I’ll urge you to read the nine signs you are a traumatized woman if you haven’t.
Trauma is like carrying a heavy backpack full of emotions, memories, and triggers that you didn’t sign up for.
Healing is possible, though.
It won’t happen overnight and won’t be easy, but you can work through it one step at a time.
How to Heal from Trauma And Stop Hiding in Pain
1. Acknowledge Your Pain
Yes, you’ve been through a lot.
No matter the nature of your trauma, it’s understandable that you want to forget it or push it away.
But it’s not the best way to heal.
Healing begins when you stop running from your pain
I understand how tempting it is to suppress your emotions or act like everything’s fine, but ignoring your trauma only makes it fester.
So you’ve got to acknowledge it.
Sit with your feelings, let them wash over you, and know that it’s okay to feel pain.
Acknowledging what happened and how it’s affected you isn’t weakness; it’s courage.
It’s saying, “This hurt me, and I deserve to heal.”
Acknowledging your pain doesn’t mean wallowing in it.
It means facing it and accepting that it’s a part of your story.
Start by identifying how your trauma shows up in your life; I mean the signs.
Once you recognize the signs, permit yourself to feel.
Cry if you need to, journal your thoughts, or even say it out loud: “This happened to me, and it hurt.”
This step isn’t about fixing anything just yet.
It’s about being honest with yourself.
When you acknowledge your pain, you take the first step towards healing.
You can’t heal what you don’t recognize.
So sit with your emotions, honor them, and give yourself permission to feel everything that comes up.
It’s okay not to be okay.
You won’t feel this way forever.
Healing takes time and patience.
Just like a physical wound, emotional wounds need time to heal too.
2. Talk to Someone You Trust
Trauma is so isolating.
You feel like you’re carrying a secret no one can understand.
But talking to someone you trust, whoever that is…maybe a close friend, family member, or therapist will help lighten your emotional burden.
Some people even share their stories of trauma on social media or anonymously online.
It’s not about seeking attention, validation, or even solutions but about finding a sense of community and support from others who have gone through similar experiences.
People share private stuff with me a lot, and all I do most of the time is listen to them.
They always say they feel better afterward.
So sometimes, all you gotta do is talk to someone.
Talking helps in two ways: first, it validates your feelings by putting them into words.
Second, it reminds you that you don’t have to face this alone.
You’re not a burden for sharing your pain.
In fact, asking for support is one of the bravest things you can do.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
Trauma often brings self-blame.
You might think,
“I should’ve seen it coming,”
“It’s my fault this happened.”
But self-blame only adds to the weight of your pain.
Instead, practice self-compassion.
Treat yourself with kindness and understanding,
Just as you would a friend going through a difficult time.
Or how would you treat a friend who’s hurting?
Would you criticize them for their pain?
Would you say it was their fault?
Of course not.
You’d reassure them, remind them of their strength, and offer comfort.
Now, imagine extending that same kindness to yourself.
Healing from trauma takes time.
But practicing self-compassion, not self-pity, will help ease some of the burden.
You’ve been through a lot.
Be kind to yourself.
4. Identify and Challenge Your Triggers
Triggers are the worst.
One minute, you’re fine; the next, you hear a song, smell a perfume, or see a place, and bam!
You’re transported back to a moment you’d rather forget.
It’s like an emotional ambush, and it’s exhausting.
So, you need to know your triggers.
What sets you off?
Is it certain people, places, or even phrases?
For example, maybe seeing a particular car reminds you of an accident, or a specific smell brings up a painful memory.
Once you know your triggers, you can start challenging them.
Maybe loud voices make you anxious because they remind you of arguments from the past.
Instead of avoiding every situation where people might raise their voices (which is impossible), try grounding yourself in the present.
Remind yourself, “This is not then. I’m safe now.”
You can even rehearse responses in your mind to feel more prepared.
You don’t have to face all your triggers at once.
Start small.
Maybe revisit a place you’ve been avoiding, but take a trusted friend with you.
Each time you face a trigger, you take away a little of its power.
Before you know it, those emotional ambushes will feel less like battles and more like bumps in the road.
So I’m currently watching Sex Education on Netflix (even though the sex scenes are a little too much, but oh, it’s sex education, lol), and I just watched the scene where Aimee was escorted onto the bus by her friends after experiencing sexual harassment on the bus.
She couldn’t take the bus for a long time due to the trauma of the harassment.
But with the help of her friends, she slowly started facing her triggers.
One of her friends said, ”It’s just a bus.”
Aimee repeated it.
5. Create Healthy Routines
Routines are the secret weapon for healing that doesn’t get enough credit.
Trauma makes life feel chaotic, like everything is out of control.
But routines?
They’re like your life’s reset button.
They give you a sense of normalcy and stability, which is exactly what you need when the world feels upside down.
Start simple.
Maybe it’s waking up at the same time every day, even on weekends.
Or having a little morning ritual, like drinking tea/coffee and journaling for five minutes.
You don’t need a Pinterest-perfect schedule; you just need consistency.
When you know what to expect, handling the unexpected is easier.
Routines also assure you that you’re in control of your day, not your trauma.
6. Get Comfortable With Setting Boundaries
Raise your hand if you’ve ever said yes when you wanted to scream, “NO!”
I’m raising mine.
It’s okay, we do it sometimes.
But when you’ve been through trauma, setting boundaries feels extra hard.
You don’t want to upset anyone, so you end up overcommitting, overcompensating, overgiving, and eventually overwhelming yourself.
Boundaries aren’t about being mean.
They’re about protecting your peace.
If someone asks you to do something that feels like too much, it’s okay to say, “I’d love to help, but I can’t right now.”
No explanations or guilt required.
The more you practice, the easier it gets.
And guess what? The people who care about you will respect your boundaries, not resent them.
7. Celebrate Small Wins
Healing can sometimes feel like climbing a mountain with no summit in sight.
But every time you take a step, no matter how tiny, you’re closer to the top than you were yesterday.
That’s why it’s so important to celebrate those small wins.
Did you get out of bed when all you wanted to do was hide under the covers?
Celebrate it. Did you face a trigger without completely falling apart?
That’s a win!
Treat yourself like your own cheerleader.
You wouldn’t tell a friend, “Oh, that’s no big deal,” so don’t do it to yourself.
Acknowledge your progress, even if it feels small.
Say out loud, “I’m proud of me.”
When you celebrate small wins, you’re training your brain to focus on what’s going right.
And when things get tough, those wins remind you that you’re capable of moving forward, one step at a time.
You’re stronger than you think, and every little victory proves it.
9. Be Patient with Yourself
Know this and know peace: healing isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon.
Some days, you’ll feel like you’re making amazing progress, and other days, it’ll feel like you’ve taken five steps back.
That’s normal.
Healing is messy.
You can’t force a plant to grow faster by pulling on its leaves.
All you can do is water it, give it sunlight, and let time do its thing.
The same goes for you.
Be kind to yourself, especially on the tough days.
Instead of saying, “I should be over this by now,” try saying, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”
When you feel stuck, look back at how far you’ve come.
Maybe you’re not where you want to be yet, but you’re definitely not where you started.
Progress, no matter how slow, is still progress.
So take it day by day, moment by moment.
Be patient with your process, and don’t rush your growth.
You’re healing on your own timeline, and that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.
Keep going.
You’ve got this.
And I’m rooting for you!