I believe a relationship should improve your life.
Life is already hard.
I mean, some days you’re tired before you even get out of bed.
Now imagine dating or being married to someone who makes it all harder.
You’ve had a long day, but instead of looking forward to talking to him, you’re preparing for more trouble.
It’s better to be single than to be in a relationship that drains the life out of you.
Of course, no relationship is perfect.
I’ve been married for a decade, and I know you won’t agree on everything.
But you should be able to turn to your partner for comfort.
Here are types of men who will drain you emotionally.
6 Types of Men Who Will Drain You Emotionally
1. The man who can never be wrong
One thing I’m grateful for about my husband is how easily he says sorry when I point out something he’s done wrong.
In fact, he taught me how to say sorry too, and I’m grateful for that.
This is someone who is ten years older than me.
Yet he can listen to me, acknowledge his fault, and apologize without making it a struggle.
I don’t take that for granted.
If there’s one kind of man I couldn’t marry, it’s a man who believes that because he’s the man, he must always be right.
You can’t apologize because you’re the head of the home?
Please, how does saying “I was wrong” remove your headship?
I don’t care how many gifts you buy me afterward.
If you’ve hurt me, acknowledge it.
We can enjoy the gifts after you’ve said sorry.
It’s exhausting dealing with someone who always has to be right.
You bring up a concern, and he starts looking for faults in how you raised it.
Your tone. Your timing.
Before you know it, you’re arguing about how you spoke, and what he did has disappeared from the conversation.
Sometimes, you end up apologizing.
How do you resolve anything with a man who believes the problem can never be him?
Honestly, I don’t envy any woman dealing with that.
Having to fight to get a simple acknowledgment that you’ve been hurt will wear you out.
2. The man you have to keep rescuing
This one. It’s like raising a boy.
You keep sorting things out for him and saving him from the consequences of his own decisions.
Before you’ve finished dealing with one problem, he’s brought another.
Everything is your responsibility.
He needs a job, but you’re the one searching for vacancies and reminding him to apply.
He falls out with people, and you’re making excuses for him.
When do you get to rest?
You can’t even have a bad day in peace because he needs you to help him handle his own.
You need someone you can lean on too.
Imagine being exhausted and realizing that the person you want to turn to is the reason you’re exhausted.
3. The man who punishes you with silence
Adults talk. Kids sulk.
That’s my philosophy for handling disagreements in a relationship.
If I’ve offended you, tell me.
If you’re upset about something, let’s talk.
I can’t be following you around the house, begging you to tell me what I did.
We’re both adults.
I know you’re sometimes too angry to have a sensible conversation right away, so you might need a little time to calm down.
That, I understand.
But ignoring me for days, refusing to answer simple questions, and waiting for me to beg before you acknowledge my existence?
That is exhausting, especially when we’re in the same house.
You talk to everyone else, laugh on the phone, but suddenly you lose your voice with me.
If you have a man like this, you’ll start avoiding anything that might upset him.
Even when you have a concern, you swallow it because you don’t have the strength to go another three days without speaking.
4. The man who needs constant proof that you love him
I remember a guy my best friend dated years ago.
This guy would literally throw a fit if he called her and she didn’t pick up.
Imagine having to explain yourself every time you miss a call.
You could be sleeping, bathing, working, or just away from your phone.
But now you have to defend yourself as if you’ve committed a crime.
With this kind of man, whatever you do is never enough.
You answer his calls, spend time with him, and show him affection.
Yet one missed call is enough to put your love on trial again.
Eventually, you start doing things out of fear of how he’ll react.
You keep checking your phone when you’re out with friends.
If your battery is running low, you’re worried about the argument waiting for you.
There should be enough trust in your relationship for a missed call to remain a missed call.
5. The man who’s jealous of your progress
I remember dating an ex who was uncomfortable that I was gaining popularity on Facebook years ago.
I mean, it was just Facebook. It wasn’t as if I had won a Nobel Prize. 😂
But even that was a problem.
I wanted a relationship where my partner would be my biggest, loudest cheerleader.
Someone I could run to with good news and know he’d be excited for me.
That wasn’t it, so I broke up with him.
Now, I’ve been married for a decade to a man who sometimes believes in me more than I believe in myself.
I’ll be there wondering whether I can pull something off, and my husband is already convinced I can.
That is one of the beautiful things about marriage: having someone in your corner who wants to see you do well.
You have no business being with a man who doesn’t support your dreams, let alone one who is jealous of your progress.
Where is the sense in that?
This kind of man will drain you emotionally because you’re supposed to be excited to share your wins with him, but you can’t.
You’re already wondering what he’ll say to spoil your joy.
6. The man with wandering eyes
This kind of man will literally steal your peace because you can’t even rest.
You’re out together, but his eyes are following every woman who walks past.
You’re talking to him, and you can tell he’s no longer listening because somebody behind you has caught his attention.
Do I have to compete for your attention while sitting right in front of you?
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’ll never notice another attractive person.
I’m married, and I still know when someone is good-looking.
But there’s a difference between noticing someone and staring, flirting, or finding an excuse to approach her.
Then, when you mention it, he tells you you’re insecure.
How convenient.
You keep behaving in ways that make me uncomfortable, but my discomfort is now the problem?
You can’t enjoy going anywhere with this kind of man because you’ll be busy watching him to see who he’s watching.
A simple outing becomes another evening of feeling overlooked and going home upset.
You should be able to enjoy a date with your man without monitoring where his eyes are going.
It’s exhausting to be with someone who keeps making you wonder whether he’d rather be with someone else.
I’m not saying a good man will never upset you.
My husband and I have our disagreements too.
But there should be room to apologize, listen, and do better.
You shouldn’t have to keep begging for the bare minimum while he insists you’re asking for too much.
Life already asks a lot of you.
The person you choose to share it with should give you reasons to be glad you did.
