“My husband and I have nothing to talk about anymore. We go about our daily activities religiously, and apart from conversations about chores, the house, and the kids, we have nothing to talk about. We’re always on our phones, and I don’t know what to do. ”
Does this sound like your marriage?
You and your husband no longer discuss and have engaging conversations like before.
Your time together is characterized by silence because there isn’t anything to speak on.
You seem to have lost your natural curiosity about each other, and all that is left is silence.
Your conversations with your husband have been replaced by neutral expressions, obsession with your phones, distracted gazes, and so on.
Everything now points to the fact that you both no longer know how to communicate.
This is especially worse for couples who used to have a lot to talk about when they first met.
When you first met, excitement and curiosity surged through you both, and time was never enough for your conversations.
But now, things have changed, and the silence is sometimes deafening.
This shows that something is very wrong.
If allowed to continue, it will lead to boredom and emotional disconnection in your marriage, which can eventually lead to a divorce.
Is there a way out of this challenge?
But before we take you through practical solutions, we would like to look into why couples find themselves in a place where they have nothing to talk about anymore.
”My husband And I Have Nothing To Talk About Anymore”
1. Reduced excitement
The early stage of a relationship is characterized by a lot of excitement, pulsation, and curiosity.
You and your partner are fascinated by each other, and there is never enough time to talk about all you need to talk about.
The excitement may, however, fade as the marriage ages and you both grow accustomed to one another.
If you do not intentionally maintain your friendship with your spouse, you can drift apart so much that you no longer have anything to discuss.
After the honeymoon phase of your marriage, life starts.
You both have to get busy with your lives and be responsible.
This is good but can negatively impact your marriage as routines may set in and wear you out.
Now, all you do is follow a laid-out step-by-step outline for your day, and there is no energy or time to talk with your spouse.
Another possible reason why you and your husband no longer have anything to talk about is fighting.
Even though arguments and fights are normal in a relationship, they should be watched.
If you have a husband who misinterprets everything you say or finds fault with everything you do, you might shut down and not want to talk about anything with him.
If you talk disrespectfully to your husband, your husband may also shut down and not want to engage you in discussions.
So, frequent fights and arguments can make relationships grow cold and make spouses so distant that they no longer know what to talk about.
4. You’re always looking down at your phone or tablet instead of at each other
It’s hard to remember a time when couples didn’t have smartphones, but that’s exactly what they did — and they survived.
What is it about phones and tablets that makes them so addictive?
Why do we feel the need to be connected 24/7?
The answer to this question lies in human nature.
We are social creatures who thrive on connection and interaction with others.
We’re also curious about each other and want to know what our friends and family are doing.
When these two aspects of humanity collide, it becomes clear why we are so attached to our devices.
We want to know what our friends are doing, but we can’t always ask them directly because we’re not around them all day.
So instead, we look at their Facebook status updates or Instagram photos.
We use social media as an indirect way of connecting with people by seeing what they’re doing in real life.
Phones and tablets allow us to do this easily because we never have to leave home.
But this convenience comes at a price.
You get less face time with your partner because you’re too busy checking your phone instead of having an actual conversation with them.
Believe me when I say internet addiction is ruining relationships and marriages today.
”My husband And I Have Nothing To Talk About Anymore”: How To Get Talking Again
1. Find similar interests
You and your husband have nothing to discuss because you are doing entirely different things.
Your husband may be silent when he is with you, but he sure speaks when he is with his friends or coworkers because they have similar interests and can converse about those.
Use the same trick by finding things that interest you both and bringing them up when you’re together.
It could be politics, pop culture, a movie, games, family gossip, or anything, really!
Just find something you are interested in and bring it up when you’re together.
2. Go out together often
Sometimes, the routine around the house becomes boring and affects couples.
It gets worse if one or both parties are remote workers and do not have to leave the house to go to work.
After some time, your home may begin to feel like a cage, and you both seem to have exhausted everything there is to talk about around the house.
Overcome this by going out of your house together.
Plan a date anywhere outside the house, go for walks often, attend events and parties, and visit friends.
Seeing new things and people are great conversation starters; before you know it, you’re back discussing with your spouse non-stop again.
3. Go on a vacation
Maybe your marriage needs a little spark to rekindle your communication as your daily routine and responsibilities may have put the spark out.
And going on a vacation can help you achieve that.
Vacations are great because they give you time away from home, where you’re not distracted by chores or errands or kids — and they give you time to focus on each other.
You might even want to plan a little date night during your trip just so you guys can catch up with each other’s lives.
4. Keep your phones down
We’re all guilty of spending more time on our phones than we do with the people we love.
Our attention spans are shrinking and we’ve lost the ability to sit still for more than five minutes.
I’m not saying that phones are bad, but they do get in the way of real human connection sometimes.
These devices have made us forget how to connect face-to-face with each other.
They put a strain on our relationships when we don’t know how or want to connect without a screen.
Also, they make it easier for us to communicate with people who aren’t right next to us while neglecting our partners.
Taking some time off your phones will surely help improve communication in your marriage.
5. Spend time doing what he loves
Being a couple does not mean all your interests must be the same.
You can have different interests, careers, and occupations.
Try to spend more time with your husband, doing what he loves even though it may not be your favorite thing.
Develop interest in it and ask him questions.
6. Involve him in your work
Try to carry your husband along on work, career, or business matters.
Do not assume that he is not interested.
Talk about your day, your projects, and so on.
As for his inputs and counsel and utilize them.
He’ll be more open to speaking with you next time.
7. Spend more time together
The problem with couples who have nothing to talk about is that they don’t spend enough time together.
But if you’ve been together for a while, there’s a good chance you have plenty of things to talk about — it’s just a matter of being intentional about spending time together.
So, the reason for your lack of communication may be that you both do not spend time together.
I know it’s not always easy to carve out time for each other when your schedules are busy and your kids run around the house.
But when you find yourself with some uninterrupted time together, set aside your phone and tablet, turn off the TV and try to find something interesting to talk about.
Once you start making an effort, you’ll be amazed at how much fun talking with each other can be.
Be intentional about spending time together as a couple, and your communication will improve.
8. Play games
Games are a great way to relax and have fun.
There are hardly any games that you can play while keeping quiet.
The dynamics and fun of the game will make you discuss, communicate, and laugh together.
If there was ice before, it could easily be broken, and your relationship will stop being cold.
9. Make eye contact
Looking away from your partner can make you feel more distant from them and make them feel like they don’t have your attention.
Maintaining steady eye contact and nodding along in agreement can enrich time spent together.
10. Ask open-ended questions
Open-ended questions will allow your partner to discuss things without feeling like they have to give you an answer right away.
They’ll give them time to think through their response before saying anything.
This can help keep the conversation flowing smoothly so that neither party feels rushed or pressured into answering quickly.
Although it is okay to have some seasons of stillness and reflection as married people, it should never get to the point where you’re going days, weeks, or months without communicating properly.
If that is happening, something is wrong, and you both should look into it.
Communication breeds intimacy and connection.
Find a way to get your communication back on track.