because he might think she will expose him if he leaves.
He might believe it’s easier to keep her happy by staying rather than risk the fallout that could come from her revealing the truth.
For some men, keeping that secret is more important than risking the consequences of making her unhappy.
3. He Is Afraid Of Confronting Her
As someone who hates confrontations, I will be the first person to tell you that although they are sometimes unhealthy, they are just easier.
So, if the man is not confrontational or shies away from it when he knows it could get messy, he would rather avoid it.
He has been with her, so he knows the kind of person she is.
If she is the type to react with anger, tears, or threats, he may feel like breaking things off is more trouble than it’s worth.
People who dread confrontation would not like to deal with the arguments, accusations, or emotional breakdown that might come with letting her go.
So, they would rather stick around than deal with the stress of ending things.
He will convince himself that avoiding the problem is easier than dealing with the drama.
4. He Is Afraid Of Losing The Excitement Of Being With Her
Have you ever heard the saying that the forbidden fruit is sweet?
Although I haven’t personally tested the theory, I have heard there is a certain thrill and excitement that comes with cheating.
The sneaking around, fear of being caught, and stolen moments give some people an adrenaline rush.
If a man’s main relationship has become monotonous or he is constantly in need of the next new thing to escape the reality of his life, it might be hard for him to give the other woman up.
Ending things with her would mean letting go of that rush, and while it doesn’t make sense to sane people, it is enough reason for some people.
He’s afraid that without her, he’ll go back to feeling ordinary, and that’s something a man like that is afraid to deal with.
5. She Fulfils A Need
At the risk of sounding like I am making a case for a man who is stuck with the other woman, a man might also hesitate to let go because she is fulfilling a need.
She may be filling an emotional need he is not getting at home or with the main woman.
For instance, if she validates him, makes him feel valued and appreciated, and gives him affection that he is not getting from the first lady, he might be afraid to let that go.
It could also be a superficial need like sex or even money or connection.
A man might stay with a woman because she fulfills a fantasy he thinks his main woman might be too vanilla to fulfill, or she has access to money and connections that serve him.
In such a situation, he will be afraid to let such a woman go, as that would mean losing out on what he has come to enjoy.
6. They Have A Child Together
When a child is involved in a relationship, things are not often as easy as just breaking up with the woman.
There is now a flesh and blood to consider – one that will always tie them together.
And the fact that a man is a cheat doesn’t always mean he wants to be a dead-beat dad who can completely cut ties from his seed.
Of course, some can, but not every man does that.
So, if there is a child involved, he might feel obligated to stay connected.
You may say he doesn’t have to stay with her to take care of his child, and you will be right.
However, for whatever reason, he could be afraid of being a part-time dad or worried she’ll make co-parenting difficult if he leaves, especially if he knows she could.
He might also grow a conscience and not want to disrupt the child’s life, or he may want to avoid dealing with legal battles or judgment from others, especially if the child is unknown and she threatens to expose him if he leaves.
7. He Is Afraid To Self-Reflect
Walking away means facing the truth, and that’s not easy for everyone.
If he lets go of her, he has to confront why he got involved in the first place.
Not everybody likes to look in the mirror and face the hard truths.
Self-reflection is uncomfortable for him, as he will have to admit he’s been selfish, careless, or unfair to both women.
So, instead of taking responsibility for his actions, he may choose to stay in the situation because it’s easier to deal with.
8. She Manipulates Him To Stay With Her
Not every woman in an affair plays fair.
If she’s manipulative, she knows exactly how to keep him stuck to her.
She could play the victim, guilt-trip him, make him feel responsible for her happiness, or even threaten to hurt herself if he leaves.
And if he’s not strong enough to set boundaries, he’ll keep getting pulled back in, even when he knows it’s not where he should be.