Skip to Content

9 Popular Ways Most Affairs Are Discovered

9 Popular Ways Most Affairs Are Discovered

Sharing is caring!

There is one thing that almost all affairs have in come…

They almost always come to an abrupt end.

Most of the time, the end of these affairs is facilitated by discovery.

Most people get into affairs without really thinking about being caught, and when it finally occurs to them that they may be discovered, they take solace in their subtility and careful planning.

The fact is, there are several ways affairs can be discovered.

While some may appear to be more dramatic than others, it leaves an indelible mark on the partner being cheated on.

In this article, we will explore the common ways affairs are discovered.

If you are considering cheating on your partner and you need a deterrent, let the fact that you can be discovered serve as one.

If you are also beginning to see signs that your partner is cheating on you, read on.

Let’s go!

9 Popular Ways Most Affairs Are Discovered 

1. Phones and text messages

ways most affairs are discovered

Cheaters need to communicate, don’t they?

The most common method of communication is through text messages.

You would probably think that experienced cheaters would know better than to leave incriminating messages lying around on their phones.

Trust me, they don’t, or maybe they do, but they sometimes make mistakes.

This is why in Nigeria, there is an ongoing joke to the effect that a woman who wants to cry her heart out only needs to check her husband’s or boyfriend’s phone.

So, one day you may be taking a shower, and a text from your affair partner will come in while the phone is next to your spouse, and boom, your cover is blown!

You may believe that you are so secretive that you will never be caught without your phone on your person.

The fact is, no one is always guarded, and all that is needed for your affair to be discovered is just a moment of relaxation.

If you don’t use any secretive apps, the odds are your partner will discover your affair soon enough.


2. Emails

Now, contacting your lover with your email may be a stroke of genius.

Your partner probably doesn’t check their emails; why will they check yours?

Yeah, this is probably true.

However, new emails always pop up on the notification bar of your phone, making it possible for a suspicious message to catch your spouse’s attention.

Affair partners who use emails to communicate may not text frequently except to set up hangouts and dates.

They may be rare, but even these rare messages can be discovered.

Also, some really weird people would rather chat through emails than social media or text apps.

Weird, right?

But I know a few people who do this.

For them, the first place they would check on your phone for incriminating evidence about your affair is your email.


3. Dating sites and apps

The easiest way to start an affair is to create multiple profiles on a dating site or many dating sites.

However, it could also be the easiest way to discover your affair if you ever make the mistake of starting one.

If you forget to clear your browsing history, you could be just a click away from discovery.

Also, most dating sites would inform you via email every time they get a match.

If you leave your phone where it can be handled by your partner, you face the risk of being discovered with every email notification you get.


4. A friend may expose you inadvertently

Where I come from, we have what we call “bro code”— a Nigerian slang for the fact that brothers never snitch on each other.

Telling you about this will mean I am breaking bro code, but I care enough about you to do that.

There are several rules contained in the bro code constitution; however, the foremost is that even if your friend has 5 girlfriends, you must call every one of them “our wife”…

Especially if you can’t keep track of their numerous names.

This will make the lady feel special and, of course, save you from slipping up and calling her the name of another girl.

Most of the time, this works.

There are times, though, when a friend may make the mistake of placing a different face to a wrong name.

That’s one of the ways ladies discover that they are being cheated on in Nigeria.

I am sure this is not just a Nigerian thing, nor is it restricted to males.

Females are very involved in this too.

So, when you want to get involved in an affair, you may need to rethink it when you realize that your friends can inadvertently expose you.


5. Your partner’s friend exposes you

ways most affairs are discovered

Sometimes, everyone can be aware that you are having an affair except your partner.

It is possible that while you are being careful and only hanging out at places that your partner won’t be at, you may just be spotted by your partner’s friend.

As a good friend, your partner’s friend will tell on you and bring your cheating to your partner’s attention.

Even your friends may snitch on you intentionally, especially if they are tired of you treating your partner wrongly.


6. Getting caught lying about your whereabouts

Many times, affairs are discovered by just uncovering a small lie about the whereabouts of a partner.

So, yeah, your partner trusts you and believes it when you say you are going on a business trip or working late in the office.

However, just one slip is all that’s needed for that trust to vanish.

Lying about where you are and who you are meeting with is one easy way to slip up, except you have everything set up.

This used to be a popular way of catching a cheat in movies.

The man says he is going on a trip out of town yet he is spotted by either his wife or her friend at a hotel in town with another woman.

The fact is that even if you are not exactly cheating, the fact that you lied about your whereabouts is enough to create serious trust issues in your relationship.


7. Your partner catches you red-handed

ways most affairs are discovered

This is one of the worst ways for anyone to discover that they have been cheated on.

This doesn’t necessarily translate into being caught “pants down” ( though this happens too)

It just means that you may be caught by your partner with your affair partner.

You may be having a date with your affair partner when your spouse just shows up and catches you right in the act.

This doesn’t hurt your spouse as much as being caught “pants down” with your lover.

However, it still hurts.



8. The mistress or the affair partner snitches 


Yes, it can happen.

Sometimes your affair partner may get jealous and decide to tell your spouse about the relationship, especially if they feel like you are not being honest with them.

This could also happen if things don’t go according to plan or if the relationship between you and the mistress ends abruptly without resolution.

In such an instance, she may choose to take her anger out on you by spilling all of your secrets to your partner. 

This could lead to dire consequences as there would be no way for you to deny it since it’s your affair partner who confirmed your actions, especially with incriminating evidence like pictures, conversations, receipts, etc.


9. Your spouse finds out from social media 

Social media nowadays makes it easy for people to keep track of each other’s activities. 

If you are involved in an affair, there is a chance that your spouse might find out about it through social media.

Your mistress may post pictures of the two of you together or even let slip subtle hints on her posts.

Even if she doesn’t post anything directly incriminating, it’s still possible for your partner or mutual friends to figure out what is going on by piecing together clues from different sources. 

It’s a small world, really.


The discovery of an affair is never easy and doesn’t bode any positive tidings for any relationship.

It’s better to resolve whatever issues you may be having in your relationship than to pick up the pieces after being involved in an affair.

If not for anything, the fear of discovery should discourage you from having an affair.

After all, everyone deserves a loyal and trustworthy partner.

Make it a goal to be that partner that everyone wants.

Sharing is caring!