7 Ways To Get Your Wife In The Mood (When She’d Rather Watch Paint Dry)

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So your wife doesn’t want to be physically intimate with you.

And you’re pained.

“We used to do it all the time! What happened?”

I’ll tell you what happened: you stopped being the man she wanted to do it with!

Ouch. I know, but we’re being honest here.

And before you get defensive and start blaming her hormones, let me stop you right there.

Your wife was sexual. Very sexual. Remember?

That’s how you ended up married.

So if you’re ready to hear some uncomfortable truths and do something about your dead bedroom, keep reading.

But if you’re looking for easy tricks that don’t require you to change anything about yourself, close this tab now.

This isn’t for you.

7 Ways To Get Your Wife In The Mood (When She’d Rather Watch Paint Dry)

1. Stop Being Disgusting 

 

I cannot believe I have to say this to grown men, but apparently I do:

Shower daily.

Brush your teeth twice a day, maybe floss occasionally. 

Trim your beard or shave it, whatever.

Just don’t walk around looking like you’re auditioning for a role as “homeless man #3.”

Wear clothes that fit, and don’t smell like you’ve been marinating in them for three days.

Use deodorant.

For the love of all that is holy, use deodorant.

Would you want to be physically intimate with someone who stopped caring about basic hygiene?

Exactly.

Your wife is not your mother.

She’s not supposed to find you adorable regardless of how you look or smell.

She’s your wife, and wives want husbands who look like they’re worth being intimate with.

 

2. Do The Damn Dishes Without Being Asked

You know what’s not sexy?

Coming home to a sink full of dirty dishes that you left for her to clean.

You know what is sexy?

A man who does his share of the housework without needing to be asked seventeen times.

“But I work all day!”

So does she, genius.

And then she comes home and does a second shift, managing the house and kids while you’re on the couch watching football.

Your wife is exhausted, touched out and mentally drained from managing every single detail of your household while you contribute… what?

Taking out the trash once a week when she reminds you?

And then you wonder why she’s not in the mood when she finally collapses into bed at 11 pm.

She’s not rejecting sex.

She’s too tired to function because she’s been doing your job and hers all day.

You want more sex?

Do more housework without expecting a medal.

Don’t just watch while she does everything. 

Choreplay is real.

A man who treats his wife like an unpaid maid and then expects sex is a man who’s going to be disappointed.

 

3. Satisfy Her

 

Does your wife orgasm when you have sex?

Be honest.

If the answer is “sometimes,” “I don’t know,” or “I think so?” then the answer is no.

And you wonder why she’s not excited about it?

Would you be excited about an activity that’s work for you while someone else gets all the pleasure?

Most men treat sex like it’s about them.

They finish, roll over, and go to sleep.

And their wives are left there thinking “…that’s it?”

And you want her to be eager for that experience?

Make her pleasure the priority.

Learn what she likes, ask her what feels good, pay attention to her responses, and put in the effort.

Foreplay isn’t optional.

It’s not something you do for 30 seconds before jumping to the main event.

It’s an investment in her pleasure, and if you’re not willing to invest, don’t expect returns.

If you make the experience good for her, she’ll want it more. 

 

4. Stop Treating Her Like A Roommate And Then Expecting Romance

 

When’s the last time you actually dated your wife?

Not “we went to dinner.”

I mean dated, like planned something, made her feel special, and romanced her.

You don’t flirt or compliment her.

You don’t make her feel desired.

You expect her to magically be in the mood when you are.

Desire doesn’t work like that, especially not for women.

Women need build up.

We need to feel wanted and desired.

If the only time you touch her is when you want sex, she knows, and it’s a turn-off.

Touch her throughout the day, not sexually.

Just touch her.

Hug her when you get home.

Kiss her for no reason.

Hold her hand.

Put your arm around her on the couch.

Text her during the day.

Not “what’s for dinner?”

Try “I was just thinking about you” or “you looked beautiful this morning.”

Compliment her.

Make her feel valued and wanted.

Because right now, she probably feels like a maid/nanny/personal assistant who you occasionally want sex from.

And that’s not sexy; it’s depressing.

 

5. Be Interesting and Stop Being Boring

You come home from work, eat dinner, watch TV, and go to bed.

Every. Single. Day.

Same routine, same everything.

Bro, you’re boring.

When’s the last time you did something interesting?

Learned something new, had an adventure, pursued a hobby… just do something different. 

You’ve become a predictable routine, and predictable and boring doesn’t inspire desire.

Do something, anything.

Learn a skill, pick up a hobby, have conversations about interesting things, be spontaneous.

Take her somewhere unexpected.

Plan a surprise.

Do something fun.

Stop being the human equivalent of beige wallpaper and wondering why she’s not excited to be around you.

 

6. Stop Pressuring Her; Desperation Isn’t Attractive

You know what’s a guaranteed way to make your wife not want sex?

Constantly asking for it.

Whining about it and guilt-tripping her.

Making her feel bad for not being in the mood.

“It’s been three weeks!”

Yeah, and whose fault is that?

Have you done anything on this list?

Or you just been passively existing and expecting her to magically want you.

Pressure kills desire, and guilt ruins attraction. 

So stop acting like you’re entitled to her body just because you’re married.

Start being the kind of man she wants to be intimate with.

That’s the only way this works.

 

7. Ask Yourself The Hard Question: Are You Even Worth Wanting?

If you were your wife, would you want to have sex with you?

Be honest.

Are you:

• Attractive? (Do you take care of yourself?)
• Helpful? (Do you pull your weight?)
• Attentive? (Do you make her feel valued?)
• A good lover? (Does she actually enjoy sex with you?)
• Interesting? (Are you someone worth being around?)
• Emotionally available? (Can she actually connect with you?)

Or are you:

• Out of shape and unkempt?
• Lazy around the house?
• Checked out emotionally?
• Selfish in bed?
• Boring and predictable?
• Emotionally unavailable?

If you’re in the second category, the problem isn’t your wife’s libido.

The problem is you.

And no amount of tips will fix that.

You need to become a better man.

Period!

 

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