With puberty and adolescence come some deep friendships and intimacy between adolescents of the opposite sex.
High school dating can be an enjoyable and exciting experience.
It can also be a time of confusion and emotional turmoil.
Many unique challenges come with dating in high school, including peer pressure, social media, and navigating changing friendships.
Also, there’s often controversy around the reality of high school love.
It is popularly believed that these relationships are often characterized by naivety, lust, and infatuation.
Wild and raging hormones are often held responsible for the romantic feelings that high schoolers develop at that stage.
The durability of such relationships is often doubted.
Although the general belief is that high school relationships are usually short-lived, one must be wary of concluding that all high school relationships are doomed to fail.
To outrightly say that all high school relationships do not last is close-minded.
Indeed, many such relationships do not stand the test of time.
I have, however, witnessed teenage lovers end up as married couples and build a blissful family together.
I guess you might have, too.
Several factors, including the unique circumstances of each love affair, determine whether a high school love affair will fail or result in an enviable marriage.
The following factors could be responsible for the short duration of some relationships that kicked off in high school:
6 Reasons Some High School Relationships Do Not Last Long
1. Distance between the lovers
Teenagers may have to change location after high school to their various colleges to pursue their dreams.
Coping with the new environment and schedules may be a struggle, let alone trying to sustain a relationship simultaneously.
Relocation often leads to a long-distance relationship between teenage couples.
Teenage lovers who are still in high school are not unaffected by the setbacks caused by distance, and this is notwithstanding whether they are in day school or boarding school. How is this so?
Their movement, hang-outs, and availability for each other are often largely controlled and curtailed by their parents, guardians, and school management.
Close monitoring and control often result in a problem of distance for teenage school lovers.
You may wonder, “How is distance a problem for lovers?”
Distance occasions poor communication as they do not get to see each other as often as before.
They may begin to get into frequent misunderstandings and arguments, which may tarnish their impression of each other.
In addition, while still in high school, there may be distance if they do not attend the same high school and only get to see each other when luck permits.
They might soon tire of depending on luck to keep their relationship going and decide to call it quits.
2. Growth
Teenagers are still growing and changing, and their interests and values can vary significantly during this period.
One thing to consider is that many teenagers are still figuring out who they are and what they want in life.
This can lead to them changing their minds about what they want in a relationship or who they want to be with.
In this growing phase, teens gradually become more mature and self-aware to determine their likes and dislikes regarding dating.
If these do not align, the relationship will likely hit the rock.
3. External influence
They might also be influenced by their parents, friends, or social media, leading them to make decisions that aren’t based on their values or interests.
They are at an age when they are obliged to obey and listen to their parents.
Their parents’ opinions about their relationships may easily sway them and influence their decision about the relationship.
They may not be mature and disciplined enough to know what is best for them.
Therefore, it is easier to accept and imbibe some practices that may not be beneficial to their relationship, or that will open their eyes to the pointlessness.
Peer pressure can also impact the duration of dating relationships.
There are a few ways peer pressure can be held responsible.
For instance, it creates a sense of FOMO, or “fear of missing out.”
This is when high schooler feels like they’re missing out on something fun or exciting if they’re not dating like many of their peers.
For example, if all of their friends are constantly talking about their relationships, that person might feel left out and pressure themselves to find a partner so they can join in on the conversation.
The fear of missing out can create a sense of urgency around finding a partner, leading to them settling for relationships that might not be right for them in the long run.
For example, if they feel pressured to find a partner quickly, they might rush into a relationship with someone who isn’t compatible with them.
In the end, this can lead to the relationship ending after a short time since it wasn’t based on a solid foundation, to begin with.
4. Poor academic performance
I recall that a high school classmate of mine broke up with her then-boyfriend because of his constant poor academic performance.
She couldn’t deal with the embarrassment his many failures brought among her friends.
If they were adults, they would better manage each other’s weaknesses so their relationship is not adversely affected.
Also, when students are experiencing academic stress, they may have less time and energy to invest in their relationships.
This can lead to a lack of communication and connection, which can ultimately cause the relationship to end.
The stress itself can also have a negative impact on the relationship, as it can lead to negative emotions and conflict.
These factors can contribute to a relationship ending sooner than it otherwise might have.
Moreover, these teen relationships may distract the lovebirds from their academic goals, which may cause them to discontinue their relationship, especially if properly guided.
5. Secrecy
Generally speaking, high school lovers prefer to shroud their romantic relationships in secrecy.
High school relationships are often condemned, discouraged, and restricted by parents, guardians, and the school management.
Dating is considered a sexually risky behavior for teenagers, hence its restriction.
Thus, school lovers who indulge in the act often engage in secret.
How does secrecy negatively affect the life span of a high school love affair?
The restriction to love affairs in high school may cause secret lovers to become nervous and fearful of the punishment or embarrassment that may follow the publicity or discovery of their escapades.
Therefore, the nervousness and fear of being caught often affect the secret lover’s commitment to the relationship and thus strain the love affair.
Secrecy can create a sense of isolation and disconnection, which can harm the relationship.
Essentially, secrecy can create a barrier between the people in the relationship.
This barrier can make it harder for them to communicate and connect.
It can also make it hard for them to build trust and intimacy, which are key to a healthy relationship.
So, while secrecy might seem like it could help the relationship in some ways, it actually has a negative impact overall.
6. The long years of dating
Although no universal time frame is prescribed for dating before marriage, dating someone for an extended period may cause the relationship to become boring.
So, in this case, even though the relationship has been on for an extended period, it may not end up as something permanent, i.e. marriage.
The lovers may begin to have unresolvable issues and be less attracted to each other.
High school lovers are prone to these risks because of the long years it will take them to date each other before they arrive at a legitimate marriageable age.
LAST THOUGHTS
These factors can make it hard for high school relationships to thrive.
For high school relationships to work, it will take a lot of commitment, solid friendship, and co-growth.
There is no clear-cut rule or mechanism to determine how long a high school relationship will last.
I have heard the fantastic testimonies of high school lovers who met and started dating in high school and got married fifteen years later.
With commitment, friendship, and co-growth, a high school relationship may mature into a blissful marriage.
However, the fact that a high school relationship did not end in marriage does not mean it is an entirely bad or failed relationship.
A well-nurtured high school relationship may not end in marriage but may lead to an intimate lifelong friendship or business relationship.
It is important for the lovers to discuss and agree on their individual and joint priorities to align their life purpose and guide the young partners from making decisions that will mar their future together.