Before you answer, you might be wondering, “Err, what’s the difference? Aren’t pretty women attractive?”
Well, not necessarily.
You can be pretty without being attractive, and you can be attractive without being conventionally pretty.
I know women who are drop-dead gorgeous, but after spending a few minutes with them, you begin to wonder what happened to all that beauty.
And I know women who may not turn heads immediately when they walk into a room, but the more you get to know them, the more attractive they become.
There’s just something about them.
The way they speak, carry themselves, laugh, interact with people, and even think.
You find yourself wanting to spend more time with them.
And that’s why, if I had to choose between being pretty and being attractive, I’d choose attractive. Every single time.
Don’t get me wrong. I love looking pretty.
Which woman doesn’t enjoy looking in the mirror and loving what she sees?
But I’ve come to understand that being pretty and being attractive aren’t exactly the same.
And knowing the difference can change how you see yourself.
1. Pretty Is What People See; Attractive Is What They Experience
When someone calls you pretty, they’re usually talking about your physical appearance.
Your face, your smile, your skin, your features, or how well you put yourself together.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Physical beauty is wonderful and even comes with some benefits that we call ”pretty privilege”, but attraction goes beyond what the eyes can see.
Have you ever met someone you didn’t initially consider good-looking, but after getting to know them, you started finding them attractive?
Maybe they were funny, intelligent, thoughtful, or just pleasant to be around.
Suddenly, you started noticing things about them that you hadn’t noticed before.
That’s attraction.
2. Pretty Can Get You Attention, but Attractive Can Make People Want to Know You
A pretty woman can walk into a room and attract attention without saying a word.
People notice beautiful faces. That’s human nature. We look.
But what happens after the initial attention?
Imagine two women at a social gathering.
One is exceptionally beautiful, but she’s so boring, can’t engage in conversation, and looks down on everyone.
The other woman may not be the most conventionally beautiful person in the room, but she’s warm, funny, confident, and interested in people.
Who do you think people will want to spend more time with?
Before you drag me, I’m not saying pretty women have terrible personalities.
You can be beautiful, intelligent, kind, and interesting all at once.
My point is that beauty may make someone curious about you, but there’s more to being someone people enjoy knowing.
3. Being Attractive Has a Lot to Do With How You Carry Yourself
I always say confidence is the new sexy.
And I’m not talking about the kind of confidence that makes someone think they’re better than everybody else.
I mean a woman who is comfortable with herself.
She can express her opinions without feeling she must agree with everyone or everyone must agree with her.
She doesn’t spend every minute comparing herself to other women.
See, you don’t have to be the prettiest woman in the room to carry yourself beautifully.
4. Pretty Is Often About Genetics; Attractiveness Gives You More to Work With
Some women won the genetic lottery.
They were born with features that society considers beautiful.
And good for them!
But what about the rest of us?
Are we supposed to spend our lives feeling inadequate because we don’t have a particular nose, face shape, skin tone, or body type?
One thing I love about attractiveness is that you can intentionally develop some aspects of it.
You can improve your communication skills and learn to dress in ways that make you feel good…
You can work on your confidence, personal hygiene, posture, emotional intelligence, and how you relate to people.
None of these things requires you to look like a beauty queen.
5. Being Pretty Doesn’t Automatically Make You Desirable to Everyone
One thing I wish more women understood is that beauty and attraction are subjective.
You can be the most beautiful woman in the world, and some people will still not find you attractive.
Imagine that!
And someone else will look at a woman you consider average and think she’s the most beautiful person they’ve ever seen.
That’s life.
We all have preferences.
Some people love reserved women. Others are drawn to outspoken women.
Some, like my husband, find intelligence attractive.
So why spend your entire life trying to fit into one narrow definition of beauty, especially when that definition keeps changing?
You don’t need to appeal to everybody.
And you certainly don’t need every man you meet to find you attractive.
You’re not a product on display, waiting for customers to approve of you.
6. Your Personality Can Make You More Attractive or Less Attractive
Have you ever found someone physically attractive until they opened their mouth?
Hehehe.
I think most of us have had that experience.
You admire someone from a distance, but after a few interactions, the attraction begins to disappear.
Their appearance hasn’t changed, but your perception of them has.
Now think about the opposite.
Someone who becomes more appealing because they have qualities you find valuable.
That’s why working on your character matters as much as taking care of your physical appearance, because who you are affects the quality of your relationships.
7. The Most Attractive Thing You Can Be Is Comfortable With Yourself
One of the most exhausting things a woman can do is spend her life trying to become somebody else’s idea of beautiful.
Today, you’re worried about your weight. Tomorrow, it’s your skin. Next week, it’s your hair.
Then you see another woman on social media, and suddenly you want to change something else about yourself.
Where does it end?
I’m not against looking good or improving your appearance.
Enjoy being feminine in whatever way feels natural to you.
But don’t make your entire sense of worth depend on how attractive other people find you.
Beauty standards will always change.
You need something more than compliments to feel good about yourself, and you need to genuinely like the woman you’re becoming.
So, Pretty or Attractive?
For me, the answer is attractive.
Pretty is not bad. In fact, I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive.
You can absolutely be both.
But if I had to choose, I’d rather be a woman whose attractiveness goes beyond what people see when they look at me.
I’d rather be remembered for how I made people feel, the conversations we had, my confidence, my kindness, my sense of humor, and what makes me uniquely me.
Physical beauty attracts admiration, but there’s something special about having a personality people enjoy.
And one more thing, ladies.
You don’t have to be attractive to everybody to be valuable.
Your worth doesn’t increase because people find you desirable, and it doesn’t decrease because they don’t.
So, over to you.
Would you rather be pretty or attractive? And do you think there’s really a difference between the two?
I’d love to know what you think. 😘
