I have a video of Viola Davis on my phone saying something along the lines of, ”Marriage doesn’t start when you have all the butterfly feelings; it starts when you look at your partner and you wanna k*ll them!” lol
I can relate.
Been married for 8 years now, and I agree.
Loving someone, especially your husband, isn’t always a walk in the park.
You see those storybook marriages with endless romance and zero conflicts?
Yeah, they’re fiction for a reason.
Real-life relationships have their ups and downs, and there will be days when you want to strangle your husband instead of showering him with love.
But that’s okay.
It’s normal.
What matters is how you choose to handle those hard days, and here are some tips on how to still love your husband even when things get tough.
How to Love Your Husband Even on Hard Days
1. Remember why you fell in love
When the going gets tough, it’s easy to forget why you fell in love with your husband in the first place.
Take a moment to reflect on what attracted you to him and all the special moments you’ve shared together.
Remind yourself of his positive qualities and why you chose to spend your life with him.
Yes, he’s annoying right now, but maybe he’s also caring, kind, and funny.
Maybe he helps around the house or always knows how to make you laugh.
Whatever you focus on has the capacity to magnify.
So, if you focus on the positive aspects of your husband, you’ll be more likely to feel love towards him, even when it’s hard.
2. Talk To Him
Communication is everything.
Sounds cliché, right?
Well yeah, but just because it’s cliché doesn’t mean it’s not true.
You can’t expect your husband to read your mind and know exactly what you’re feeling or thinking.
Sometimes, we get so caught up in our emotions that we forget to communicate with our partners.
It’s not just about talking; it’s about listening, too.
Create a safe space where both of you can express your feelings without fear of judgment or criticism.
Sure, it might mean hearing things that aren’t so cool, but it also opens the door to understanding.
I understand how much we try to avoid having difficult conversations with the people we love.
But relationships cannot survive on sweet nothings and surface-level conversations alone.
It requires depth, vulnerability, and openness to connect with your partner truly.
And that’s where honest communication comes in.
So, on those days when he comes home grumpy, instead of shutting down or getting defensive, ask him what’s going on.
You’ll be surprised at the revelations that can come from simply asking and listening.
3. Practice Empathy
You know, it’s funny how when we talk about empathy, we usually think of outsiders or strangers.
It doesn’t readily come to mind that we should practice empathy with our partners.
When loving your husband is hard, try to put yourself in his shoes.
Maybe he’s stressed at work or dealing with personal issues you may not know.
All I know is, you can never go wrong with showing kindness and understanding towards your partner.
4. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
No relationship is perfect, and there will always be little things that annoy us about our partners.
But don’t let these small things overshadow your love with your husband.
Rather than getting upset over every little thing, focus on the bigger picture and choose your battles wisely.
Is it really worth arguing about how he loads the dishwasher or…
I’m trying to tread carefully here because I know how touchy some topics are, no matter how ”trivial”.
For example, I can’t stand a messy toilet situation.
So, whatever you think is trivial and you can let go, keep reminding yourself that your love for each other is more important than silly disagreements.
Just choose your battles wisely.
5. Focus on Solutions
Your problems will not disappear just by ignoring them or getting angry about them.
Whatever is causing the hard times in your marriage, you need to address it and find solutions together.
Instead of blaming each other or playing the “who’s right” game, focus on finding a solution that works for both of you.
As much as you want to love your husband even when it’s hard, when things are too hard, it’s hard to love.
So, whatever it is, find solutions together.
6. Be Patient with Each Other
Patience isn’t just a virtue; it’s a necessity in relationships.
Everyone has bad days, and you need to give your husband the space he needs to cope.
Avoid adding to the pressure or insisting on solving every problem immediately.
Instead, offer your support and wait for the storm to pass.
Patience shows him that you trust he’ll come around and that your love isn’t conditional on an immediate fix.
7. Try Small Acts of Kindness
Trust me, it’s amazing what small gestures can do.
Finding a note in his lunch, hearing “I love you” unexpectedly, or being greeted with his favorite meal can brighten even the cloudiest day.
These little acts show him that you care deeply about him, even when things aren’t perfect.
We women always think we are the ones who enjoy romance, but men appreciate it just as much.
And the fact that they don’t get it that much will make it even more special to your husband.
8. Remember the Good Times
There’s a reason Google Photos and Facebook Memories always send us those “on this day x years ago” notifications.
It’s because reminiscing on happy times can bring us joy and remind us of why we fell in love in the first place.
Take time to look through old photos or watch a funny movie you both enjoyed together.
Good thing smartphones make it easier to capture every precious moment these days.
Even if you’re going through a rough patch, remembering the good times can help bring you closer and remind you that you are each other’s soulmate.
9. Forgive and Forget
Everyone makes mistakes—yes, even your husband.
Holding on to grudges only adds more weight to already challenging days.
No matter how you guys are in love, you’ll hurt each other’s feelings at some point.
What matters most is how you handle the situation.
Forgive your partner and forget the past mistakes.
Holding onto resentment and anger will only make it harder to love your husband, especially when it’s already hard.
10. Take Care of Yourself
It’s easy to get caught up in trying to fix everything in your marriage without taking care of yourself first.
But if you are not emotionally and physically healthy, how can you expect a healthy relationship with your husband?
So, dear sis, I say take care of yourself.
Do what you love, spend time with friends and family, exercise regularly, eat well, and make time for self-care.
Taking care of yourself will not only benefit you but also your marriage.
12. Seek Professional Help if Needed
Sometimes, problems in a marriage can be too tough to handle alone.
And that’s perfectly okay.
Seeking help from a therapist or counselor doesn’t mean your relationship is failing; it means you’re committed to making it work.
If that’s what your marriage needs, please go for it.
Loving your husband through the hard days is about seeing the bigger picture and acknowledging that no relationship is without its struggles.
I’m positive that these twelve tips will help you love your husband through tough times.
They’ll help me too
Because boy, these men be driving us crazy sometimes.