Hmmm, emotional cheating!
This subtle form of cheating has a way of camouflaging itself in such a way that even the person involved in it may not recognize what it is.
Apart from the subtility of emotional affairs, many men who are involved in it may try to defend themselves with the argument that they haven’t had anything physical with their affair partners.
“We were just talking. We didn’t kiss or have any other form of inappropriate contact.”
I am sure you must have heard these words, if not directly, then from a friend who has had a relationship with someone who cheated on them.
Though the boundaries of emotional cheating may seem blurry, I believe that the moment you start sending texts that your partner mustn’t see to someone else, you have started stepping out of bounds.
Just like the boundaries of emotional cheating, the signs that your partner is emotionally cheating may be really hard to detect.
However, if you are noticed something is off in your partner’s behavior, but can’t place your fingers on it, this article is for you.
We aim to explore a list of signs and behaviors that may indicate that your husband is emotionally cheating.
Let’s go…
6 Distinct Signs Your Husband Is Emotionally Cheating
1. He is emotionally distant
“Ooh, she is just a close friend. It doesn’t mean anything.”
You may have heard this several times from your husband when you complain about his closeness to a particular female friend.
If his friendship with someone else makes him emotionally distant from you, then there is something off about it.
People basically have limited emotional capacity.
Hence, it is difficult to be emotionally invested in multiple people at once.
In fact, it is impossible to replicate the level of emotional intimacy required in marriage with two different people.
One person will end up being on the short end of the spectrum.
If you feel like your husband has gradually become emotionally distant from you, it may be because he is already involved with someone else emotionally.
The fact is that if your husband is not investing in you emotionally, then he is investing in someone else emotionally.
That shift in emotional investment is what forms the groundwork of an emotional affair.
You should, however note that you can’t conclude based on this sign alone.
A number of other things can make your husband emotionally distant from you.
2. He is secretive
A major sign that anyone has something to hide is that they act secretive.
A marriage is a relationship like none other and couples are expected to share everything with each other.
Perhaps your husband was like that…
Until he stopped being that way.
He now hides his texts from you.
He may even go into another room to make his calls with this particular person.
The moment your husband begins to act like he is inseparable from his phone, it is a sign that something is wrong.
He may also not be so forthcoming with information about his whereabouts, and he may get a little evasive when you ask about his day.
Even when you voice your concerns about his behavior, he gets defensive and accuses you of not trusting him.
All of these are actions of a man who has something to hide.
Add this to the fact that he is emotionally distant, and you may begin to get a clearer picture of what could have caused these changes.
3. His conversations with you are superficial
A friend of mine once complained to me about how all her talking stages seem to peter out into a steady trend of, “How are you?”, “Have you eaten?”, and “How did your day go?”
I said she hadn’t met someone she felt a strong connection with.
This monotonous conversation really shows no chemistry or connection.
It’s just like a convo you can have with a perfect stranger.
Well, some marriages are like this.
The husband comes home from work and spends all his time in front of the TV, replying to his wife with one-word replies and answers that barely go beyond the surface.
When your husband stops sharing deep things with you, there is something wrong.
Just like the title of Asa’s powerful song, there is fire on the mountain.
Instead of running, though, you may need to find a way to put out the fire.
If it seems like your husband no longer seems to share his good news or setbacks with you, it may be because he is getting his comfort elsewhere.
Your husband may be cheating on you emotionally.
4. He compares you to other women
When your husband begins to compare you with other women, it is a sign that he is feeling dissatisfaction with the relationship.
Especially when he begins to do it all the time.
If you notice that you haven’t been able to do anything that pleases your husband, it may be a sign that someone outside your marriage is already pleasing him.
He consistently compares you with other women out there, pointing out their favorable attributes and urging you to be more like them.
This is very sad.
In marriage, both partners are expected to improve themselves and correct each other; however, comparing your partner to another person is not one of the accepted methods of correction if you want a successful marriage.
Just when you are thinking it can’t get any worse, it actually does.
If there is a specific woman that your husband consistently upholds to you as an example of a woman who is truly wife material, you may need to start considering that your husband is already beginning to see her in that light, and she may already be fulfilling that role emotionally, for him.
5. You argue all the time
Does it seem like your husband is perpetually angry with you these days?
It may even begin to seem like you are walking on eggshells around him because he gets angry at everything you do.
Arguments are sometimes good for relationships.
You can’t agree on everything.
But when it seems like you are beginning to quarrel over the most petty issues, you may need to consider that there is something off with your marriage.
If he yells at the slightest provocation and makes you feel bad all the time, it may be because he is involved with someone out there who makes him feel disgusted for all that you represent.
He may even be doing this because he feels guilty about his emotional affair and doesn’t know how to handle his guilt.
6. He is not interested in sex with you
Does your husband seem to be disinterested in having sex with you?
Even when you finally instigate the act, he appears to be disconnected all through.
This calls for concern, especially if you and your husband don’t seem to be having any major issues that could explain his sexual reticence.
Whether it’s intercourse, kissing, or holding hands, physical intimacy is a vital part of a successful marriage, and any sudden change in that area is indicative of a bigger problem.
If your husband is cheating on you emotionally, it may explain why he suddenly seems to avoid sex with you.
An emotional affair is basically emotional in nature, but it may also serve as a gateway to sex.
If your husband’s emotional affair has any chance of developing into a full-blown sexual affair, he may avoid physical intimacy with you as well.
In combination with the other signs above, you may have already proven beyond any doubt that your husband is having an emotional affair.
So, what do you do if your husband is having an emotional affair?
If you have found yourself ticking off all the boxes on your mental checklist while reading this article, you are obviously wondering what to do about your situation.
You may be tempted to investigate further.
Resist the urge to play detective.
Instead, talk to your husband honestly about what you feel.
Don’t neglect to ask him what he feels, especially about your relationship.
This sort of calm conversation has worked wonders in the past and can still do the same in your relationship.
Really, his response is what determines what you decide to do.
If you finally decide to stay and rebuild your relationship, it should involve joint effort from both of you to build a better relationship.
If the signs you were reading are indicative of another issue, I hope you finally get to resolve things with your husband.
Love is a beautiful thing, and I hope you enjoy yours to the fullest.