9 Signs You Are a Mean Wife

I don’t think anyone makes a vow on their wedding day to be a mean wife.

Yet, sometimes life happens, and we find ourselves behaving in ways that are less than loving towards our husband.

Without much talk, here are signs that you may be a mean wife:

9 Signs You Are a Mean Wife

1. Frequent Criticism of Your Husband

I’m not saying you can’t correct your husband.

I know these men can drive one crazy sometimes.

Yeah, you can point out his mistakes and things he can do better, but when it becomes a habit to criticize and belittle him constantly, you are crossing the line into mean wife territory.

Sometimes, without meaning to, you might find yourself picking on your husband a lot.

It could be small things, like telling him he never does the laundry right or commenting on how he drives.

Of course, I speak up when my husband is driving crazy, haha.

This is life we are talking about here.

Anyway, don’t miss the point.

I’m saying if you ALWAYS criticize your husband on everything, even seemingly little things, then it’s time to check yourself and see if you are a mean wife.

These small digs, even if they seem harmless, can hurt more than you realize.

When someone is always criticized, they start feeling like they’re not good enough.

Think about how you’d feel if someone pointed out all the little things you do wrong every day.

After a while, it will weigh you down.

That’s how your husband feels.

Constant criticism, even over tiny stuff, will chip away at his confidence.

He’ll feel like his efforts don’t matter or that he can’t meet your expectations.

Everyone wants to feel valued and appreciated.

If your husband only hears what he’s not doing right, it might make him pull back emotionally, even if that’s not what you intended.

2. Making Sarcastic Remarks

Sarcasm is fun, especially in marriage, where you need some humor to get through the tough times.

But too much sarcasm can come off as mean and hurtful.

Your husband is trying to have a serious conversation with you or share something vulnerable, and you respond with a sarcastic comment, not caring how he feels.

Sarcasm is a form of verbal bullying and can make your husband feel belittled and unappreciated.

Let’s make it practical.

Let me give examples of sarcastic remarks that are mean:

Husband: Honey, I forgot to take out the trash this morning.

Wife: Oh, I didn’t even realize that was part of your job.

Husband: Babe, let’s go on a date night tonight.

Wife: Wow, what a novel idea.

Husband: I got the promotion at work!

Wife: Wow, they must have lowered their standards.

Husband: I’m sorry I couldn’t fix the sink today, I had a busy day at work.

Wife: What a hard day you must have had sitting in front of a computer all day.

Even if you don’t mean it maliciously, your husband might take it to heart.

3. Giving the Silent Treatment

The silent treatment is a classic tactic many mean wives (and husbands) use to punish their partners for something they did or said that upset them.

You might think it’s an effective way to get your husband to apologize, but in reality, it’s a form of emotional abuse.

Your husband might not know what he did wrong.

Most men are clueless (I’m not trying to be mean) and need you to spell it out for them.

But instead of communicating openly, you shut down and ignore him.

Even when he asks repeatedly what’s wrong, you refuse to talk or give him the cold shoulder for days.

It’s okay to take some time to cool off and process your feelings, but purposely withholding communication as a form of punishment is mean.

4. Undermining His Authority

You might be the one who makes most of the decisions in your household, and that’s okay.

But it becomes a problem when you constantly undermine your husband’s authority.

For example, if he gives the kids a rule or instruction, don’t jump in and tell them it’s okay to break it.

Or if he makes a decision that you don’t agree with, don’t go behind his back and do the opposite.

This behavior shows a lack of respect for your husband and can make him feel like he has no control or say in the family.

You’re supposed to be working as a team, not against each other.

5. Comparing Him to Other Men

Comparison is a thief of joy and can damage your marriage in ways you don’t expect.

When you compare your husband to other men, whether it’s their appearance, career success, or how they treat their wives, you are essentially telling him he’s not good enough.

Your husband wants to feel like he is the best man for you, and constantly comparing him to others shatters that belief.

Instead of focusing on what your husband lacks in comparison to others, appreciate him for his unique qualities and strengths while you encourage him to grow in other areas.

6. Withholding Affection and Intimacy

A lot of women do this a lot.

They use sex as a weapon to get their husbands to do what they want or as a way to punish them.

Some women are so mean that they withhold sex from weeks to months just to get back at their husbands.

There’s no excuse for infidelity, but some men have strayed because their wives refused to be intimate with them.

It’s not an excuse, I repeat – it’s not an excuse for cheating, but refusing to be intimate with your husband hurts him and the marriage.

Physical touch and intimacy are important in a marriage, and withholding it as a way to control or punish your husband is mean.

If you’re upset with your husband, talk to him about it instead of using sex as leverage.

Of course, I’m not saying you’ll always be in the mood or that you have to cater to your husband’s every sexual desire.

But that’s different from intentionally withholding intimacy as a form of revenge.

7. Bringing Up Past Mistakes

We all make mistakes in life, including our husbands.

I’ve had my share of mistakes that I hate to remember myself.

So I can’t imagine someone else bringing them up and using them against me.

Bringing up past mistakes is a toxic habit that has no place in a healthy marriage.

It only leads to resentment, mistrust, and hurt feelings.

Bringing up past mistakes constantly is hurtful and unfair.

Your husband has apologized for his mistakes, why keep rubbing it in his face?

Constantly bringing up past issues or mistakes shows that you haven’t truly forgiven your husband and are holding onto resentment.

This behavior makes him feel like he can never redeem himself and will always be punished for his past mistakes, and that’s plain mean.

8. Making Fun of His Insecurities

Everyone has insecurities, even if they don’t admit it.

And as a spouse, one of your duties is to support and uplift each other through those insecurities.

But if you constantly make fun of your husband’s weak spots or vulnerabilities, it’s mean and hurtful.

Maybe for instance, you constantly joke about his weight or his receding hairline, knowing fully well he’s insecure about it.

These may seem like harmless jokes to you, but they can damage his self-esteem and confidence.

Instead of poking fun at these insecurities, try offering words of encouragement and support.

Your husband should feel safe and comfortable sharing his vulnerabilities with you, not afraid of being ridiculed.

Making fun of someone’s insecurities is never funny and only hurts the person you love.

9. Not Showing Appreciation

Just like women, men also need to feel appreciated and valued in their marriage.

When you fail to show your husband appreciation for the things he does for you or your family, you’re mean.

You know the guy is trying.

He’s doing more than trying.

He’s putting in effort to make your marriage and life better.

He’s a good husband and a great father.

You see it.

You know it.

But what do you say?

Nothing.

Nada.

Zilch.

What do you do?

You’d rather do more of number 1 (scroll up to read it if you’ve forgotten) than appreciate him.

That’s pure meanness.

If you are guilty of these nine behaviors, it’s time to reflect and make a change.

I’m not judging you.

In fact, I realize I’m guilty of some of these myself.

But acknowledging our mistakes is the first step towards making things right in our marriage.

Your husband may have hurt you in the past and made you a mean person.

But remember, two wrongs don’t make a right.

It’s time to break the cycle of meanness in your marriage.

You deserve a happy marriage, and that’s impossible if you continue being mean to your husband.