Some days ago, I was reading comments on a blog post and I came across a shocking comment of a man who complained bitterly about his wife’s bitchy attitude.
That was not what made his comment shocking.
The fact that he wished that one of them would die so his frustration could end was what shocked me!
Like, a man wishing death for himself or his wife so the misery he’s experiencing because of his bitchy wife could end?
This sounds preposterous. Why not just opt for a divorce instead of a death wish?
But then, not everyone has what it takes to go through a divorce.
I’m sure there are many people like him, who wish their partners dead just to be free from them.
We all need to watch how we treat our spouses and not be bitchy.
I understand that we cannot be pleasant at every time because life happens to us. Also, there’s no perfect person on the planet.
But if bitchiness is no longer an occasional thing and it’s now a part of you, then it’s a problem.
And greater is the problem if you don’t know you’re being bitchy.
That’s why I decided to write this article and also examine myself if I’ve been a bitchy wife.
I found myself guilty in some areas (as you’ll soon find out), so I’m not out to judge anyone.
How do you know if you’re being a bitchy wife?
Below are 15 signs that you’re a bitchy wife:
1. You’re too critical
You’re always finding faults in your spouse.
You probably want him to change some things about himself, but understand that being critical won’t make that happen.
It’s okay to point out his faults to him but if this is all you do every time, you’re bitchy.
2. You don’t appreciate him
One of the things men usually complain about their wives is that they don’t appreciate them (enough). Instead, they’re always quick to point out the things they’re not doing right.
Appreciating your spouse will not only make him happy and feel useful, it’ll encourage him to do more.
Most times, we think we don’t need to appreciate our spouses because they’re fulfilling their duties.
This is wrong.
Appreciate your man for the things he does to make things work, no matter how little.
3. You are always right
If you’re always right in your own eyes and you never consider your partner’s point of view, you’re being bitchy.
Nobody is an island.
You can’t make your man happy if you think you’re always right and he’s always wrong.
4. You never apologise
Conflicts are bound to happen in every relationship, the key is to resolve issues and move on.
We’ve talked a lot about men who are so high on their ego that they never apologise.
But some women are guilty of this too.
They think they’re too cute to apologise, and that a man should do all the apologising alone.
If you’re wrong or your man points out your wrong to you and you refuse to apologise, that’s pride and bitchiness.
Your spouse cannot be a happy man if you’re inconsiderate of his feelings.
I used to be like this. But I learnt how to apologise easily from my husband.
You too can change.
5. You don’t listen to him
You want to talk all the time and you want him to listen.
When it’s time for him to talk, you interrupt him and you never listen.
I must confess that I’m guilty of this too, and I’ve seen some wives do this as well.
Women, let’s allow our men to talk. Just as we love to unburden our minds, let’s allow them to do the same. They have feelings as well.
It’s amusing how we easily listen to our girlfriends but replicating the same with our men is a different ball game.
6. You don’t give him space or allow him to enjoy his free time
Spending quality time as a couple is non-negotiable, however, partners should be able to spend time by themselves to explore and relish their individuality and uniqueness.
If you’re always angry with your spouse for spending time alone or with others (friends, family, or colleagues), especially if this is not frequent, you’re being a bitchy wife.
You don’t expect his life to revolve around you. Let him breathe. Give him space.
Marriage doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have a life outside of you.
7. You’re mean to the people he cares about
You’re being a bitchy wife if you’re mean to his family and friends especially if he’s not putting them before you.
You just don’t want others around him and you drive them away by being mean to them.
8. You’re touchy and quarrelsome
Everything is a fight with you. Your partner is even scared to discuss anything, no matter how harmless, with you because he knows it’ll end in disagreement.
So, he keeps to himself rather than share things with you.
Some women are overly dramatic; they derive pleasure in fighting with their men.
I’ll never understand the fun in constantly picking fights with your partner.
It’s simply toxic and draining.
9. You bring up past issues
You don’t let go of past issues even if they happened years ago.
You haunt him with the wrong things he did to you in the past even after he has apologised and tried to fix things.
You can’t have a marriage if you don’t learn to let go of past issues.
10. You mock him with his problems
You remind him of what is going wrong in his life just to hurt and taunt him.
This is unfair and bitchy.
11. You don’t care about him
You’re not nice to him.
You don’t care about what he eats, his work, how he looks etc.
One of the ways I care for my husband is making available whatever he wants to eat.
Although I must confess that he makes it easy for me by being considerate.
I always ask him what he’d like to eat, and his response is usually, “Whatever you give me.”
I’m not usually pleased with his response because if I want to give him just anything, I won’t ask him what he wants to eat.
But I’m happy that he is not hard to please.
I won’t pretend to be the perfect wife here, so I must also confess that I don’t do this ALL the time especially times when I’m angry with him.
But I make sure there’s always something in the refrigerator to eat, so he can take care of himself.
Showing care for your man in simple ways can go a long way in making him a happy man.
If you have a good man, I believe he’ll also reciprocate the gestures. That’s if he’s not doing that for you already.
12. You know it all
The man said in his comment that his wife turned down his suggestion for them to seek help and counsel. She thinks she knows it all.
If you and your spouse are having problems that you both can’t solve, if you’re not bitchy, you should be willing to seek help.
You don’t know everything.
You’re not Google.
13. You speak ill of him to others
You act bitchy when you always say negative things to others (family and friends) about your man.
Doing this will only make them disrespect him, and trust me, these people never forget, even when you and your man eventually resolve whatever issues you have.
It’s okay to speak out in extreme cases such as abuse (physical and emotional), manipulation, obsession etc. in order to get help.
But for marital issues that are not beyond the ordinary, speaking ill of your spouse is unfair.
Is he all that bad? Isn’t there a good part to him at all?
Why paint him as the devil to others just to make yourself seem like the victim?
14. You’re selfish
Everything is all about you. You don’t care if he’s happy as long as you’re happy/get what you want.
15. You have unrealistic expectations
Marriage is all about fulfilling expectations but there’s a problem when your expectations are unrealistic.
If you’re any of these, please try to change and seek help where necessary.
And if you have reasons for being bitchy, have a heart to heart talk with your man in order to resolve your issues.
Don’t be the reason why your husband looks forward to workdays instead of weekends just to be free from you.
Don’t believe the lie that a man who really loves you will stay with you no matter how much you frustrate him.
Some men value their peace of mind above anything.
Not everyone has the energy for toxic love.
Let me also state that you can be the best thing since sliced bread and your man may still choose to straggle away like a stray.
But in this case, you’ll be confident that it has nothing to do with you.