“My husband doesn’t kiss me when we make love…”
This is a disturbing concern that requires attention and intervention.
Making love is one of the most intimate and vulnerable activities married couples can engage in.
The experience creates a unique bond between both parties that is dearly cherished.
Now, when I talk about making love, I’m sure many people think about the whole package, which is normal: holding, touching, kissing, and meeting.
Lovemaking should involve all these and more, but what happens if one component is missing?
Let us address the issue; “My husband doesn’t kiss me when we make love.”
This is a confusing place to be in because your husband’s actions don’t align with your expectations, so you may be wondering why it is so.
Let us look into some of the possible reasons for his actions.
“My Husband Doesn’t Kiss Me When We Make Love” 10 Reasons
I understand you may feel weird and confused about your husband’s actions.
I mean, I would feel the same way too!
But have you ever considered the fact that it might just be his preference?
It is worthy of consideration.
People have different inclinations and preferences in everything in life, and sex is no exception.
In sex, people like and dislike different things, some of which may sound strange to other people.
Your husband may, for some reason, prefer lovemaking without kissing.
Maybe because kissing was not common where he grew up, or because of some other random reason.
2. He assumes you don’t like it
When couples do not communicate enough, many things go unsaid, and assumptions are made.
While you may be craving a kiss from your husband.
On the other hand, he may think you do not want it.
Maybe he misinterpreted some signs from you to mean that you do not like kissing.
Or maybe he just assumed it and is waiting for your cue to debunk it.
3. Past experiences
Negative past experiences can play a role in shaping people’s mindsets and behaviors.
Your husband may be hesitant to share kisses with you, even during lovemaking, if he has had past negative experiences associated with kissing.
His past experiences may still strongly affect his current relationship with you, depending on how much impact it had on him.
4. You’re not a great kisser
Sis, we have to face the fact that this is a possible reason.
You may or may not be aware that you are not a a great kisser, which may be why your husband does not kiss you.
I know kissing is not a skill or program learned in school, but I must be honest and tell you that it requires some tactics.
If you bite your husband and cause him pain all the time, pour saliva all over him, or do some other uncomfortable things, he may start actively avoiding your kisses.
5. He’s not a great kisser
Or maybe it’s not you, but him.
He may avoid kissing you because he thinks he’s not good at kissing.
Maybe your husband is confident in his expertise in many other sexual activities, but not kissing.
He probably thinks he’s not good at it or that you do not enjoy kissing him, so he stops.
Halitosis is a medical condition that refers to bad breath.
This can be responsible for a couple avoiding kissing.
Halitosis and other mouth or overall health-related issues can affect intimacy between couples.
It could be that your husband has bad breath and is insecure about it, so he keeps his mouth away from you.
But it could also be the other way around.
Maybe your breath is not the freshest, and he perceives odour quickly.
This can easily negatively contribute to your husband’s attitude towards kissing you.
7. Self-esteem issues
Self-esteem and body image issues can be why your husband doesn’t kiss you.
He may have personal internal struggles relating to how he sees himself, which can affect some of his actions during lovemaking.
He may feel uncomfortable and insecure, so he sticks with just enjoying lovemaking and nothing more.
Cultural, religious, or societal beliefs may be responsible for your husband’s actions.
The prevalent beliefs in a location can affect everything about a person’s lifestyle, including their intimate relationship.
If his culture, religion, or tradition shaped your husband’s view on physical affection and romance, you may find him practicing things you do not understand.
Especially if those beliefs are not ones you share.
9. Personal or relationship issues
Issues ranging from personal problems like stress to relationship issues like disagreements.
These alterations in people’s everyday lives can affect their behaviors to very large extents.
If your husband is moody, emotional, or in a not-too-great place, it may affect his actions in bed.
In like manner, if your relationship dynamics with him is changing and you both have certain issues with each other, that can indirectly affect intimacy and connection.
In all these, have you ever considered that your husband may not even be aware that this is something he is doing – or not doing?
Or that this is a concern for you?
Lack of awareness may be the issue you’re dealing with if your husband does not even recognize that his behavior is disturbing.
He may be doing it absentmindedly and think everything is okay.
“My Husband Doesn’t Kiss Me When We Make Love”: The Way Out
1. Understand the situation
The first thing you need to do is try to grasp the basis for your husband’s actions.
In cases like this, it is easy to assume the worst and arrive at conclusions.
But I know for a fact that that rarely ends well.
Several factors you may not even be aware of may be at play, and you need to be told to know.
Before you jump to any conclusions, I suggest you approach the situation with curiosity to learn more about what might be causing your husband’s behavior.
2. Talk about it
Of course, if you want to find out the reasons, the best thing to do is talk about it.
And what better person is there to talk with than the subject himself?
Talk to your husband about how you feel disconnected due to his lack of kisses during lovemaking.
It would be wrong to wait until your husband says something before you talk.
What if he never talks?
Be honest with him and express yourself without blaming him or condemning him.
Listen to his response and allow him to express his feelings, perspectives, and viewpoints.
It is of great importance that you demonstrate your commitment to understanding his point of view.
At the end of the communication, there should be a form of settlement.
Find a middle ground with your husband that accommodates you and your preferences.
Your sex life requires intentionality and efforts to work, so you both must be willing to openly share your desires and discuss your reservations to reignite the spark in your lovemaking.
If there are issues requiring professional intervention, like medical and psychological issues, don’t hesitate to reach the relevant person and seek help.
Individuals differ, and so do their desires.
Pay attention to your husband and try to understand him.
Then, discuss whatever reservations you have and find a way forward together.