As adults with responsibilities, jobs, and so many activities going on simultaneously in our lives, sometimes things get overwhelming, and our moods could be affected.
We could find ourselves battling with some down moments until something good comes along to cheer us on.
My husband returned from work yesterday evening, and he wasn’t in his usual chatty mood and even seemed a bit irritable.
I waited for him to come around.
As short as that period was, I was bothered and curious about the problem.
I can only imagine how tough it would be for a wife who frequently goes through that because it has become normal for her husband to display such an attitude.
If these sad moods are persistent and consistent, then there is a problem.
If this is your husband’s experience, his moods might affect you and, by extension, the home.
If the mood in the house changes once he arrives home because he is cranky and irritable, this may inadvertently affect your marriage.
The negative impacts can include a loss of trust between the two of you; a decline in intimacy; a decrease in communication; resentment and anger on your part; an increase in conflict, and; an overall reduction in the relationship’s health.
These things can happen over time if his cranky moods are left unchecked.
There could be a lot of different reasons for someone to act moody and angry all the time.
It could be due to stress, mental health issues, or even something in his personal life.
It’s important to remember that his behavior does not necessarily reflect you.
In detail, let’s discuss the possible things that could be responsible for your husband being constantly angry and moody.
1. He is experiencing difficulties at work
Let’s start with stress from work or other responsibilities.
If your husband is stressed from his job or other responsibilities, it can affect his mood.
He may feel overwhelmed and unable to relax, making him more cranky and irritable.
This can be especially true if he doesn’t have healthy ways to deal with stress.
He might be experiencing some challenging moments at work and having difficulty dropping his worries at work.
If, for instance, he is being queried at work, has overwhelming deadlines, or has a demanding boss, all these may lead to frequent anger outbursts or moodiness.
The nature of the job we do has a significant impact on our well-being.
2. He is broke
One of the reasons that could make a man lose a grip on his moods is financial insufficiency.
Men pride themselves on their ability to provide for their homes.
Therefore, an inability to do this may cause them to be angry at themselves or their situation.
3. He has mental issues
Your husband may have deep-seated mental issues that may need to be attended to.
This may be due to some ugly past experiences that have affected his mental health.
These conditions can cause irritability and a change in mood.
They can also lead to sleep problems, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating.
These things can impact your husband’s mood and make him more cranky.
If his angry moods seem extreme, you may consider helping him to see a therapist or psychiatrist so that he can be diagnosed and properly treated.
4. He feels overwhelmed and underappreciated
The next possible cause is a feeling of being overwhelmed or under-appreciated.
This can happen when your husband feels like he’s carrying too much of the load in the relationship or at home.
He may feel unappreciated for all the work he does.
This can lead to resentment, which can manifest as irritability and crankiness.
5. He has low self-esteem
This can happen when your husband feels like he’s not good enough or not meeting your expectations.
He may start feeling inadequate, which can make him more irritable and cranky.
This can be especially true if he’s comparing himself to others or feeling like he’s not living up to his standards.
6. He is not getting enough sleep
Aside from mental health issues, inadequate sleep is another likely cause of constant anger and moodiness.
This can be a big issue because sleep deprivation can lead to irritability, moodiness, and feeling overwhelmed.
It can also make it hard for your husband to focus and make good decisions.
What To Do If Your Husband Is Angry And Moody All The Time
1. Find a good time to ask him what is wrong
It’s important to approach the conversation in a respectful and non-confrontational way.
You could say, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been moody and angry lately. I’m concerned about you and want to know if everything is okay.”
2. Give him listening ears
Once you’ve started the conversation, listening to what he has to say is important.
Try to understand where he’s coming from and be empathetic.
You could after that, say things like, “I understand that you’re going through a lot right now. How can I help?”
Or “I want to support you through this. How can we work together to improve things?”
3. Be as understanding as possible
It’s essential to focus on understanding and supporting your partner rather than blaming or criticizing.
I know this can be hard, especially when someone is acting moody and angry.
Another thing to remember is that this might not be a quick fix.
It might take time and patience to see changes in your partner’s behavior.
4. Identify his triggers
The next step is to identify any triggers for his moodiness and anger.
It might be helpful to journal when these moods happen and what’s happening in the moments leading up to them.
You might be able to spot patterns that can help you both better understand and address the problem.
Think of it like this: if your husband is often moody and angry after work, something about his job might trigger this behaviour.
Maybe he’s under much stress at work or unhappy with his job. Keeping a journal can help you spot these patterns and figure out what’s causing the moodiness and anger.
5. Jointly find solutions that address the issue(s)
Once you’ve started to identify any patterns or triggers, you can try to brainstorm solutions together.
For example, if work is a trigger, maybe your partner could try to find a way to reduce stress at work, or perhaps he could even consider finding a new job.
These are just some examples – finding solutions that work for both of you is important.
6. Take care of yourself too
It’s also important to remember to take care of yourself during this process.
It can be stressful and emotionally draining to deal with someone who’s always moody and angry.
Make sure to relax and do things that make you happy.
The saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup” is relevant here.
If you’re not taking care of yourself, you won’t be able to help your partner.
I want to clarify that being supportive and caring doesn’t mean you have to fix everything for your partner.
Sometimes, the most supportive thing you can do is give your partner space to figure things out independently.
And sometimes, the best way to be supportive is to take care of yourself to be your best self for your partner.
So, rather than trying to fix your husband’s problems, you may focus on how you can be there for him in a healthy and supportive way.
You can brainstorm some things you can do to let your husband know you care and are there for him without taking on the responsibility of fixing everything.
Seemingly little things like fixing his favorite dinner, getting him a cup of tea when he is stressed, helping him sort his outfit, complimenting him on something specific like his look, a skill or talent, etc. could be helpful.
Even something like noticing when he’s worked hard on a project and telling him you appreciate his effort.
And remember, it doesn’t have to be a big, grand gesture every time.
Even small, everyday things can add up and make a difference in your relationship.