When a man calls a woman insecure, something definitely prompted him to say that.
Now, the fact that he said it does not mean it is true, but it also means there’s a likelihood of truth in that, so don’t be quick to trash it.
If you are the woman in question, then you may be wondering why he made such a comment about you.
I mean, I would wonder too if someone called me insecure because that is not exactly a beautiful thing to say about someone.
But don’t worry, I’ve got you.
We will dissect that statement together and see if he’s right or if you should ignore what he said.
He may be right, and he may not, but something sure made him say that.
Let us look into some of those reasons and what the woman’s perfect response should be.
5 Reasons A Man Would Call A Woman Insecure
1. She expressed concerns or requested boundaries
A man may call a woman insecure if she expresses her concerns about some of his actions or relationships with people of the opposite sex.
It’s perfectly normal for partners to let each other know when they’re uncomfortable with the other’s interactions or social behavior as long as it is within healthy boundaries.
There’s nothing wrong with it.
But some men may take the feedback wrongly and just accuse her of being insecure instead of working on what she complained about.
This is an unhealthy behavior from the man that shows he’s unwilling to adjust and respect the woman’s opinions.
2. She has self-esteem issues
While sometimes, the woman may be expressing genuine concerns about the man’s interactions with other women,
Other times, the woman may just be too jealous and truly insecure.
The man may actually be right in calling the woman insecure (even though there are better ways he should have put it).
There are actually women who are insecure due to issues such as inferiority complex and low self-esteem.
Such women may become agitated at every female friend that their partner has.
They do not see themselves as good enough, so they see every other friend of their partner as a threat.
They may express this in unhealthy ways and frequently too.
This can frustrate the man and make him call her insecure.
3. He’s a narcissist
Some men are masters of gaslighting.
You can see something in plain sight, yet they’ll try to manipulate it into something else right before you.
Men who are narcissists or who hate commitment fall comfortably under this category.
When a woman demands accountability from them, they try to escape it.
Instead of just admitting they are wrong or that they have commitment issues, they choose instead to turn it on the woman and play the victim.
Her straightforwardness makes them uncomfortable and caged; they may resort to calling her insecure in a bid to make her feel like she is doing something wrong.
If you know any woman in this situation, encourage her not to bend.
She should not fall for the gaslighting.
4. She’s clingy
While the woman may be freely expressing her love and affection for the man by bombarding him with text messages, calls, and visits,
The man may not receive them as actions of love but sees them as love-bombing and excessive clinginess from the woman.
This may be sad, but it’s the reality.
We all express love in different ways, and while some people express it calmly, others are very loud and generous.
When a very expressive woman meets a man who does not appreciate that part of her, he will likely make such comments about her.
5. He doesn’t like her
A man calling a woman insecure can be simply because he doesn’t like her.
He may not come out to say it, but by now, I expect ladies to be able to read the signs and even read in between the words that these men say to them.
If a man is constantly unavailable, unresponsive to a woman, doesn’t show any level of commitment, and proceeds to call her insecure when she tries to hold him accountable, it’s most likely because he doesn’t like her.
It is important that she smells the roses early and makes a decision for herself.
When A Man Calls A Woman Insecure – 3 Ways To Respond
1. Self-evaluation
One thing I like to do is take periodic self-assessments and evaluations.
I try to scrutinize and assess my behavior, relationships, responses, etc.
So, even when someone tells me something about myself, whether positive or negative, I take it as feedback and try not to take it too personally.
Even though we think the best of ourselves most times, we still have blind spots in our lives, and we could use the help of our constructive critic friends to find it and deal with it.
Instead, I ask myself if what they said is valid or not, by judging myself.
This is a good thing for a woman to do if a man makes any comment about her, such as calling her insecure.
She should eliminate all forms of bias and assess herself to see if his statement is valid.
This will help her handle the information better.
If she sees some level of truth in his statement, guess what? It’s perfectly okay.
It just means that she has something to work on in herself as we all do, and if the man’s statement is false and borne out of his inadequacies and flaws, then she knows just to discard his comments and move on with her life.
2. Communicate
In the case where the man in question is her partner, the woman should have a conversation with him about how his words made her feel.
I’m sure nobody will feel great after being called insecure.
Even if they truly express some signs of insecurity, there are better and less abrasive ways for their partner to communicate it to them.
“I don’t like that you called me insecure. It didn’t make me feel good at all. I believe there are better ways that you could have communicated your observations”.
Anything in that line can be communicated to make the man understand that his choice of words were not the best.
3. Make necessary adjustments
If a man calls a woman insecure, whether or not he’s right, her behavior and relationship with him shouldn’t remain the same.
Particularly if the man in question is her partner.
That is not a nice thing to say to someone, especially when it is not true.
The woman needs to reevaluate her relationship with the man in question and create boundaries.
If the man in question is her man, she must identify the actions that she puts up that make him see her in that light and minimize them as much as possible.
She can ask him to be sure.
The woman should hold herself to higher standards, have interests outside of her relationship, and focus on herself a little bit more.
At the end of the day, the comment may have been a causal one that doesn’t hold any serious basis, or it may be pregnant and needs to be extensively discussed between both parties.