One of the reasons people get married is to enjoy companionship, love, and care.
You want to have a person who listens to you, cares for you, and pays attention to your feelings.
Even if this wasn’t one of your goals when getting married, you’d still subconsciously expect it from your husband.
Having a husband who doesn’t care about your feelings is not a good thing.
It can create an unhealthy atmosphere in your marriage and make you feel unloved and disrespected.
Certain actions when carried out by your husband reveal that he doesn’t care about your feelings.
What are these signs?
11 Heartbreaking Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings
1. He intentionally does things he knows you hate
Growing up, my little brother and I used to fight a lot over little things like how he chewed food.
I thought he chewed too loud and always complained about it.
As he grew, he improved and began to chew better.
But just to piss me off sometimes, he’d make sounds when he’s chewing and be sure to make it loud.
I’d be irritated and chase him around the house.
He wanted to get that reaction out of me and he always did.
People usually know what they’re doing when they do things you don’t like.
The scenario with my brother was something superficial, a joke, but it can happen on a deeper level.
Does your husband frequently do or say things he knows you’re uncomfortable with?
That’s a sign that he doesn’t care about your feelings.
For instance, if you’ve told him that you feel degraded when he talks to you in certain ways yet he keeps talking to you in those ways, something is wrong.
Or perhaps you’ve expressed your displeasure about his relationship with a certain female, but he keeps the relationship going without creating any boundaries.
His insistence on doing these things regardless of the way they make you feel shows that he doesn’t care about your feelings.
2. He never asks for your opinion
“Babe, what do you think about this decision I’m about to make for my career?”
“I’d love to know which you prefer among these two options.”
“How would you like me to love you more as my wife?”
Do these sound foreign to you?
They don’t have to come in those exact words but if you never get asked by your husband about your opinion and thoughts on different things, it means your opinion isn’t valued much.
A man who cares about your feelings would want to know your desires, thoughts, opinions, and preferences so that he can honor them in his words, actions, and decisions.
Your husband’s refusal or failure to ask for your opinion shows that your feelings don’t mean much to him.
Sad, but true.
3. He disrespects you
A man who cares about your feelings will not disrespect or degrade you in any way.
As a woman, one thing you must learn to detect quickly and firmly are people who don’t rate you, even if your husband happens to be one of such people.
If you’re in a marriage where your husband disrespects or belittles you, privately or in front of others, you’ll feel deeply hurt.
But beyond the hurt you feel, you need to see the situation for what it is.
Your husband’s actions show a disregard for your feelings.
The disrespect can also come as cheating or him flirting with other women.
4. He ignores you consistently
I once spent a weekend with a couple that made me hate marriage so much.
If I didn’t know better, my experience in their home was enough to make me say that marriage is thrashed like many people do today just because of their experience.
The couple seemed normal outside but on the inside, they were far from that.
The woman always talked, and the man never responded.
Whether she was asking him what he wanted for dinner, making a random comment about the neighbor, or trying to make plans for the next day, she’d talk and talk and be met with silence.
The man simply never responded or would respond with one-word answers.
I was so irritated at this scenario and she noticed and tried to make excuses for him, telling me he was a man with few words.
The truth is that no matter how gentle a person is when they’re with someone who matters or is doing something important to them, they will respond.
A husband who regularly ignores his wife’s emotions, thoughts, or concerns is not a caring one.
If he often dismisses your opinions or feelings as unimportant or irrelevant or is inconsistent in showing affection to you, making you confused and unsure of his feelings, he simply doesn’t value your feelings enough.
5. He doesn’t keep his word
When you value someone’s feelings and trust, you try not to disappoint them.
This is one thing I learned from my dad.
He hardly ever told us of any exciting news or plans that he had for us until he was sure it would happen.
No matter how much he itched to tell us of his grand plans and the dates he wanted to take us on, he wouldn’t budge until he was sure about it.
He did this because he didn’t want to promise, only to disappoint us.
He also didn’t want to overpromise and underdeliver.
When your husband makes a promise to you, how often does he stick to it?
I know that sometimes life can be ‘life-ing’, and no matter how much we try, even with good intentions, we end up being unable to do some things.
But how often does this happen with him?
Does he frequently break promises or fail to follow through on commitments to you?
This can be a sign of a lack of respect for your trust and feelings.
6. He’s harsh in his words
Words are powerful and can have serious effects on the recipients.
This is why couples are encouraged to be gentle with their words even when they’re in an argument.
A husband who consistently puts his wife down with his words doesn’t care about her feelings.
If he is saucy or constantly criticizes you without constructive feedback, undermining your self-image and esteem, it’s a sign of disregard for your feelings.
7. He’s not interested in talking
Apart from the bond that communication creates between couples, it’s also an avenue for better understanding.
Couples’ willingness to have meaningful conversations and listen to each other shows that they care.
Your husband avoiding meaningful conversations or shutting down whenever you’re expressing your feelings is not normal.
Even if he’s open to communicating but only engages in conversations that benefit him or try to dominate conversations with his interests and problems, that’s still a red flag.
It shows that he’s not interested in your emotional needs.
8. He prioritizes others over you
If you’re always made to feel like a second option in your marriage, it’s a sign that your feelings aren’t respected.
In marriage, you should be each other’s greatest priorities and focus, when that’s not the case, something is very wrong.
Granted that there may be times in life when you’re not able to give each other maximum attention and focus, but it shouldn’t be a lifestyle.
A husband who consistently prioritizes friends, family, or work over his wife’s needs is not a husband who cares about his wife’s feelings.
9. He forgets your birthday
This is a dicey one, I have to be honest.
A good number of men forget their wives’ birthdays, and this is usually not from a bad place.
However, when a husband realizes that remembering significant dates is important to his wife, he should make an effort to do so.
There’s literally no excuse now because we have digital calendars and reminders that make us remember these things.
So if your husband keeps neglecting special occasions and does nothing about it, it may be because he doesn’t care.
If you’ve made it clear that important dates like anniversaries or birthdays mean a lot to you and he still doesn’t pay attention to them or even remember them, whether or not he knows it, it’s a sign of a lack of thoughtfulness and care for your feelings.
10. He’s not supportive
When you’re faced with challenges or rough patches in life, how does your husband act?
Is he empathetic?
The answer to this says a lot and can tell if you and your husband need to have a serious discussion.
A husband should be a source of support and care for his wife, especially during difficult times.
If he fails to be a source of support to you during challenging times or when you need help, he’s either generally an insensitive person, or he doesn’t care about your emotional or practical needs.
Neither is good or should be left unattended to.
Similarly, how is his response to the things that make you happy?
Does he show interest in making you happy or support you in the activities you enjoy?
Is he attentive to your feelings and concerns, or is he unwilling to understand your perspective?
These questions need answers.
11. He does not apologize
Nothing tells you a man is proud and doesn’t care about your feelings more than his refusal to apologize when he’s wrong or hurts you.
If your husband never apologizes, it’s either that he’s proud, or he doesn’t respect your feelings, or both.
A husband who values his wife’s emotions and feelings will sometimes apologize even when he’s not wrong.
A refusal to apologize or acknowledge when he’s wrong can be indicative of the fact that he doesn’t care about the impact of his actions on your feelings.
These are not pleasant signs or signs to be endured in a marriage.
If these signs are observed consistently in your marriage, it can indicate that your husband doesn’t care about your feelings.
This is a difficult situation for a wife, and it should be addressed through open, honest, and heartfelt communication.
If need be, professional help should also be sought.