Men are usually expected to be strong, confident, and secure.
But the truth is that many men deal with insecurity in their lives, including in their relationships.
Dating an insecure guy is exhausting, especially if he’s not open to taking any steps toward becoming more secure.
You feel like you’re always walking on eggshells or trying to reassure him that you care about him and that he’s worthy of you.
Yet it never seems to be enough.
Well, if you love your boyfriend, but he’s insecure, and you want to help him build confidence and trust, here are a few simple tips you can use to make sure he feels more secure in your relationship.
8 Effective Tips for Helping Your Insecure Boyfriend
1. Understand The Root Cause Of His Insecurity
The first step in helping your insecure boyfriend is understanding why he is this way.
Is he afraid of being rejected?
Is he scared of being alone?
Or maybe his parents were overly critical, and now he has trouble believing in himself.
Knowing the root cause of his insecurity can help you better understand how to handle the situation and provide him with the support he needs.
Because if you don’t know the origin of his insecurity, your attempt to help him will be a shot in the dark.
2. Reassure Him, But Don’t Let Him Take Advantage Of You
Once you know the root cause of his insecurity, it’s time to start reassuring him.
Let him know that he is loved and cherished and that you value your relationship with him.
However, it’s important not to let yourself be taken advantage of.
Be mindful of how much time and effort you put into making sure he feels secure, and don’t let him take advantage of your kindness.
Just because he’s insecure doesn’t mean he can’t be manipulative.
Be kind, but don’t be gullible!
Reassuring him when he feels down, giving compliments, and showing physical affection whenever appropriate is amazing.
But beware of being taken for granted, and don’t let him take advantage of your kindness by constantly seeking reassurance or expecting too much from you without returning the same effort.
3. Give Him Space To Become More Secure
You might be thinking if it’s not counter-intuitive to give him space if he’s already insecure.
Well, it’s not.
Aside from the fact that giving each other space in a relationship is important, it’s also necessary to help him become more secure and confident in himself.
You can do this by encouraging him to take up hobbies and interests or even do something alone without you by his side at all times.
The idea is that if he discovers that he can handle tasks on his own and make decisions confidently, then he will start feeling better about himself and the relationship.
Insecurity is often caused by a lack of self-confidence.
And giving him space gives him the opportunity to explore his identity and learn more about himself and what he wants from life, thus improving his self-esteem.
I understand you love your boyfriend and want to be around him all the time to make him feel secure.
But naaah!
Don’t smother the bro.
Shift. Let him breathe. Let the insecure guy breaaaathe!
You can be rooting for him without choking him.
4. Listen To What He Has To Say
Sometimes all he needs is a listening ear and to be heard.
If he starts expressing himself, don’t brush off his feelings or make him feel like whatever he has to say isn’t important.
No matter how silly it seems, take the time to listen and give him your full attention.
His insecurity aside, you’d want your boyfriend to listen to you too, right?
So what’s sauce for the goose should be sauce for the gander.
We all need someone to listen to us sometimes, and it’s up to you to make him feel heard.
It will help him see that he matters, not just to you but to everyone around him too.
5. Encourage Healthy Habits & Self-Care Routines
Our appearance has everything to do with our self-image, so if your boyfriend is insecure and not looking his best, it’s a bad combination.
I know you think an adult man should be able to take care of himself,
Yes, but it doesn’t hurt to offer help and guidance.
I remember buying some deodorants for an ex of mine because I didn’t like how he smelled.
You can help your boyfriend look better, too, by suggesting new hairstyles or a dress code.
Introduce him to your skincare routine (I did this for my husband because, how many men know about beauty serums? Hahaha!).
I can’t do without my favorite serums; hyaluronic acid serum, retinol, vitamin C serum, and my favorite moisturizer!
And oh, my face wash, face scrub, and micellar water.
I introduced my husband to them all, so we use my skincare products together.
You can help your man too.
6. Focus On The Positive Things He Does
When interacting with someone who is insecure, it’s easy to focus on all the negative things they do, like constantly second-guessing themselves, not believing in themselves enough, and so on.
However, you’ll be surprised at how much of a difference it makes when you focus on the positive things he does.
But try to focus on the positive things your man does instead.
Praise him for his intelligence, achievements, strength, talents, and any other positive qualities he might possess.
Encourage him and push him towards success in whatever areas of life he wants to explore.
Tell him how proud you are of the efforts he’s making.
This will be a great boost to his self-confidence and remind him that he is capable of greatness.
7 . Give Him Honest Feedback Without Being Too Critical
Providing honest feedback without being overly critical is another great way to help your insecure man become more secure in himself.
Criticism often leads to defensiveness and can create an even more fragile foundation of self-confidence.
But having honest conversations about areas for improvement, giving specific praise for what he’s doing well, and offering support are all great ways to help him become more secure in himself.
The key is to be direct but also gentle so that he knows you’re on his side and that you care about him.
I know it’s sometimes difficult to know where the line is between helpful feedback and criticism, so tread carefully.
Make sure that whatever feedback or advice you give comes from a place of love rather than criticism.
8. Remind Him That He Is Worthy Of Love And Respect Regardless Of His Insecurities
Lastly (and most importantly), remind your boyfriend that regardless of how insecure he may feel sometimes, he is still worthy of love and respect, just like everyone else.
We all have our insecurities; really, it’s just a matter of learning to accept and appreciate ourselves for who we are despite them.
So, remind him that no matter what he is going through, you still love and respect him and that his insecurities don’t define him as a person.
Encourage him to practice self-love and care so that he can begin to build up his self-confidence and become the best version of himself.
You can also suggest that he seek professional help if necessary, as it may really benefit him in the long run.
You are his girlfriend, not his therapist, so make sure that you set healthy boundaries and don’t take on too much responsibility for his mental health.
At the end of the day, he needs to learn to love himself before anyone else can.
Final Words
Like I said, everyone deals with insecurity from time to time; no one is perfect after all.
And it’s noble that you want to help your boyfriend become more secure in himself.
However, this is something he needs to do for himself.
You can be a support system and show him your love and understanding, but ultimately, it has to come from within him.
If he refuses your help and refuses to take responsibility for his own feelings, then you need to ask yourself if you can deal.
Because his insecurity can lead to a lot of difficulties in your relationship, such as unhealthy jealousy, abuse, and other problems.
Take the time to really think about this, and make sure you’re doing what’s best for both of you, well, for you first.
Because: self-love.
