When a woman is in love, she loves to spend quality time with her man.
It is just a normal response to love for most people.
My earliest memories of liking a girl were always associated with that almost uncontrollable urge to spend time with her.
Spending quality time with your partners is very beneficial for your relationship.
However, while you may enjoy the companionship and rapport that come with spending quality time with your husband, you must be careful not to be overbearing.
I understand the urge to spend as many moments as possible with your husband, but you shouldn’t forget that your husband definitely needs a bit of space, too.
The fact that your husband needs a bit of space doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
A little bit of personal space is beneficial for your marriage.
And when a man isn’t getting enough space, it could create many issues in the relationship.
He may not verbally mention his need for space because he doesn’t want to be misunderstood.
However, he will display his need for space through several subtle and not-so-subtle signs.
We will be exploring these signs together as you honestly examine your relationship.
If these signs are present, you may just be overcrowding your husband…
6 Signs You’re Not Giving Your Husband Enough Space
1. He is less communicative
Personally, I think of myself as a free-spirited person.
I love to be free and have always maintained the need for personal space in most of my relationships.
Recently, I ended a “friendship” with a lady because she didn’t understand the concept of space.
We were not dating, and while I knew she wanted more, I could only offer her friendship.
She was always in my space, calling and texting constantly, and she got angry when I asked for some privacy.
She tried to guilt-trip me into remaining content with that toxic excuse of a friendship, but I couldn’t.
I love my peace of mind as much as my personal space, and I chose my peace of mind.
The truth is that almost every man will choose his peace of mind over being in a relationship.
You may be wondering how being overly clingy affects a man’s peace of mind.
Well, it does!
Apart from sometimes making him feel stifled, it doesn’t give him space to focus on other things.
So, if you notice that your husband, who used to be a literal chatterbox, suddenly stops being communicative, this could be the reason.
He responds in monosyllables and avoids deep conversations because he doesn’t want to prolong things.
I do this often when I want personal space, and the person is not getting it.
I just intentionally start answering curtly or even refusing to respond to conversations.
This is actually an attempt to discourage further conversations at that time.
Everyone needs time and space to process their thoughts and feelings.
Constantly being in each other’s presence can stifle that.
Now, this sign is not conclusive.
There are several other reasons your husband may not be communicative, but if he displays the next sign as well, it may just be a sign that he needs more space.
2. He prefers spending time alone
This is actually a very easy sign to spot.
The problem is many women usually overthink it when they see it.
So, I am basically an introvert and don’t like going out much.
In fact, a friend once told me she believes I don’t like people.
The truth is I like people, and I love spending time with people that I love.
But I also love to spend time alone.
My point is that just because your husband wants to do something alone doesn’t mean he no longer loves you.
Everyone needs time for themselves.
When a man doesn’t have enough personal space, his next action is to create the needed space for himself.
He mostly does this by opting for solo activities instead of shared activities with his wife.
If you notice that your husband seems to insist on spending more time alone, watching TV in another room, going for walks alone, and focusing on solo hobbies like painting or writing, this could be his way of carving out some personal space.
He wouldn’t seem so hellbent on avoiding you if you could just understand and acknowledge his need for some time to do his own things.
If your husband behaves this way, especially in tandem with the first sign, it could be a sign you’re not giving him enough space.
3. You always initiate plans
I know some men find it hard to take the initiative.
If you leave things to them, they will probably never initiate any fun activities in the relationship.
This time around, I am not talking about men who have issues taking the initiative.
I am speaking of men who have consistently taken initiative in the past.
I am the kind of person who can call a lady and set up a date just because I miss her.
However, I discovered that it wasn’t so in my relationship with one particular lady.
I never had to initiate a meetup, a date, or a hangout because she never even let me miss her one bit.
She was always around me, asking me to visit and dropping by my house unannounced.
It was tiring.
She didn’t allow me to enjoy my private time because she wanted to fill every free moment until I went to bed with her presence.
She apparently enjoyed being with me all the time, but I preferred a little bit of space.
In marriage, you stay in the same house with your husband and most likely spend most of your free time around him.
That’s an inevitable truth.
However, even then, your husband should still be able to have some alone time.
If you realize that you can’t remember your husband initiating any activities recently, it could be a sign you’re not giving him enough space.
You are all over him, bursting with energy and coming up with activities to fill up his free time.
Activities that he is quite reluctant to be involved in.
If you notice that you always have to press your husband into participating in some shared activities, you should ask him what he wants to do instead.
The odds are he just wants some time to himself.
If it always seems like you are the one initiating plans, especially when you have to coerce him into participating in them, you may come off as controlling, even if that’s not your intention.
4. He is increasingly irritable
Another thing I have noticed about myself is that I get angry easily when I need space in a clingy relationship.
I was preparing for an exam recently, and a female friend kept calling until I picked up the call.
I told her I was preparing for an exam, but she didn’t get off the call.
She stayed on the call, talking about inconsequential issues and how she misses me.
She kept on complaining about how I wasn’t taking her calls.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
I mean, I have heard people can be incredibly self-centered, but how could someone be this self-centered?
I got angry and ended the call because she was actually disturbing me.
After that call, I took some time to think and realized that every time I met with her against my will, the meetings had ended in a fiasco.
I realize I could’ve handled that better, but it made me think about how irritability is a natural human response to being stifled.
If you notice that your husband is getting upset over little things around the house, it could sometimes be a cry for space.
This is especially true if you realize that you are always in each other’s company.
He feels he has tried to express his need for space to you, but you haven’t taken the hint.
So, he gets annoyed over even trivial issues.
This is not the time to get angry at him and get into a fight with him.
Sometimes, all you need to do is take a step back and give him some breathing space.
After a few minutes or hours alone, he would have reflected on things and realized he shouldn’t have spoken to you the way he did.
However, arguing or quarreling with him at that point may create even more problems for the relationship.
I had a neighbor who lived with his girlfriend at University.
They were coursemates, had the same friends, were members of similar clubs, and even attended the same church.
They were always together, and most of the time, they were fine.
However, they would sometimes get into fights about really trivial matters.
Their relationship continued to deteriorate to the point that they started fighting every day.
The truth is that if you don’t give your husband enough personal space, your relationship may end up deteriorating into a warzone where any small miscue could lead to an explosion.
5. He avoids intimacy
Avoiding intimacy in marriage is usually linked to many causes, but I have never seen anyone linking it up with a need for space.
Usually, the conclusion when a partner is avoiding intimacy is that they are no longer attracted to their spouse or infidelity.
However, it could be something else.
Let’s be real; imagine a scenario where you are puzzling over a difficult task or problem.
You need a quiet environment to solve it, but your husband isn’t getting the memo.
He is playing music, distracting you with conversations, and even wants to make love to you.
In that scenario, it is highly unlikely that you would express any interest in intimacy because that’s not what you need at that moment.
So, sometimes, taking a big leap of judgment from your partner and avoiding intimacy may just be you jumping to conclusions.
Sometimes, when your husband avoids intimacy, it may be because he feels smothered.
He might just need space at that point.
It may seem like a terrible way to communicate a need for space, but he may have already tried communicating without success.
One time, I was with my girlfriend throughout the day.
Even while I was with her, I was working on something.
I needed to concentrate on what I was doing.
She knew this and didn’t distract me.
She just took the time to do other things.
We were in the same space for hours without exactly talking to each other, and the atmosphere wasn’t tense.
Sometimes, this is what your husband needs: time to focus on other aspects of his life without seeming like you are competing for his attention.
6. He mentions his need for space
This is the most obvious sign your husband needs more space if he communicates it directly.
The problem is that most men avoid saying it directly.
I have seen some of the boldest men I know quake at communicating their need for space directly to their wives.
This is because most women tend to react negatively to those words.
They overthink the words and usually come to the conclusion that their husbands are no longer attracted to them.
So, many men usually communicate with hints in this situation.
They hint at needing space.
They suggest you should go to an event alone.
They remind you of that task you are supposed to be working on.
The truth is that when your husband starts reminding you of things you are supposed to do, it could be a sign that he wants space.
However, some men mention their need for space directly.
If your husband tells you, “I need some time to figure something out,” it is a sign that he wants space and doesn’t want you hovering around while he deals with that matter.
It could be very difficult for you to hear this, but you need to realize that it is not an attempt to divorce you.
It just means that he needs some time to take care of things.
He could be facing stress and pressure from work.
He could be dealing with extended family issues.
He could be dealing with several other things, and you may want to help, but sometimes, the best help you can offer someone is space to think clearly.
So, if your husband displays the signs above, it could be a sign he needs space.
Speak to him about it.
If he confirms his need for more space, be calm about it and give it to him.
Moving forward, you should respect his need for personal time.
Allow him to have time for himself without attempting to make him feel guilty about it.
Use that period to pursue your own interests and hobbies.
It helps you maintain a healthy balance in life.
The fact that your husband calls you “My World” doesn’t mean you should always be his focus.
This kind of behavior eventually makes the man stop enjoying the marriage.
Instead, he starts enduring it.
The truth is that personal space is an important aspect of any relationship.
Requesting space doesn’t mean he loves you any less, and giving him space doesn’t mean you don’t love him.
It gives you time to grow individually.