While I have always held the standpoint that there are no excuses for infidelity, there are certain situations in relationships that could make a person cheat on their partner.
One of them is a lack of physical intimacy.
Physical intimacy is a really important aspect of marriage, and when it is ignored, it could cause a whole lot of problems in the relationship.
People usually say that couples need to connect on a level far deeper than physical, and I totally agree with this.
However, this doesn’t mean that they should be mutually exclusive events.
You can always bond on a deeper level with your spouse while still enjoying full-blown physical intimacy.
I mean, why choose one when you can do both?
Well, for people with genuine reasons like long distance and medical conditions, it is understandable.
If you don’t fall into these categories, you need to rethink your decision to abstain from physical intimacy.
It usually doesn’t do your relationship any good.
So, to the main question…
Can lack of physical intimacy lead to infidelity?
The simple answer is yes.
When physical intimacy diminishes, it often leads to an emotional disconnect.
When that aspect of your relationship wanes, it may open the door of your relationship to infidelity.
The lack of touch, closeness, and sexual connection can make one feel unwanted and unloved, which may push them to seek comfort elsewhere.
This is not an attempt to justify infidelity.
No, far from it.
Rather, it is an attempt to help couples avoid doing things that can catalyze infidelity.
In this article, we will explore the telling signs that your partner is tempted to cheat by the lack of physical intimacy in the marriage.
Let’s get started!
Can Lack Of Physical Intimacy Lead To Infidelity?– 6 Signs Your Partner Is Tempted To Cheat
1. They hint at it
At university, I saw several things related to relationships.
One time, my friend came to me to complain about how her boyfriend was trying to coerce her into having sex with him.
They were dating romantically, but they hadn’t done anything sexually, and he was no longer having it.
He was tired of waiting for her to give in to his seductive words and had started making threats.
He had started hinting at the number of ladies he had at his beck and call, telling her he would find satisfaction elsewhere if she wouldn’t let him have his way.
Well, she was a virgin, and she had made a vow to keep her virginity till marriage.
You may call it “old-fashioned”, but it’s a great principle to live by.
She spoke to me about it because she was scared she would lose him and was already rethinking her vow.
I pointed out that any man who threatens you with infidelity is not the right person and encouraged her to hold on to her principles regardless of how difficult things may seem.
My point is that…
In situations involving a lack of physical intimacy in relationships, partners have been known to hint at it when they reach their limits of endurance.
If your partner is being tempted to cheat by the lack of physical intimacy in the marriage and is nearing their breaking points, they may drop subtle hints around.
The aim of these subtle hints is to get you to reconsider the lack of physical intimacy thing.
If your partner is already dropping hints and threatening to satisfy themselves out there, I think it is time to rekindle physical intimacy in your marriage.
A lack of physical intimacy shouldn’t have to bring about the end of your marriage.
2. Increased criticisms
During my days at the university, I shared an apartment with an older man once.
It was a one-bedroom flat, and I was staying there for free.
So, I usually slept in the sitting room.
His younger brother was also staying with us at the time, and he shared the bedroom with him.
One evening, I came in from school and discovered we had a new person in the house.
We would be four in the small apartment for the foreseeable future.
So, he asked me to stay in the bedroom with his younger brother while he stayed on the small bed in the sitting room with the visitor.
Noble right?
The only crease in the whole thing was that the visitor was a female.
I didn’t know how the whole thing would work, but I couldn’t complain.
Well, I woke up in the morning to see the lady sleeping beside me.
I had a vague suspicion about what could have happened, but I wouldn’t interfere.
I noticed that the man seemed pissed off that day, and his anger was aimed at her.
He kept complaining about things she did.
She stayed for two days, during which he criticized her so much that I felt sorry for her.
Then suddenly, she left.
I returned from classes one day, and she was gone.
I asked him about it, and he said she told him she had found better accommodations.
She told me the truth later.
He tried to force himself on her the first night.
When she refused his advances, he got angry.
That’s why he criticised her heavily the last few days before she left.
My point here is not just to show you the predatory nature of some people.
I also want to point out how sexual frustration can make your partner critical of you.
My housemate was critical of the lady because he didn’t get to satisfy his sexual urges.
Likewise, in a marriage without physical intimacy, your partner may be struggling to deal with sexual urges.
Their intense sexual frustration may make them critical of you.
Nothing you do seems to be satisfactory.
The first thing most cheaters feel before being tempted to cheat is a deep sense of dissatisfaction, which manifests itself in never-ending criticism of their partners.
If you are in a sexless marriage and your partner is showing so much dissatisfaction with you through criticism, it could be a sign that the lack of physical intimacy is putting a strain on your partner and maybe tempting them to commit infidelity.
3. They start comparing you to other people
If your partner compares you to others, it is a sign that they might cheat on you.
Comparison only occurs when there is dissatisfaction.
When I was in primary school, my parents compared me to other kids only once.
That was the term I was second in the class instead of first.
For the other terms, it was usually other parents comparing their kids to me.
They were dissatisfied with my results that term and couldn’t resist the urge to compare me.
Comparing two people is an odd and ineffective method for motivating one person to achieve greater things.
This is why when your partner compares you to other people, it only makes you angry without yielding any positive results.
There is no satisfaction to be had in comparison.
So, if your partner suggests seeking satisfaction outside the marriage and is also overly critical, this is a worrying development.
When your partner is suffering under the strain of the lack of physical intimacy in the marriage, they may be tempted to cheat on you.
Most of the time, when partners start comparing you to other people in this situation, they are subtly revealing who they are most likely to cheat with.
The fact that you are being compared to that other person means that the person has caught your partner’s attention, even in ways you don’t know yet.
4. They are always on the phone
For most couples, the lack of physical intimacy means that they don’t have much to do or spend time together.
Imagine couples in a marriage who are already straining from the pressure of a drought of physical intimacy, trying to spend quality time together.
Every minute in each other’s company reminds the most affected partner of what they are missing.
Usually, quality time in this situation ends up in a fiasco.
Especially when there is nothing deeper to connect with.
In such situations, phones always come to the rescue.
Everyone is sitting in the same room but they are busy in different worlds, courtesy of their phones.
It gets even worse when it feels like your partner is always on their phone.
The truth is that this sign has become harder because almost everyone is attached to their phones or devices.
We use our phones for so many things.
Texting and calling family and friends, paying bills, receiving emails from work and sometimes from weird friends who prefer emails to social media, and, of course, the subconscious scrolling through social media, keeping up with global trends.
My point is that we all use phones for long hours.
This makes it hard to spot this sign.
However, you can still spot it, and I will show you how.
When your partner suddenly becomes so attached to their phones that it feels like their phone is a part of their body, it is a sign that something may be wrong.
It is a sign that they are engaged in fun activities on their phones and don’t want to share the fun with you.
Your partner even takes their phones into the toilet and the shower.
That seems really extreme and suspicious to me.
However, this is not enough to accuse your partner of cheating or planning to cheat.
A major sign that your partner may be tempted to cheat is that they are always preoccupied with important messages on their phones.
You know that kind of message you reply immediately with a big smile on your face.
Whenever you ask who they are talking to, they may reply with something vague like “a friend” or “somebody”.
This vagueness is a suspicious sign.
It could be nothing, but if it is displayed in tandem with the other signs above, then you may just be on to something.
5. They are defensive
Well, you really don’t expect your partner to be happy with you in a relationship that lacks physical intimacy.
Of course, there will be issues.
However, one thing you don’t expect from them is defensiveness.
When your partner begins to act defensive when you ask simple questions, it could be a sign that they are tempted to cheat.
I mean, who would blame them?
They have had to put up with a lack of physical intimacy for such a long time.
Even if a natural response to lack of physical intimacy in marriage may be to seek it outside, it is not the mature way to go about things.
But if your partner begins to display a defensive attitude when you ask simple questions about their whereabouts or who they are talking to, it could be a sign that they are contemplating giving in to their urges.
If you notice this sign in your marriage, it is definitely a sign that your partner has something to hide.
That secret may just be the fact that they are either contemplating cheating or already cheating.
6. They display a marked lack of interest in physical intimacy
After noticing all these signs, it is only natural to want to rekindle physical intimacy in the marriage.
You have seen that the lack of physical intimacy is taking your marriage down a dark path towards destruction.
The problem right now is that it feels like your realization came too late.
Your partner seems largely disinterested whenever you try to rekindle romance in your relationship.
They have hankered for it for so long, and now that they finally have it, they are no longer interested.
While the lack of physical intimacy might be the root problem, a complete disinterest from your partner in rekindling that intimacy is an alarming sign.
If they avoid touch, kisses, or sex altogether, it might be a sign the lack of physical intimacy in the relationship may have pushed them towards infidelity.
Note that infidelity may or may not have occurred yet, but at this point, your partner is beginning to become largely indifferent to you, and that’s a problem on its own for your marriage.
If you recognize these signs in your partner, it’s essential to approach the situation with care.
Jumping to conclusions can damage the relationship further.
Here’s what you should do: Initiate a calm and honest conversation about your concerns.
Express your feelings without accusations and listen to your partner’s perspective.
If you are both on the same page about it, you may consider working out your issues and differences with the help of a couple’s therapist.
Work together to reignite the physical and emotional intimacy in your relationship.
This might involve spending quality time together, being more affectionate, or exploring new ways to connect.
Hopefully, your relationship is still salvageable.
Ultimately, lack of physical intimacy can indeed pave the way for infidelity, but it’s not an inevitable outcome.
You can recognize the signs early in your relationship and choose not to let it gain root.
In all your doings, never let intimacy fade away in your relationship!