Cheating is one of the biggest marital setbacks couples have to deal with.
It is a great form of disrespect to the spouse being cheated on.
As a woman, if you are dealing with infidelity from your husband, you may be confused about the best action to take.
Many people bluntly opine that a woman who has been or is being cheated on should outrightly leave the marriage.
However, there are a lot of actions and inactions that should precede the decision to remain in the marriage or not.
How you address this issue can be the difference between saving the marriage or ending it.
So, what is the best thing to do if you discover that your husband hasn’t been faithful to you?
7 Things To Do If Your Husband Cheats On You
Do your proper findings before bringing it up.
Yes, I can imagine the rush of emotions that may overwhelm you at discovering that you are being cheated on.
It takes a great deal of self-restraint to remain calm.
However, taking your time and processing your thoughts before raising the subject is necessary.
You wonder why?
Your cheating husband is most likely going to get defensive when confronted.
This is a common trait with cheats.
Even if he was caught in the act, he is still likely to say something in his defence.
You could hear him tell you that it is not what you think it is, as though you were hallucinating.
How much more are you discovering without his knowledge?
You do not want to be twisted out because you were too impatient and agitated to get enough details to back your claims when confronting him.
This will only aggravate your already existing hurt.
Avoid blaming yourself.
You are not perfect, and you probably have your shortcomings.
However, this is not a reason to be cheated on.
Cheating is wrong, no matter how he justifies his infidelity based on your flaws.
There are other ways the issues(if there are any)in the marriage could have been addressed other than cheating.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
Blaming yourself for the misdeed of your husband is not the best thing to do.
Notwithstanding, be open-minded enough to know what you could have done better in the marriage.
It’s not only necessary to think about the effect of your husband’s sexual disloyalty on your mental health but also on your physical health.
He has exposed you to the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases, and you need to look out for yourself immediately.
Hopefully, the tests turn out negative.
However, if, sadly, it is positive, it further confirms your discovery and serves as evidence of being cheated on.
You should also avoid unprotected sex with him subsequently.
Protect yourself from the consequence of his infidelity on your health.
Confront your husband
You should discuss your findings with your husband and seek clarification.
This is a sensitive stage, and it’s necessary to control your emotions while at it.
Find the right time and atmosphere to bring it up.
Be confident and stern. Avoid any form of violence.
Watch out for his reaction and listen to his explanation.
You can ask him straightforward questions like why he is cheating on you, how long it has been going on, if he feels guilty, etc.
Pour your heart out and listen to him do that too.
Be prepared for two things: either he truthfully bears the responsibility for his shameful actions, or he heaps them all on you.
This is where your resort not to blame yourself comes in handy.
Be prepared to hear him spill things that border on lies or character assassination.
Be prepared to hear him make you feel inadequate.
All these should not take you off-guard.
Do not revenge
The temptation to make him feel what you currently feel may come to you.
You may feel the urge to cheat back openly and make him go through what you are going through.
Cheating back is not the best thing to do.
It may only give you temporary relief, which may metamorphose into guilt later on.
You do not fight a wrong by engaging in it.
Besides, he who comes to equity must come with clean hands.
You should not be found guilty of adultery if you are accusing your husband of the same.
It only waters down your case.
Avoid confronting the outsider.
You may be wondering why a fellow woman would do you this way, and you get tempted to give her her share of the blame too.
Confronting her is absolutely not worth it.
Your focus should be on your husband, who made vows to you.
On second thought, if you decide to contact them, let it be to bring to their awareness the fact that the person they are going out with is married, as they may not even be aware.
Yes, some married men are so despicable in their acts that they might pretend to be single or even widowed.
Do not threaten the lady involved, be as civil as possible.
You could reach out just to inform and not to act desperate with some lady who probably has nothing to lose by causing a scene.
You may be saving an unsuspecting single lady from your cheating husband.
Take your time to make your decision.
The series of events that play out since the discovery will aid your final resolution.
After considering many factors, some women decide to stay back and learn to cope with him.
For some, it is because they see a flicker of hope in his remorse and regret, so they stay back in the hope that he changes as he has sworn to.
This often applies to wives of first-time cheaters
You could consider forgiveness in first time cases, but the decision ultimately lies in your hands as you know where the shoe pinches.
However, if you decide that getting a divorce is best for you, you need to map out your exit plan.
Do not rush out of the marriage unprepared.
Make plans that will give you a soft landing as a divorced person.
All these will require considerable time, and time is of the essence.
Being cheated on is definitely a strong memory to let go of.
Some marriages survive infidelity and get better; not every marriage will.
An admission of wrong and regret by the cheating husband may indicate that he will ensure no reoccurrence, so in this case, forgiveness is an option.
However, if you are dealing with a recalcitrant and unrepentant cheater, you will either decide to stay and cope or leave.