Obsession is a powerful word I don’t like.
However, I believe I’d rather have my wife obsessed with me than with another man.
I am sure other men feel the same way about this.
The consensus is that women are generally expressive when it comes to emotions.
When a woman feels strongly about you, she shows it.
Even when she tries not to act like it, it still shows.
One time, a lady I liked tried to act like she didn’t like me back, and while her actions said she didn’t like me, I knew she actually did.
I knew the truth by instinct.
Similarly, a man would know when his wife is obsessed with another man.
No matter how much she tries to hide it, it will still show.
You haven’t seen the signs yet either because you don’t know what to look for or because you dismiss your suspicions because you want to trust your wife.
Yes, it’s normal to want to believe the best about those we love.
However, this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t look at things objectively.
In this article, I will be showing you those signs you need to look at objectively.
It may turn out to be nothing, or it could be actually something.
Come along with me as we explore the signs your wife is obsessed with another man.
If Your Wife Is Obsessed With Another Man She’ll Do These 7 Things
1. She talks about him all the time
Now, you must note that obsession isn’t exactly the same as having physical affairs.
It is more like an emotional affair that has the tendency to graduate into physical affairs.
If your wife is obsessed with another man and hasn’t started having an affair with him, she would probably see nothing wrong in talking about him all the time.
And even if she wanted to stop talking about him, she wouldn’t be able to.
You may be talking to her about something else, but she will always find a way to mention him in her conversations with you.
This man she frequently talks about may be a friend or coworker.
It really doesn’t matter what she calls him.
Her expression when she talks about him is what you should focus on.
If you are observant enough, you will notice that her expression becomes radiant when she talks about him.
I remember when I knew my last relationship was at a dead-end.
She had a male friend who was very close to her.
Suddenly, I noticed that she mentioned him frequently and had this radiant expression whenever she talked about him.
Something that was usually missing whenever she spoke to me.
I knew there and then that another man had built a sizeable stronghold in my girlfriend’s mind.
The saddest part about this whole thing is that, ideally, she should be talking about you with that expression on her face.
2. She acts like she has a schoolgirl’s crush on him
As kids, most guys didn’t know what it meant for a girl to have a crush on them.
Unfortunately, I did.
In fact, I knew what it meant for a girl you don’t like to have a crush on you.
It was always stressful to avoid a girl who would go out of her way to be with you, walking down the corridors and feeling her weighty stares and her constantly trying to engage you in conversations when she passed by.
The attention is a lot to handle if you don’t like her in return.
I am trying to remind you of what it feels like for a girl to have a schoolgirl’s crush on you.
Now, you know what to look for in your wife if you believe she is obsessed with another man.
Obsession can make a mature woman act like she has a schoolgirl crush on a guy.
She always wants to be with the object of her obsession and goes out of her way to impress him.
While this is not enough to form a conclusion, it is one of the things a wife would do if she were obsessed with another man.
3. She is secretive
I once had a schoolboy’s crush on a friend of mine.
I didn’t tell her anything, but what I felt for her bordered on obsession.
She used to love posting pictures on social media—her Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp statuses were usually filled with them, and I couldn’t stop myself from saving them.
I kept pictures of her compulsively, without caring that my phone was beginning to look like an art gallery dedicated to her.
One day, she picked up my phone and saw all the pictures when I wasn’t looking.
She teased me so much that I had to delete them defensively.
Yes, leaving my phone unguarded was a slip-up, as I usually kept my phone close to me because of the pictures.
I didn’t want anyone to see how many pictures I had of someone I wasn’t in a relationship with.
The same thing may apply to your wife.
She may be very guarded with her phone when she is around you because she doesn’t want you to see what’s on it.
If your wife is truly obsessed with another man, then the odds are that her phone is full of his pictures and videos.
You may notice that her phone has additional layers of security and apps like her gallery are password protected.
This is because she doesn’t want you to see evidence of how obsessed she is with the other man.
4. She is emotionally withdrawn around you
One time, I was in a relationship, but I started to like another lady.
She was just a friend but we had started spending a lot of time together and I was beginning to notice things like how beautiful she looked and how full her lips were.
I knew I was going down a forbidden path (since I was already in a relationship) but I couldn’t stop myself.
At about the same time, I withdrew from my girlfriend.
I feigned interest in spending time with her, and sometimes, I had to outrightly lie to avoid dates with her.
I did all these because another person was gradually taking over my heart.
Listen to me, one of the ways to know if your wife is obsessed with another man is to check her level of interest in you.
If your wife seems less interested in spending time with you, avoids deep conversations, or appears distracted, she might be emotionally invested elsewhere.
This can be very painful but recognizing it for what it is may be the key to getting your wife back.
5. She is concerned about her appearance
One time, a female friend came to me and asked “How do I look?”.
She was so serious about it, and typically, I would have just said she looked good, but I sensed there was more to her question.
So, I sought to know why she asked.
Well, it turned out that she had met a guy she absolutely liked, but he appeared to be unconscious of her.
Of course, he spoke to her, but he wasn’t reciprocating commensurate to her feelings, which made her wonder if it was because she didn’t look good enough for him.
If your wife is obsessed with another man, you may notice that she becomes more conscious of her appearance.
She now makes sure that she is always looking good.
She may start dressing differently, wearing more makeup, or showing a renewed interest in fitness.
Her new mantra may become “never to be caught unfresh.”
All these efforts may just be geared towards impressing the other man.
This is especially true if she doesn’t make the extra effort when she is with you.
6. She suddenly develops new hobbies
Change is the one constant thing in life.
Hence, I am not trying to say that developing new hobbies is wrong.
You can’t accuse your wife of being obsessed with another man just because she developed a new set of hobbies.
However, when a woman suddenly develops a love for a hobby she used to hate, it could be a sign that she has external motivation for this change.
If you have seen any of the previous signs in your wife, a sudden change in hobbies could be a sign she is obsessed with another man and she is trying to connect with him through shared activities.
This reminds me of how one of my friends became a plogger just because she had a crush who was passionate about plogging.
7. She spends too much time away from home
This is a worrying sign that your wife is doing more than obsessing about another man.
It could be a sign that she is already cheating on you.
If your wife is obsessed with another man, she may stay away from home most of the time to be around him.
However true this may be, you must learn to understand things in context.
Sometimes, your wife may be staying away from home and it doesn’t involve any other man.
She may be pressured at work, forcing her to work late or she may be avoiding you because she is angry at something you did.
The thing about some of these signs is that although they are very common ways wives behave when they are obsessed with another man, taking them in isolation and making a conclusion might lead to an error in judgment.
Now, if you can see several of the above-listed signs in your wife, the odds are she is obsessed with another man.
However, the fact that she is obsessed with him doesn’t mean she has cheated on you already.
At least, not physically.
Though I believe the thought of cheating alone is already a breach of trust, your relationship can still be fixed.
What you need to do is to talk to her about your observations.
Talk to her calmly and explain how her behavior has made you feel.
Ask her why she has been acting the way she has.
If you feel like speaking to a professional would be better, go for it.
Let a counselor guide you through the whole process.
Dealing with your wife’s obsession with another man is not easy.
However, with patience, love, and a desire to make things on both sides, the obsession can fade away.
There is still hope for your marriage if you and your wife are ready to fight for it.
I am rooting for you!