The term “wife material” is widely used worldwide but originated from and is more commonly used in regions around Africa and Nigeria, to be specific.
I come from Nigeria, so trust me when I tell you I know what this is all about.
The term is not a negative or positive one.
In fact, it can be either of them depending on who uses it and what their motives are.
“Wife material” is generally used to refer to women who, in the eyes of society and by certain standards, have behaviors that fit into the role of a quality and virtuous wife.
A bad wife material is a woman whose lifestyle, mindset, choices, and behavior are not compatible with building a home with a man as his wife.
These signs may sometimes be recessive and thus can go unnoticed, but I’m here to bring them to the limelight.
Stay with me as we explore the signs of a bad wife material.
8 Signs Of A Bad Wife Material
Growing up, one thing was common practice in many Nigerian homes, especially for young ladies in their late teens and early twenties.
Whenever we left our house chores undone, our mums would say, “Is this how you will behave when you get married?”
She implied that a lady who finds it difficult to do her chores is a bad candidate for marriage.
While there may have been some unhealthy stereotypes in that statement somewhere, it still holds some truth.
A slothful and indolent woman will not only be bad at chasing and achieving her personal goals, but she also will not make a great wife.
Particularly if her laziness is in the area of household activities and chores.
I will say and emphasize that a wife is not a maid.
However, depending on the dynamics of the marriage and the mindsets of the individuals in it, a wife may generally be required to have general knowledge about how a home is run and be able to handle it.
2. Lack of respect
Respect is a value that always will be cherished in every society.
In my culture, one of the ways that we express and interpret respect is by making some form of physical courtesy when greeting older people.
This does not apply to every society, of course, so I’m not using one culture as a yardstick for everyone.
But whatever respect means to people of a group or community, it is very appreciated by those who belong to it.
A woman who lacks regard and thoughtfulness for people and shows an awfully disrespectful behavior is a bad wife material.
This is because marriage requires mutual respect, and her disrespect will be expressed in her relationship with her husband, creating an unhealthy marriage.
But it doesn’t stop there; it will also reflect how she interacts with in-laws, her husband’s friends, and so on.
No one wants to deal with unnecessary rudeness and meanness.
3. Unwillingness to make compromises and sacrifices
Although marriage is meant to be blissful and beautiful, we have to be honest and admit that it requires understanding from both parties.
I would be lying if I said a good marriage is a union of two perfectly fit people and does not require any adjustments or tradeoffs.
Who are we kidding?
Many times in marriage, sacrifices would have to be made, and a woman who is all about herself and has little to zero consideration for other people is not only selfish but also bad-wife material.
There’s a caveat, nevertheless.
Talking about sacrifices and making compromises can be a little dicey because sometimes.
This is because people expect an unreasonable amount of consideration and sacrifice from the female gender to know if she’s deserving of their precious wife’s material trophy.
So I have to say this: a wife material is a woman willing to make compromises and sacrifices to support her husband and build her home.
However, that a woman chooses not to lay herself and her entirety down as a sacrifice at the altar of marriage does not make her bad wife material.
Compromises are great and required from both parties for a marriage to thrive.
Although, they have to be within sane and healthy boundaries.
4. Absence of homeliness
This is one major sign that characterizes a bad wife material.
A woman who has zero desire for being domestic and handling matters within and around the home.
She is not welcoming or trying to make people feel comfortable at home; it’s just not her cup of tea.
On a general note, there’s really nothing wrong with that.
Every woman does not have to be the picture of a homely wife, going to and fro, trying to set the table for lunch, organizing the laundry, or being an expert in making pasta.
But these things are part of the wife’s material package, so their absence can strongly signify that a woman is a bad wife material.
Being unfriendly is a sure sign of bad-wife material, and I don’t mean temporary moments of just wanting to be alone; we all have those.
Once in a while, we just want to be by ourselves and not say hello to anyone or smile at anybody.
I don’t mean that.
I’m talking about a perpetual behavior, lifestyle, or even personality where an individual is not really into being social at all.
She’s unwilling to welcome people into her space, even to a small extent.
She always just wants to be alone and isn’t interested in making friends.
This wouldn’t be an issue if marriage only required friendship with your spouse.
The reality of things is that when an individual gets married, they automatically have potential new friends in their partner, family members, colleagues, acquaintances, and loved ones.
So they have to be willing to have, at the least, a cordial relationship with these people.
No man would want to experience his wife shun his coworkers, boss, or parents for no reason.
A woman who acts aloof at family events or even refuses to go at all every time isn’t exactly the portrait of a great wife.
Or how would you like a wife who shuts the door in the face of your loved ones simply because they stopped by your house to say hello?
6. An awful consort
If a woman is an awful companion, she most likely would be a bad wife material, and this can be expressed in so many ways.
You may notice that she nags constantly, is not a good listener, has zero concern for her partner’s well-being, and has zero support for their personal life pursuits.
Even when her partner seeks the best for her, she doesn’t reciprocate.
Not necessarily because she doesn’t love him but because she just doesn’t care that much.
It may also be noticed that she is self-centered and thinks about herself alone virtually all the time.
Such a person would make a bad partner, friend, and, in this case, a bad wife material.
People are at liberty to choose if they want to remain in relationships or leave but a woman who never stays in any relationship for long and is off to the next one in the twinkle of an eye is a bad wife material.
If she has wandering eyes and cannot stay loyal to one man in her relationships, then she’s not a great candidate for marriage.
Even in a marriage, she would want to decamp at the slightest inconvenience or when she sees someone “better,” and that is not exactly how marriages work.
A woman who is not devoted and steadfast is a bad wife material.
8. Poor morals
The truth is that many times, men may date and have fun with random women regardless of their morals or lack of it, but when it comes to marriage, most men want to choose morally upright women.
This is because they understand that, in the long run, these morals are important for their lives.
They want someone who has some level of uprightness or righteousness.
Thus, a woman who is violent, abusive, or engages in vices such as smoking and drinking may be seen as bad-wife material.
I must reiterate that some of these signs do not necessarily mean that a woman is generally a bad person or friend.
They just mean that she may not be a great candidate for marriage at this current season of her life, and that is okay as long as she’s working on being a better version of herself in other important areas.
Also, I wouldn’t want you to limit yourself to the qualities mentioned above because although they are important keys, they are broad and not specific.
Every man should define what a wife material is to him because he knows his desires better than anyone, and he should be sure he is an excellent husband to match her.
A woman can be a great partner generally and have good qualities, but if her lifestyle and mindsets conflict with his, she may be a bad wife material for him.