Okay, ladies.
There’s going to be a little TMI (too much information) if you don’t mind.
Haha
So recently, my husband was kissing me in a way that took me down memory lane to the days we were newly married.
The days of passionate kissing that made my knees weak and reassured me of his longing for me.
In fact, I told him afterward that he reminded me of those days, and I asked him why he now occasionally does that.
Some women don’t love kissing, but I’m not one of them.
I love to think I’m a good kisser.
Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that if you are wondering why many husbands have stopped kissing their wives, you are not alone.
So let’s discuss this issue.
Why do husbands stop kissing their wives?
Why do your husband’s tender pecks become as rare as a lunar eclipse?
12 Eye-Opening Reasons Husbands Stop Kissing Their Wives
1. The Pressure of Daily Stress
Stress is a potent passion killer.
Honestly, I think stress is the major culprit in this matter.
I wrote recently on Facebook that we often underestimate the effect stress can have on a marriage, especially with kids.
Bills to pay, deadlines to meet, and the ups and downs of life can lead to stress, which in turn can affect intimacy.
Like the wise say, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
When a man is emotionally and mentally exhausted, he may unintentionally reduce his displays of affection.
Yes, unintentionally, because most men don’t even realize that their pecks have become a rarity until a wife points it out.
Most men just want to hit the shower, eat a nice meal, and lay in bed after a long day.
The last thing on their minds is to be romantic and kiss their wives.
Well, not every man is like this.
Some men are intentional about showing affection to their wives, even if they are stressed.
And those men deserve a cold glass of their favorite drink.
Drinks on me, guys!
Lol.
2. Distractions Galore
We are grateful for the gift of technology and how easier it has made life for us.
But there are times when our tech devices can be a roadblock to marriage bliss.
Social media, video games, Netflix, and other digital platforms have the uncanny ability to pull our attention away from that special someone.
In the age of technology, distractions are just a click away.
If you or your spouse is spending more time scrolling through social media or glued to Netflix, it could be eating into your couple’s time.
This digital overdose can create a physical disconnect, making even a simple kiss seem like a chore.
3. Overfamiliarity
”Familiarity breeds contempt,” they say.
In marriage, this means that when couples become too familiar with each other, they may forget to express their love and appreciation for one another or may ignore each other’s needs.
And this is so true.
I call it ”the see-finish syndrome.”
Once you have seen each other in the same old way for a while, it’s easy to overlook or take for granted the things that initially made your spouse so special.
When love is fresh, kisses are plentiful.
But in marriage, we get comfortable with each other, and the need to express love physically diminishes.
Familiarity often leads to a kind of forgetting.
4. Your Husband is Dealing with Health Issues
Marriage vows include the promise to stay with each other for better or worse, and one of the worse times is when a spouse has an illness.
From a simple cold to more complex health problems, physical illness can impact a person’s willingness to be intimate.
My husband and I usually suffer from seasonal allergies, and it’s not a funny experience.
During these times, our focus is on feeling well enough to fulfill our responsibilities.
So, if your husband has health issues, he might not be kissing you as much as you’d want.
5. Self-Esteem Issues
Believe it or not, men struggle with body image and self-esteem issues too.
If your husband is going through a phase where he is not feeling good about himself.
For instance, if he’s gained weight, is dealing with hair loss, or has been facing criticism at work, it could impact his self-esteem.
This lowered self-confidence can manifest in several ways in a relationship, one of which could be a decrease in physical displays of affection like kissing.
Confidence is the sexiest attire a person can wear.
Confident people are more likely to be romantic than those who are not sure of themselves.
If your husband is low on self-esteem, it can affect the frequency at which he kisses you.
6. Lack of Communication
You must have read a million times that communication is the key to a successful relationship.
It holds true in this case as well.
If there’s something bothering your husband, and he hasn’t opened up about it, he may be reluctant to express himself physically too.
Lack of communication can cause a drift in a marriage.
When couples don’t share their thoughts, feelings, or concerns, misunderstandings can arise, which can ultimately lead to fewer kisses.
The solution?
Open up those communication lines and talk, talk, talk!
From talking, you can even share some kisses.
7. Boredom in the Bedroom
It’s not unusual for things to get a bit dull in the bedroom, especially if you’ve been married for a long time.
When intimacy becomes monotonous or routine, it loses its charm.
If your husband finds the routine of kissing unexciting, he might skip it more often than not.
To bring back the excitement, try to switch things up in the bedroom.
8. Lack of Personal Space
Even in the most intimate relationships, personal space is crucial.
It’s crucial for partners to preserve their individuality even when they are in a relationship.
If your husband feels overwhelmed or smothered, he may be less inclined to get close and show his affection through kissing.
This is especially true if he doesn’t have much time to spend alone.
9. Discomfort With Intimacy
Intimacy can be a source of discomfort for some people, even in committed relationships.
Your husband may find kissing uncomfortable if he has difficulty expressing his emotions or is not used to being intimate.
If your love language is physical touch, and your husband no longer kisses you, it can lead to sexual and emotional dissatisfaction.
10. The Chase is Over
In the early stages of dating, men usually put in a lot of effort to win a lady’s heart.
They do things like surprising her with gifts, going on romantic dates, and of course, lots of kissing.
This period is the ‘chase.’
They want to show that they are romantic.
But then, they get married and relax a bit.
They become complacent, and the kisses reduce as the years increase.
Not cool, guys!
11. The Myth of Masculinity
Society’s stereotypes about masculinity can sometimes hamper the expression of love.
Men are taught that they should be strong, stoic, and not show emotions.
They think being too romantic will make them look weak or vulnerable, and thus they often avoid being affectionate.
If your husband feels that being too affectionate or expressive makes him less ‘manly,’ it could be why he’s holding back on the kisses.
Bro, break the stereotype and kiss your wife!
12. He’s No Longer Sexually Attracted To You
No one wants to hear that their husband is no longer attracted to them, but sometimes it’s the truth.
Men who are very much attracted to their wives are more likely to touch their wives than men who are not attracted to them.
If your man used to be affectionate and now he isn’t, it could be because his spark for you has gone out, or at least dimmed.
This list isn’t exhaustive, because people are different, and so are their circumstances, but it gives us an idea of the various reasons why your husband has stopped kissing you.
If you are concerned about this issue, don’t be afraid to talk to him and find out what is going on.
Communication is key in any relationship.
The goal is not to blame him but to understand together, and find ways to reignite the spark.
And most importantly, if you want to be kissed, don’t always wait for him to make the first move.
It takes two to tango.
Kiss him too.
Who knows maybe he has stopped kissing you because you have stopped kissing him?
Remind him of the good old days when you would kiss each other several times a day.
Take the initiative to revive the passion in your marriage.
He’ll likely reciprocate the gesture and resume kissing you too.
If you hear “NO often enough, you just stop trying.
Yeah, right? It’s sad though.
@max, just like a trained monkey…..
12 reasons listed, none applies to me, and I think.i.might not be the only one. She has zero interest in kissing, even if I try. So, I just stopped. I still want it, need it, thi k about it. But she doesn’t care. This is why men cheat. Not me. I do have chances though.
So sorry about your experience. Maybe you should try talking to her about how much kissing means to you.
Exactly the same things with men also I also want to kiss someone but not my husband I don’t know why………
@MkEy, This is why women don’t cheat, together 24 years all was great in every aspect till I accidently found out he been having an emotional affair with workmate for two years and I never new. 2013 I found out 2015. He must have been like 007 since 2013 I get a peck on the cheek before and after.
10 years since I’ve had a proper kiss the only intimacy I get is sometimes he will hold my hand in bed or put his hand on my thigh.
He hadn’t lost his libido DIY porn etc I think that’s selfish. I should have let him go in 2015 so I play each day as it comes. So sad a grown woman with no sexife the embarrassment.
@Angie, I am in the same boat. Never touches me. He is NOT impotent. Sexy clothes and kind words mean nothing to him.
As most men that I know agree… women lose the passion shortly after locking in the long term arrangement and almost totally after having children. I’m just waiting on my kids to finish college and start a life then I’m out of here. I have no intention of divorcing my wife, and will always pay the bills, but I’m getting old and didn’t get married for an occupation and security blanket. Also, not leaving just for the physical gratification, but if I am the only one who cares about me… may as well be me. Yes, we’ve discussed this 1,000 times and she thinks 2 or 3 times a year of screwing… not even making love… is adequate. This article may be written to inform women why, but I can’t believe nearly 100% of them don’t know. Their sexuality has secured their existence and now the debt is the husband’s to pay. Nope!
Wow! This is really eye-opening!
I agree with you, but I’m sure women will have their complaints too.
@Olubunmi Mabel, YES! BUT … SO Many things More Important than these we’re even touched on! Many more Health Problems are usually at stake, esp Low T! ED! Depression! This Article didn’t touch the surface!
@EricW, my kids left home been together 24 years moved to a smaller house I thought it’s our time now come in go out when we want not worrying about kids hearing we’ll what a disappointment he isn’t interested zero, nil more concerned about work. Season ticket for me then in August got go have some satisfaction.
He’s
Not come near me in 10 years I wont cheat, it’s the embarras ment of being a women in a sexless
Marriage and no one to talk about it to.
So sorry about your experience.
@EricW, i read your comment and like you were talking about my situation..and i’m exactly with same intentions like you 100%..wait for my kids to step on the ground with both feet and i’m out..we only live once and i’m not planing of dying every single day till my last day.
@EricW, great response – and very true
Am a kisser,if we can’t 😘 each other,it becomes a waste of time in our love life.
What? All 12 – men should do something about it…
NO!
Woman have:
-Stinky breath,
-Unpleasant behaviour,
-Don’t care about their spouse,
-Do not prepare themselves to look attractive at home…etc.
@Adam, I agree
@Adam,
Oh YES!
And how about Women who don’t put their husband 1st in their life!
@RJ Heim, should be equal
if my wife works on her body to look good like i do i would have more desire.. marriage is work for both sides.
@richard, then make him look good as u☺️
You missed out “you have halitosis”. Make sure your breath is sweet. I suppose it could go under “no longer attracted” category, but this is rather different as it has an exact cause.
Lol. I agree with you.
@John, I think blaming it on halitosis is neither here nor there. Did he/she not have it then when things were 100 degrees 😳 Celsius?
Some husband’s are never romantic, because the marry the lady to serve him as in cooking and cleaning and creating babies.
True! I agree.
I don’t like kissing him anymore because I found out he kissed someone else so I feel not again.
Any advice on what to do when I find out ur husband has slept with your sisters daughter… very painful right
@Lucy,
OMGosh.
I don’t know if there’s any coming back from that one.
Blessings and Prayers for You, Lucy. I’m sorry to hear this. We had similar issues, he was my ex-husband, but Yahuah brought Justice!
@Lucy, tell em you didn’t stay with him. You got to make plans to leave if you haven’t. There’s no coming back from that one. Straight disrespect. That’s nasty
The thought of kissing my husband makes me want to throw up. Seriously! We have been married more than 30 years and after living with him constantly coughing, clearing his throat and other disgusting noises he makes with his mouth there is no way I want to kiss him. Mi love him but kissing is off limits.
@Kim, talk to him about it. You may be hurting him. Rejection hurts and sometimes the other spouse can’t see it.
@Kim,
Getting him to an ENT doctor & try to help him medically. Get Good mouth products for brushing, rinsing! Not JUST for kissing, but for his health.
Also, TELL him how you feel, and talk to him about restricting this to the bathroom.
Blessings!
I read the comments and it’s scary. I’m female been married 6 years and I still find myself lusting after my husband like a dog in heat. I love kissing him. He works two jobs and when he comes home.. it’s on. Not every night but enough so I have time to really want it. These comments scare me tho. We have children but share none together. We are both raising my last son. Then we are free to be even more wild. We met six years ago and even thru health issues and age we still get it on. I can’t wait til my son is gone so we can explore the rooms. I love him so much and I make sure he knows it. I even buy him flowers. Whatever it takes. You gotta put the work in to keep it fun and sexy. Throw on something sexy ladies. I kiss all over my husband. He’s my baby. I pray we don’t get sick of each other.
Amen! I’m so happy to read this, and I’m so happy for you.
My husband and I will be married 47 years this year and we still find time to kiss.
So glad to hear that!
For me it was/is my wifes breath. Her mouth smells like a sceptic mixed with rotting dead roadkill.
12 reasons WOMEN stop kissing their husbands???
I’ll work on that. lol.
Although I have something similar on the blog: https://olubunmimabel.com/types-of-wives-who-no-longer-kiss-their-husbands/
This article was depressing. After more than 20 years I have been pretty much been living with a roommate. The first two years were great but his parents did everything to break us up – their manipulation of him lead me to not have kids. I had thought of leaving but something in me still cared. Two years in – his snoring got so bad that I tried everything to help him – a $100 pillow worked but it was too uncomfortable for him, he wouldn’t listen about changing his diet or try anything and I would wake him to turn on his side, one time he put his fist to my face within half an inch – the deciding factor of never to sleep in the same room. After those two years I developed spinal stenosis, the doctor believes it was the constant tensing from being awakened so frequently. I had to sleep on the couch which didn’t help, I did that for 17 years until I decided to buy another bed and have my own room. His kissing, well lets just say he was a good kisser until he decided he would drop his flem in my mouth twice. I found it so disgusting I literally would never kiss open mouthed, just a quick peck. I could go on but there’s no point. I’m focused on my own life and figuring things out.
So sorry about your experience.
She can’t stop talking to her baby daddy. That’s just a complete turn off.
Serious ill health changes loving relationships. It becomes more about function and sadly romance and intimacy fall by the wayside.
I enjoyed the post and many, if not all of those reasons are true in many relationships. I would suggest one other idea, tired of rejection. I feel like any time I do anything more than hug my wife she at best tolerates it and often gets annoyed with me. She wants $0.05 of intimacy, but no more. hugging and a quick peck are all that is allowed. This has been going on for years. We talk, nothing changes.
What if the reason is you don’t feel that your wife wants you to kiss or touch her. There are feelings both ways – and not telling like your affections are welcome can be a major reason
Yup bad breath is huge reason, and she has noticeable sweet breath for first year so all I can think is its a significant change in oral hygiene.
That and being rejected soooo many times.
I’m sorry to hear that but you aren’t alone going through, I’m on same boat
I thank God for my husband but I think not really giving the kiss as before cos that man really like kiss then.I think is over familiarity (see finish)for me.Ah this man don see me finish ooo mogbe but the attraction and everything is 💯
My husband stopped kissing me and his reason was that I started it. I felt bad becos it wasn’t intentional like I didn’t know it was that bad so I decided to right my wrong but he won’t have it, he still goes on blaming me. Each time I try he just turns his head away esp when we are making love it’s so frustrating cos I believe kissing is a part of foreplay.
I just get turned off when he looking at other women
Can’t even imagine I’m experiencing more than this.Our marriage is just a year today and he didn’t even wish us happy anniversary not to talk of celebrating it.
All affections has diminished even beyond just the kisses.
We’ve only had sex just once this year,I don’t even know what to think.
Self love, first.